Authentic Achievements with Special Guest Sherry Winn
🎙️ Authentic Achievements Podcast: Unleashing Olympic-Level Leadership with Sherry
In this electrifying episode of Authentic Achievements, host Kim-Adele Randall is thrilled to welcome a true leader in every sense of the word, Sherry. Stepping into the world of leadership from the heights of athletic achievement at the Olympic Games, Sherry brings unparalleled insights garnered from leading college basketball programs to clinching a National Championship. As the CEO of The Winning Leadership Company, she has dedicated over 3,900 hours to crafting Olympic-level leaders.
Episode Highlights:
🏅 Sherry’s Journey: From Olympic Glory to Leadership Excellence
🎓 The Winning Leadership Company: Crafting Leaders of Tomorrow
💼 Speaking Engagements: Inspiring Audiences and Corporations Alike
With a stage as vast as Gillette Stadium and audiences as large as 14,000, Sherry’s impact knows no bounds. Major corporations including Dell, McDonald’s, and Adobe have eagerly sought her wisdom to transform their teams. Now, she extends an invaluable opportunity to our listeners – a complimentary 50-minute discovery call to ignite your journey towards unprecedented success with an Olympic-level mindset.
Connect with Sherry:
🌐 Website: www.thewinningleadershipcompany.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thewinningleadershipcompany/
🔗 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thewinningleadershipcompany/
📺 YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@SherryMWinn
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thewinningleadershipcompany/
Don’t miss out on this exclusive opportunity! Like, subscribe, share, and review Authentic Achievements on your favorite podcast platform to stay updated on inspiring stories of success and leadership. Join us in unleashing your full potential!
#AuthenticAchievements #LeadershipExcellence #OlympicMindset #PodcastLeadership #SherryMWinn #TheWinningLeadershipCompany
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Transcript:
[Music]
0:05[Applause] hello and welcome to today’s episode of authentic achievements where it’s my
0:11absolute Delight to be joined by my good friend Sherry win Sherry welcome Hey I’m
0:16so happy to be here with you oh I’m so looking forward to this we always have such fun in our conversations and I know
0:23that this is going to be just like that and always so jam-packed with Insight but before we get stuck in and carried
0:30away as we are known to do let me introduce you more formally to the people watching so Sher stepped into the
0:37world as a leader first in sports where she attained the highest level possible in athletics the Olympics she led
0:44college basketball programs for 23 years where she won a national championship and a CEO of the winning leadership
0:51company she’s delivered over 3,900 hours of leadership programs where she’s
0:56developed Olympic level leaders Sher spoken to audiences as large as 14,000
1:02and has spoken for companies such as Dell MacDonald’s and Adobe she’s spoken in the Gile uh Stadium airplane hangers
1:10baseball diamonds and too many Hol Hotel convention centers to mention organizations such as Dell Adobe
1:18MacDonald’s and a host of multi-million and billion dollar companies invest in sher’s teaching each year because of the
1:24impact that she has and I know from every conversation we’ve ever had that investment is well worthwhile because
1:31you always have such great Insight but what a journey what and what an amazing
1:37amount you’ve accomplished already can you tell us a little bit about your journey so
1:43far well I think that I think people always want to know about the Olympic Games and so we’ll start there right I
1:48won’t start from the date of conception so we’ll skip all that we’ll go to the assume that
1:54happened uh so you know people often ask like you know how did you get there and I think what I know is that at the age
2:02of seven I actually said I’m going to do that like I watched it on Olympic Games I watch it on TV with my family and they
2:07were so excited they were cheering and I said well that’s what I want to do right I want to be there where my parents love
2:14me like they are loving these people on television right now this is what I want to do and the next day I was like okay
2:20I’m gonna do jumping jacks because this is all I knew I’m gonna do jumping jacks I’m gonna do some push-ups and sit-ups and I started training at the age of
2:26seven for this journey and along the way of course you hit obstacles and
2:32challenges and all those kind of things but because I had dreamed about it so long and I had seen it like I had
2:39imagined it I had imagined walking into the stadium I had imagined being a part of the USA team that it you know it came
2:46true so I I really believe in that you know when you imagine something until it
2:51seems like it’s real that it is real it becomes reality and uh I was fortunate
2:57enough to play in 1984 and 1988 in the Olympic Games and then I played a sport called handball which in
3:03the United States people don’t really play handball right it’s not they think it’s like racketball I’m like no it’s team handball it’s it’s like soccer
3:09using the hands or water pullo and land and so when I got done there was no place to coach handball so I went back
3:17to my original sport which is basketball and that’s how I coached uh in college for 23 years until I came into you know
3:26I decided it after 23 years I knew that there was more that I wanted to give so even though I was teaching and coaching
3:33my players much more than basketball right because basketball’s great but literally how many of my players were
3:39going to play past their four years in college such small percentage so I decided that I wanted to embark on this
3:45other thing of uh doing motivational speaking and then doing leadership training and Executive coaching and so
3:53it kind of all just because it’s all the same like it’s when you train the mind which is consistent and whatever you’re
3:58going to do you have to first Trend your mind and get your heart aligned with it visualize it and then come into full
4:04belief with it then that’s when things evolve and you’re able to actually live your dreams oh I I love that you I was only
4:12saying to my my friends boy the other day who was berating colic she was using her imagination
4:18oh that’s so childish and I was like it isn’t I said never get rid of your imagination I said’s into golf I said
4:24you know all of those big golfers I said they win the game here before they win the game here
4:30and so you so go to got to harness that and I love that like you you just embody
4:35that in everything that you do and and that brings me to to my question so
4:40you’ve written Five Books five I mean not they say there’s a book in all of us but you know clearly
4:47you had a few more which clearly clearly is your favorite and why
4:54although the last book that I wrote uh winning leadership seven secrets to being a truly powerful leader and the reason I love that is because I
5:00interviewed 200 leaders across the United States and got their insights
5:05like I you know was first of all lovely to chat with each one of them like it was
5:11such a pleasure and a joy entertaining engaging and then getting their secrets
5:18along with that and so you know really hearing for not Theory it’s people
5:23living leadership right now that was you know a phenomenal Journey for me to
5:30spend the time with them and hopefully the same Journey for them I can’t I can’t speak for them but I did maintain
5:37some really some lifelong friendships from that as well I mean I have people that I meet with on a regular basis like
5:42once a month from that interview process that we’re now uh friends and we share you know our
5:49secrets of you know our misery our secrets or misery of our Journeys together so it’s it was really and it’s
5:55a great book it’s packed jam-packed full of information I only for like you know leaders who are coming into the moment
6:01but for leaders who have been there for 25 years it is a great book I had the privilege of um reading it and and it is
6:10it’s definitely worth picking up it’s one of those books that for me every time I go back to it I find us something
6:17different it’s a it’s a another nugget in there that you’re like oh that always seems to just match with what I need at
6:24that moment and I think we sometimes you should be super super proud and I think it’s because you
6:31you’ve encapsulated so many people’s lived experience so it’s not Theory it’s
6:38not um it’s not opinion it is based on
6:43201 because yourself included um people’s lived experience of actually
6:49how this happens in reality how you respond um when it’s authentically going
6:56on when it’s right here right now not when we have the luxury of being able to
7:02plan for a potential um scenario and that must have been I can imagine why
7:08you’ve ended up with some you know some lifelong friendships because when people share their story with you you get such
7:16a depth of connection don’t you right well I think one of the things that I asked people and I and I was I was
7:23surprised but not surprised by the answer so I ask what’s the biggest challenge that you’ve ever faced and I
7:28didn’t personally a profession I just ask what’s the biggest challenge that you’ve ever faced and over 80% of the
7:34people that I asked said myself myself and I was like you know the magic like you know it and so um that made me
7:42really happy to know that there’s so many people out there who understand look it’s not the thing out there that’s
7:47killing me like it’s not the thing out there that’s stopping me it’s me and so if I get past me if I’m able to find the
7:55answers through me then the obstacle abute will disappear so I was really
8:01happy in fact the fir first chapter is called the winning factor and that’s what it is it’s about the ability to be
8:06self-aware oh I love that and it’s true isn’t it you know I remember one of my uh most enlightening but equally my most
8:16um frustrating probably is the kindest word I can come up with moments was when
8:21I realized that everything that has happened is as a result of me so I have been my biggest obstacle and therefore I
8:28was the thing I needed to get over and whilst that was very liberating it was
8:33also it was also hard to give away that
8:38comfort blanket of being able to put the blame somewhere else you know I I found
8:44a quote which for me I I love which is I’m not the I’m not the victim of my um
8:50circumstance I’m the product of my choice and I think I’d been the victim of my circumstance for so long and that
8:57journey to becoming a product of your choice and realizing in everything that happened I had a choice didn’t always
9:04make the right one who always makes the right one right
9:10but but I think this you know when we say we didn’t make the right choice I think that every choice that we make can
9:15be the very choice that we needed to make right so it didn’t feel like a good choice and when you look back you’re
9:21like oh my gosh I can’t believe I did that but at the same time that opportunity that allows us to learn from it to move forward from it so it was the
9:29right choice we just didn’t we just didn’t know it because we had to go through the pain of living it yeah to
9:36get the outcome that we needed right so so because I read a book once and it just said whatever choice you make is
9:42the right one and I thought well that’s a great way to look at it you know looking at it like oh I was so stupid I
9:48was so dumb I can’t believe I did that just to know that every choice you make is the right one because it’s going to put you on the right track to you know
9:53to the opportunity that you need if you are willing to stand in it and learn
9:58from it like otherwise you just get bitter and you get mad you get angry and you’re like for the rest of your life you’re going to tell the story about how
10:04this happened to you and you know it was unfair and I can’t believe this person did this to me and this is you know w w
10:09w and of course you know we all have done that before which keeps us living
10:16in the same experience and then we can’t move move past it and so we get to tell more stories of the same kind of
10:22experience because we just attract more of it in don’t we and I think it’s that um you know I always say to to um
10:29Scarlet you know everything’s about choice we make a choice we make one that doesn’t serve us beauty of choice make a
10:35different one so don’t hold on to the one you made go serve me anymore I’m
10:40going to make going to make a new one and I think you know if life’s taught me anything it’s that everything in it is a
10:45lesson a blessing or both so in those moments where I’m not feeling blessed I
10:51look for the lesson and that’s where the blessing is always hiding in the as you
10:56as you said it’s the growth opportunity it’s the learning it’s the what are we going to know as a result of this that
11:02we would never have known if we’d not made that choice no matter how bad that choice felt in those moments when we
11:09want to label ourselves don’t we as like really yeah that’s that’s what you
11:15chose well and and it’s true I mean but it doesn’t serve us well to label ourselves there right and we we do
11:21stupid or dumb or ignorant or whatever we want to call ourselves other you know you know worst names and that keeps us
11:28in the past it keeps us stuck in the story and then it predicts our future because if we’re calling ourselves
11:34stupid then we can’t get to the Future because we’re going to live the past over and over again but when we choose
11:40and like you said it’s a choice you’re teaching a daughter such wonderful things once we get to it a choice then
11:46we get to choose what we want to feel about it and we get to choose what we Le want to learn about it and we get to choose what we call a win from it and
11:54you know I I get so excited when I look back in my past I see like the things that I would have labeled you know
11:59really bad like tragedy it’s a tragedy um because the worst thing that ever
12:05happened to me also happens to be the best thing right so you look back you’re like well you know I endured seven years
12:12of chronic pain where I couldn’t sit stand or walk without pain and I couldn’t go to a movie theater because I couldn’t sit long enough to watch the
12:18movie and I couldn’t you know walk through a grocery store long enough to buy groceries and at the time it was
12:24horrific right it was terrible and of course I labeled it all that I was very angry person but I want to look back that was
12:31the EV that was the beginning of the evolution right that was the beginning of my Evolution to understand choices
12:37and to understand that you know our response to the event equals the outcome and to understand like what real
12:43humility was what real empathy was and some of those things I mean it was it was the it was the direction that led me
12:49down the path of and I’m not going to claim I’m 100% there of unconditional
12:55self-love right led me down that path I love that and and you’re right I think
13:02any of us can ever say that we’re 100% unconditional self-love but that’s the goal isn’t it that’s what we’re that’s
13:10what we’re aiming to towards and and you know I know from our previous conversations sometimes it’s that
13:16catching yourself in those moments where you’re not demonstrating self love and then making a different Choice going
13:22that’s okay I don’t need to you know before I i’ I’d catch myself in those moments then I’d wallow in it for a
13:28little bit longer little or i’ hair shirt myself for the fact that I had dared to get it wrong
13:36and not give myself self love whereas now I just go no I’m
13:43human I didn’t recently I did this Kim this is kind of funny so I was uh I flew
13:50you know across the United States to Maryland so I’m from Montana so Maryland’s on the other side of the
13:55country from us and uh so I flew in I got in about midnight next morning I get
14:01up to go to do a gig right to do a speaking presentation I get there I meet the event manager talk to the event
14:06manager I meet the people are coming in talked to them had the mic check and all stuff give the presentation people like
14:12oh that’s a great presentation finish the presentation they’re all like that was wonderful love you leave drive back
14:17to the airport and I realize the next morning I gave them the wrong
14:24presentation oh no so so the first thing I did literally
14:31was laugh like that’s the first thing I did I recognized I was like Wow because nobody said anything like nobody in the
14:36audience said anything the event director didn’t say anything and I was like that was really kind of dumb that
14:42was really a bad mistake and so then I tried to make it right so I immediately you know text the uh event manager and
14:48said hey I just realized I gave you the wrong speech it’s not what you pay me to do I’m happy to make some you know what how how can we make this right and you
14:55know uh followed that up with a email same thing and they’re like oh we just loved you it was great and and then so
15:02you know I Saidi give you a free webinar like let me at least do that but I
15:07didn’t I didn’t in the past I would have beat myself up like literally I would
15:12have never forgiven myself it would have been like three days and I still been beating myself up for the mistake that I made IID try to figure out why I made it
15:19and then beating myself up some more and what was the most amazing for me was I gave myself Grace like I immediately
15:25just said look you know you did this you you were
15:30working on this other speech for Saturday so that was a Thursday you were thinking about Saturday you weren’t
15:36thinking about Thursday and they loved it so it’s okay you know and you tried to make it right
15:42and you admitted it because they might not have ever said anything to me but I was like no I got I go at least go back
15:48and say I did this um but that ability to self forgive that ability to say look
15:53I’m human and as a human we’re going to make mistakes and it’s not the mistake that’s
16:00so important it’s how fast you recover from it so sitting in it was it going to
16:05make me better beating myself up over it was not going to make me better I mean taking some action toward you know what
16:11can I do to make this right is obviously the right thing to do but but just the ability not to beat myself up that
16:19freedom of moving past a mistake is one of the best things you can do for
16:25yourself I mean really it truly is and I was so happy that I laughed I mean the
16:30my first response was laughter rather than beat myself up and that’s so good because that’s such a shift isn’t it
16:36from from being in that place where you know your first response is like how can you berate yourself in a way that you
16:42would never berate another human being ever in the in the history of the world and I think you know I I know how
16:48brilliant you are at at speaking and I’m sure they probably didn’t even notice it was the wrong speech because they got
16:54value from from the speech that you gave and that’s what they that’s what they bought into um but the fact that
17:01actually you went back and said but it wasn’t the right one and actually let me let me make it right it speaks Real
17:08Testament to your values and to what you want to bring because you could just look at it and go they may never tell me
17:14and clearly you know they thought I was Ace and they were you know they were happy with it maybe they’ll pay me next
17:19year to give them the speech I should have done but the fact that you didn’t you stepped in and went do you know what
17:26actually I I got it wrong and me let me make it right and you know I say to scholar all the time it’s never the
17:32mistake that defines us it’s what we do with the mistake and that’s where that’s
17:37where we get to make a better choice as long as we as long as we own
17:43it so and that brings me on to your speaking because you’ve spoken to like
17:49so many people to so many audiences and had such impact around the globe what
17:55would you say is the number one takeaway that you want want people to have when
18:00they hear you speak I think what we’ve been talking about really uh you know one of my favorite speeches is called unleash the
18:06winner within you and uh one of the pieces of that speech is the two most um
18:14important words that you can ever say are the words I am because whatever you say whatever you say after those words
18:20become your truth right and you know we don’t understand and people don’t
18:25understand how that thoughts are things you think becomes your reality it’s
18:30becomes what you live and the way that we we just don’t even we’re not mindful
18:35enough of that we’re not mindful of the way that we treat treats ourselves so if we just
18:42understood that thought you know those thoughts are things and that the
18:47whatever we say after the words I am and I don’t mean out loud like it’s the words the internal words that we use
18:53sentence when we say things like I’m not smart enough I’m not pretty enough I’m not whatever we say right how many can
18:59we say I’m not talented enough I’m not thin enough I’m not you know um whatever
19:04we say whatever whatever we say and I’m not you know good enough is our favorite thing I’m just not good enough well
19:10those becomes Our Truth and so really whatever in almost every speech I give somehow that’s woven in maybe said
19:17differently but it’s woven in because when we get to the truth of the matter is that what we say to ourself really
19:23counts and what we say to ourself is what we live and if you don’t like what you’re living living then your choice is
19:30to change how you’re thinking and when you change your thoughts you change your life right so I just think that’s such a
19:36powerful awareness for people and many people don’t even know what they’re
19:42doing to themselves they have no idea what they’re doing themselves and I know that you have a story about that about
19:47looking in the mirror right to say things and I think it’s it’s true you know I I spent many
19:55many years where I didn’t even go beyond the definition of just I am not I am not
20:00enough I am not enough I didn’t you could add anything to that I am not pretty enough I was like I’ll just
20:06bundle it all in to one and I’m just not I’m just not enough in any capacity and
20:13that led me to be an innate people pleaser where actually I ended up losing
20:19myself um because I just yeah I just didn’t get it and for me and I’m super
20:24grateful to for the privilege of having my little girl um but she was my Ure Eureka moment um so when I was she was
20:33N9 months old and I found a lump and thought I might not survive long enough to give her all of the wisdom and
20:41whether it was wisdom but all of the all the things I’ve learned through my lived experience um and I went to write the
20:48letter you know the the letter to pour all of that out and why do you even start that letter because I had no idea
20:56where to start that letter and I remember going up with this blank sheet of paper that been glaring at me for at
21:01least an hour and a half with my I’m you know my not enough was in full swing I
21:06can’t even write anything on this piece of paper um and I looked at her little face and I and she was fast asleep
21:13dreaming and I remember saying in that moment if I survive this I will do
21:18whatever it takes to understand what I’m doing to myself to make sure that I undo
21:25that because children don’t learn by what we say what they learn by what we do and how we are and who we are and I
21:32realized that unless I learned the introspection to fix what I was saying
21:39about myself I was actually going to teach her to say it about
21:44herself it was like the world stopped I couldn’t be responsible for that level
21:50of harm to this little Earth Angel that have been gifted the privilege of of
21:56guiding um through her life and and so you know it sent me on a seven and a
22:01half year journey of self-discovery and and you meeting amazing people like you
22:06that helped me to really understand that you we’ve got to fix it in here first we
22:12we’ve got to be kind to ourselves and demonstrate that selflove to enable us
22:18to be kinder to others because you know somebody said to me once can you your
22:24kindness is almost sickening I like sorry about that mean like you do anything for anybody I went but not for
22:30myself not for myself and now you know now I have to look in the mirror um you
22:36know I’m I’m a woman I put mascara on I’ve yet to meet a woman that knows how to do that without actually looking at
22:42themselves in the mirror so I know at least once a day I’m G to have to do that um and so now I look at it and go
22:48is is can I find something that I’m grateful for about the woman in the
22:54mirror yep and and that’s like been for me personing that really helped me on on
23:00that journey and that’s come from great people like you sharing the power of the I am know you I am and if it’s not
23:07serving you rewrite it because we are the author of our life aren’t we
23:13absolutely and it’s funny because you said you know unknowingly what parents give to their give their children and I
23:19don’t think there’s a ton of parents and there are some right but I don’t think there’s a ton of parents who
23:25intentionally feed their children bad things like they don’t intentionally do it and they do it so I was recently like
23:33my mom’s 85 recently went to go visit her and so we’re talking and she says I
23:39want to give you $2,000 I said Mom I don’t need it like I’m good like I’m really really good and she goes no no
23:45you need you need this $2,000 because you need to get your teeth whitened
23:51because you shouldn’t be on stage with your teeth that color and so I was like
23:56oh and I don’t say anything back to her I said said I’m thinking oh this is that not good enough yeah right this is that
24:03not good enough thing and how many times did she feed me that as a child and how many ways did I learn that she didn’t
24:09mean it that way she meant it as a gift like on giving something like for my heart but what she said is you’re not
24:18good enough as you are you to go fix this I was like oh wow wow and so I was
24:26thinking you know no wonder I struggled with that no wonder for years and years and years that this message had come
24:33through in many different forms in many different ways and you know as from love
24:38right from Love from concern from whatever it’s masqueraded with but I was
24:44just like wow so no wonder was so hard because I’d heard it so many times I had believed it and became a belief of mine
24:51and then I had to learn to to you know turn that around and so what I said to her was just really simple I go Mom
24:57thank you so much for offering me the $2,000 what I’ll do with it is I’ll put it in a money market for you and when
25:02you need it I I’ll be happy to give it back so I didn’t I didn’t even play into any of that right whereas if I hadn’t
25:09done the work like you talked about the work you get you know that you did for you and the work I’ve done on me i’ would have got mad and angry and upset
25:16and you know set something back that I would later have regretted but I just know that she meant it well like her
25:24intention in in that was positive right even though the mess the back
25:30message was ter terrible but but that reminds me I mean that so resonates though across
25:36leadership isn’t it you the amount of people that I meet where you know when when you’re giving people feedback um
25:42the first thing that you do you give somebody constructive feedback is they start to defend what they were trying to
25:48do because they weren’t trying to get it wrong they weren’t trying to upset you or mess you up in the example of your M
25:54but that was their impact and you I’ve realized far too late in life I realize
26:00if I start by setting the intention with people first and go I think what you’re trying to do is be really kind I think
26:05what you’re trying to do is give me a gift from your heart I think you’re trying to do all of this which is
26:10brilliant and I love that and that’s amazing but can I talk to you a little bit about the impact you’re having because you’re not achieving
26:18that you know you’re way way over here in what we’re trying to do but but the
26:24good news is what you’re trying to do is the right thing and therefore we can we work on that with you but you therefore
26:30you don’t spend that waste of time where they’re trying to defend that they’re not a bad person that they weren’t trying to upset you that they weren’t
26:37trying to get it wrong that they weren’t trying to miss their Mark or you know whatever it is that you’ve given them
26:42it’s often in the as much as we need to reframe in our heads isn’t it it’s it’s how we reframe what we put out when
26:50we’re leading people right it’s so one of the things I love to say to people you know so my coaching clients and uh
26:55what I’m doing uh you know seminars and webinars I’ll say no if people knew better they’d do better so when they’re
27:03coming at you a certain way it’s literally they don’t know better they don’t like it’s kind of what you were
27:09just saying right there is they don’t know better if they had a better way of doing it they would have done it already and so it’s their unawareness and of
27:16whatever is going on they just don’t have the awareness that there’s a better way to do that they don’t have the awareness of that they don’t have the
27:23awareness of that how they sound or anything they’re doing and so your job as a leader is to help them grow into
27:29that like your job is to help them come into that awareness right and so you don’t have to be mean about it you don’t
27:35have to be ugly about it you don’t even have to get mad about it you just recognize look they don’t know better
27:41because if they knew better they wouldn’t approach it this way they would already approach it differently yeah I
27:46love that because we have blind spots for a reason don’t we we’re blind to them so unless somebody tells us what
27:52they are or we’re going to we’re going to carry on and I remember when I used to be in corporate leading big teams I
27:58to say to the teams when I first start off if I do something that’s really annoying or really irritating or even if
28:04it seems really obvious to everybody else that that that must be the impact
28:10it has just tell me anyway because I promise you it’s never my intention to do that so I’m probably blind to it even
28:17if a 5-year-old should be able to see that that behavior is going to result in that impact please do me the you do me
28:24the good grace of telling me what it is and give me an opportunity to make you
28:30to make the change um and because you start with that you then earn the right
28:36to be able to do the same back and and share with people you the same thing which is I don’t think this is what
28:41you’re trying to do but you need to know this is what’s happening as a result of
28:47the way you’re doing it so the beauty is we can now work together on how do you find a better way of doing it right and
28:53how do we grow that development and you that’s why people invest in in people like you and coming in and um giving
28:58those great speeches that are actually you know for me having seen you speak it’s about that actionable stuff great
29:06to have somebody who can engage us and entertain us and and we come out we’re stoked and we
29:13go and what do I do differently I’m not quite sure how
29:20I put that into my life how I put that into you what would that look like and
29:25sound like and feel like for me to do whereas when you speak you actually give
29:30them that and I wondered whether or I you’ve got so many success stories but I wondered if you wouldn’t mind sharing a
29:36success story from one of your clients that would kind of bring that to life how you’ve how that engagement really
29:43Alters how they are and the impacts that has for them well the first thing that comes to mind something most recent so I
29:49have a client that I’m working with so a coaching client and um a
29:54salesperson uh struggling to sell right struggling struggling struggling so you know we start off with just what I found
30:00to work is not for me to tell them what it is let them do through you know a lot of questioning let them come to that aha
30:07moment and so you know we’re talking about thought habits which I often talk about because I know thought habits lead
30:12to your actions and that lead you know it leads to your beliefs which lead to your actions which leads to your life that’s the life you’re living it’s all
30:18living because of a thought habit that you have and so we’re having this discussion he says to me I think I’m self-sabotaging I said oh
30:26of course like of course you are like what we do to ourselves it’s not just you it’s like everybody we all do that
30:31and so I said in what ways do you think you’re doing that and he’s like I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know why I’m doing what I’m doing but you know I I
30:38don’t know so then he calls me and he’s like all excited he said can do you have a minut I said sure sure sure sure he
30:45goes I know what it is I said well what is it he goes well he goes when I was young I did some
30:51really bad things I said okay and I said when’s the last time you did one of
30:57these bad things and goes oh decades I said decades he said decades he said so
31:02I don’t feel like I deserve you know to to win these Sals I don’t feel like I deserve I said decades
31:09he’s like yeah I said DEC I’m like decades let’s get to the decades
31:14part you know I said if you notice I didn’t ask you what you did and he goes yeah I said I don’t care I because the
31:20guy that I’m talking to now is not that guy you’re talking about that was and you can’t live in your past to get what
31:27you want in the present you have to let go of the past especially if the past wasn’t serving you well I said so you’re
31:33not that guy I said tell me about the guy you are today he goes oh I’m humble and I’m kind and I’m empathetic and I’ll give people to share off my back and I
31:39said yeah exactly so let’s let go of that because that’s not serving you and
31:45so he did I mean he he was like you don’t care I said no I don’t care I don’t even care what it was because it doesn’t make any difference to me well
31:51because he understood what the problem was like he understood he was self-sabotaging he understood why he was self-sabotaging he was able to let that
31:58go and then he’s literally he just did a he just did a cell for a sixf figure
32:04cell so think about that right about what that enabled him to do and so you
32:11know we if we understand it’s us we K quit looking at other things and we just
32:16get it’s us and we understand that what is it that I believe that’s holding me
32:21against the thing that I want and if I just change the belief then the thing that I want gets I mean just gets a nor
32:28right it just becomes bigger and bigger because I can step into it but you can’t you can’t you can’t live what you want
32:36you can’t get what you want until you live it so you have to live it inside you have to live it in your mind you have to live it in your heart before you
32:41can actually like get it and so that’s what people do backwards right they don’t live it first they don’t live as
32:47if it’s they deserve it and they’re worthy of it and then that they you know they should feel this way they should
32:52have these great things and so they’re just trying to get something they don’t believe in it just doesn’t work
32:58yeah yeah well you’re blocking that you’re blocking that energy aren you kind of go I’m going to say this but
33:05yeah I really mean it it’s almost the um you know I I sometimes see it with people it’s they kind of get out of jail
33:11free card in case it doesn’t actually come true so it’s like I want this and I but just on the inside I’m at least
33:17going to tell and I was definitely guilty of this where you know I’d go for things I’d be like you
33:23know yeah I I believe I can get this I believe I can deserve it but on the ins side I’m just telling myself you know if
33:29only they knew I wouldn’t get there feeling which was my way of kind of balancing the scales in case it didn’t
33:35happen it’s like it’s never going to happen is it you’re actually pulling the scales away from you you’re you’re you
33:41know you’re setting that apart but I love that that kind of whole shift and and we do don’t we hold on to things
33:46that probably nobody else can even remember and you’re like did you apologize for it did you say you were
33:53sorry well let it go how much of your what percentage of your life have you
33:58lived differently from that percentage where you know you did things that
34:04you’re not so that you’re not so proud of so maybe you’ve given back enough now that you can go okay I’m GNA put that
34:10down it’s a bit heavy I don’t like it and and I’m gonna I’m gonna move forward
34:16and do things do things that do serve me which I think sometimes I don’t if you
34:22if you see this as well sometimes that feel that can feel very selfish I’m gonna look to do things that serve me um
34:30but actually the piece and and you talk about this so eloquently is I’m going to
34:35look to do things that serve me because it will enable me to serve others better because I can’t serve others
34:43wholeheartedly until I find the things that best serve me and and that you that
34:49that for me was a real Eureka moment when I got to that it was like it feels really selfish it makes me really
34:55uncomfortable that’s that’s the whole thing they’ll kill me you know that we’re taught like you’re selfish a bad word but you can’t give what you don’t
35:02have you can’t give it so if you don’t have love for yourself then you’re you’re judging other people all the time
35:08right because what you’re really doing is judging you for not being that person you wanted to be so now you’re you’re
35:13just throwing that everywhere else on everybody else but when you when you have like
35:20humility then you can give it when you have love you can give it when you have good communication skills you can give
35:25it but if you haven’t invested in yourself there’s no possibility of ever giving it away yeah possibility because
35:32we’re Limited in what we can give and so people like my mom right love her like
35:37my mom she’s trying to give me love right it doesn’t that way it
35:44doesn’t show up that way she’s trying but because and know and I’m just saying this because I know my mother she
35:49doesn’t love herself and never has yeah yeah so it’s been her you know been her
35:55challenge to love herself and so now she’s just putting that on to me because she doesn’t know a better way to do it
36:02yeah and so you can have Grace like I said I I’m not I was never mad at her because I totally understood her the
36:08only Reon I understood her is because I understood myself like the only way you can do that is through all this work that you do and so the more you give to
36:13yourself then more you can give to others and that’s the greatest gift that we can give right yeah yeah it’s it’s so
36:20it is so true you’ve got to do that that Journey back and you know I I say say to my little girl the time if people don’t
36:26hurt us on purpose they’re actually not even considering us at all they’re
36:31dealing with their own pain and we’re just natural damage and then what we do is we try and bring them into our pain
36:38and make them deal with it but they they’re not responsible for our happiness we’re responsible for our happiness and and to your point with
36:44with your mom she’s trying to give love the best way she knows how but she’s never done the bit of work to give their
36:52love so they have a discoloration of what that Love’s going to look like and
36:57therefore you know that’s how it that’s how it goes out in the world isn’t it it’s that yeah I I um I read a bit of um
37:06I think it was Florence skle Shin’s book and she talks now about there’s a monastery in um India and there they
37:14don’t say good morning to each other ever um the way they introduce themselves when they you know their
37:20greeting is I salute the Divinity in you and they see the Divinity the goodness
37:26in in everything and everybody despite the fact that it is you in the middle of in the middle of nowhere
37:32surrounded by wild animals none of them ever get hurt because they don’t see the bad they see the good in everything and
37:38everybody and I was like I really I really like that so now when I find myself in those moments of I’m getting
37:44frustrated with with things I remind I say in my head over and over I salute
37:49the Divinity you I salute the Divinity in you and because I recognize it’s not your fault that this is how far you’ve
37:55been able to do the self-reflect ction right and therefore I’m going to give
38:00grace to the fact that you’re doing the best you can with how far you’ve come
38:05right difference right and every leader if you could imagine a place where leaders leaders were living that that
38:12belief system right so so you know what would happen is there people want would
38:17want to stay there there people want to they want to you know you talk about you know retention they don’t want to go
38:23anywhere else why they want to go anywhere else how does it how good does it feel to be there it’s to leave something where you feel good you know
38:30so I was just talking to a guy the other day um it’s a guy I’m interviewing for my next book and he said he just sent
38:37his team to Florida for a one week vacation his whole team like he rewarded
38:42them with a onewe vacation because he said look they’ve worked hard they they met all their quotas they did what they
38:48were supposed to do and this is what they deserve well imagine if if leaders Wen if they saw that and they wanted to
38:55celebrate people and they celebrate people because they celebrate themselves right they can see the good other people because they see the good themselves and
39:01so imagine that team they they love they love working where they work they love you know working for home they they
39:08can’t wait to get back to work some more because it’s a joy to be there that’s the difference and so it’s really about
39:15it’s not just necessarily about the things that you do as much as who you are right so that so so when you show up
39:22that way because people are always asking me about how do you you know get retention higher how do you get engagement higher how do you double your
39:28productivity I’m like it starts with your leadership yeah yeah like it really starts there because if those people
39:33show up that way you have people who want to be there people who want to work people who are motivated to work right
39:39people enjoy coming to work and so you don’t have people that are sitting on Sunday and going I don’t want to go to
39:45work I have to go to work I to go to work I shouldn’t go to work you don’t have that they’re eager to go back into
39:50and passionate about it and so you know I think that the work comes
39:55and so the the companies that do that hire like people like you like me to hire people like us to come in and we
40:01we’re not just working about the business we want to say who are you let’s examine who you are and why what
40:08you’re doing is you know helping your team or are there things you’re doing that you could better do they would help
40:14you show up differently to them and that will change everything that’s involved
40:19in your business it’s it’s so true and and it actually just you know I I think for too
40:25many years we we’ve we’ve hidden behind uh things that we’ve been taught that actually are just wrong you know like I
40:32I grew up you know cut my teeth in in corporate for you through the 90s and
40:37and the early 2000s and yeah it was like keep you keep your home life and your work life separate you leave your
40:43problems at the door and say you can’t because you go where you go so they come with you because your head go your
40:50thoughts go where where you go so actually we need to be able to learn how to hold the space for people to to kind
40:57of be you get through whatever they’re getting through and you we we also we all have heard that sticks and stones
41:03break our bones but names will never hurt us and look at the rise of mental health challenges we’ve got as a result
41:08of the fact words hurt and the words that hurt us the most are the ones we
41:13say to ourselves and because we talk to ourselves in a way that we would never dream of talking to another human being
41:21no matter how angry we can be as a human being we always turn that anger inward
41:27ourselves at a at a greater multiplication don’t we so I think being able to help people learn how to change
41:37some of that thinking how to realize that actually you know I I learned to
41:42lead you’ve got to bring your whole self right all of it whats and all and you
41:49and channel it appropriately to to you know be authentically who you are
41:56because that’s going to be what people will you know will buy into and that’s going to be what affects change not only
42:03across your business and your team and and your organization but also it it kind of goes into your rest of your life
42:10as well doesn’t it just makes everything elevated right and that’s what I think
42:15there the power of leadership you know when I look at leadership and I think you know the Ribble effect the multiplier effect because if you have a
42:21great leader and then they impact their team which goes back and impact their family which goes and impact the
42:27community right and so when you have that going on I mean think of the the
42:34incredible positive influence that you’re the ripple effect that you’re creating it’s just amazing what can
42:42happen as a result of having a good leader you know it’s just talk about the company or the business but it filters
42:47down into people’s you know into people’s lives so when I was coaching I used to have players that you know I
42:52teach them all kinds of things because I knew basketball was you know they’re not going to dribble the ball after they leave like they were done they’re going
42:58to go on with their lives and so you know people that now contact me and say Coach man I’m so glad you talked about
43:03controllable factors or so glad that you taught us conflict resolution I’m so glad you taught us like you know how to
43:09have um uh you know how to be an assertive Communicator I’m so glad that like they because it impacted them
43:16forever and it changed their relationships with the people their families now that’s something right
43:22that’s something that’s why I think that leadership is the key um you know to making our countryes better because you
43:28know we can’t sit around and wait for a government to do it that’s a long that’s going to be a long wait it’s it’s it’s
43:35true I I agree and I think every one of us is a leader of somebody because we’re
43:41a leader of ourselves first and if we can learn those great leadership skills and Lead ourselves better then that
43:48ripple effect is gonna is going to be what what blossoms out isn’t it and helps us to collectively lead our
43:56society in a better way Sher I could chat to you all day as you know because
44:02I always love our conversations they’re always so packed with Insight but I’m very conscious of time you’ve shared so
44:08much value and insight already but if there were one parting piece of advice
44:14that you could share with us what would it be well I would say to I would say to you that you know understand this is a
44:20lifelong journey right and so enjoy the journey and also know that you’re probably not going to get it all done
44:26like there’s always another layer to learn and so investing in like yourself by reading books or doing meditation or
44:32having a coach or a mentor I mean really invest in yourself because that helps your it helps your journey along the way
44:38and it helps you give that kind of self-love that you need so that you can laugh when you make a big mistake and
44:44you can just you know give yourself Grace and and then you know go forward from that point so it’s just really
44:50investing in you like know that you’re worthy of investment and however that investment looks I love that and while
44:57we’re talking about investment you have um been really really kind and offered a
45:03free 50 minute Discovery call for anybody listening or watching this that wants to be able to experience how you
45:11can help them to really change that mindset and get onto the winning mindset
45:16which I am so so super grateful for you offering and for anybody out there
45:22listening and watching I promise you take the opportunity you will not regret
45:27it I have the absolute privilege of um calling this lady my friend and being
45:32able to connect with her very regularly and it is always a source of joy of
45:39insight and of growth so Sher thank you so very much for sharing that with the
45:45audience today and thank you so very much for sharing that with me so consistently my
45:52friend until next time take care