Authentic Achievements With Special Guest Brian Bogert
Brian Bogert’s Unique Coaching Philosophy
Brian Bogert’s coaching philosophy is not just about self-discovery; it’s about transformation. Unlike conventional coaches who emphasise actionable steps and strategies, Brian believes true transformation begins with understanding oneself at a core level. His methodology encourages individuals to delve into their authentic selves, fostering a profound connection as the foundation for personal and professional growth. This approach has inspired many and can inspire you, too.
Transforming Wealth and Success
In today’s fast-paced world, many people equate wealth with financial success. However, Brian redefines wealth, highlighting the importance of balance across various life domains. According to Brian, true wealth encompasses:
- Time: Valuing and effectively managing time to create a fulfilling life.
- Relationships: Building and nurturing meaningful connections with others.
- Health: Prioritising physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
Brian’s coaching techniques aim to help his clients achieve holistic wealth, enabling them to lead more balanced and enriched lives.
Profound Insights and Transformative Techniques
During the episode, Brian shares profound insights and transformative techniques that have helped countless individuals and businesses unlock their true potential. His wisdom is a beacon for anyone looking to navigate the complexities of modern life with authenticity and purpose. Key takeaways from this episode include:
- The Importance of Self-Discovery: Understanding who you are forms the basis of effective personal and professional development.
- Connecting with Your Authentic Self: Techniques to foster a deep connection with your true self, leading to genuine happiness and fulfilment.
- Redefining Wealth: Embracing a holistic view of wealth that includes time, relationships, health, and financial success.
- Inspiring Stories of Transformation: Real-life examples from Brian’s extensive coaching career demonstrate his approach’s power.
Connect with Brian Bogert
To delve deeper into Brian Bogert’s philosophy and access his resources, connect with him through the following channels:
- Personal Website: brianbogert.com
- Join our Coaching Community for Free for 30 Days: https://go.brianbogert.com/rfcc
- Facebook: Bogert Brian
- Instagram: @bogertbrian
- LinkedIn: Brian Bogert
- YouTube: Brian Bogert’s Channel
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Transcript:
0:06[Applause] hello and welcome to this episode of authentic achievements where I’m
0:11delighted to be joined by The Fabulous Brian bogur Brian welcome a man whenever
0:18fabulous gets thrown in front of my name I know it’s going to be a good day so I am excited to be here with you it’s going to be fun we had a great time
0:24pre-show already so let’s rock and roll man oh I’m so looking forward to this but before we get stuck in because I’m
0:29I’m sure we could probably chat for hours let me share with our viewers and listeners a little bit more about you so
0:35Brian is a business leader keynote speaker and a human behavior and performance coach he’s the heart surgeon
0:42without a blade which I love um and he doesn’t start out aside with what you need to do he starts inside with who you
0:49are in a world that’s disconnected Brian’s revolutionizing how organizations and and entrepreneurs
0:55deeply connect with their authentic selves to achieve the highest levels of wealth in monetary riches time
1:01relationships and health I just love that and I’m so excited to have you on the show because it so clearly links
1:07with everything that we’re doing here which is how do you connect to who you are authentically but can you start
1:13Brian by sharing with us a little bit about your journey so far yeah um you know I start by often
1:20saying that I’m a husband and father first right and I I say that because I think it’s important to know who I am and I also have said for a lot of years
1:27that it’s the only thing binary in my world but I call attention to that because my actions were not always congruent and if we go back and we look
1:35at some of my early years and some of the situations that took place it starts to make sense why see when I was seven I
1:41was run over by a truck and my left arm was completely severed from my body and it was reattached and I had 24 surgeries
1:48in those years coming afterwards now I realized like that’s a very shock and
1:53awe element to my story right like I didn’t give any detail I didn’t give any context as to what happened or why
2:00but what I can bring attention to is the fact that the more I’ve told my story the more I realize how unique it is
2:06however The more I’ve told my story the more I also realize how unique every single one of our stories is and every
2:12single one of you listening right now also has extremely unique stories and so what becomes important is that we learn
2:18to pause long enough to become aware of the lessons we can extract from our stories so that we can become intentional in how we can apply those in
2:24our lives moving forward and there’s a lot of embedded lessons through my story and my journey but why I start there is
2:31because the shock and awe of this story is what I used to believe was my transformation story that it’s like my
2:37my origin story like my everything and you know the truth of the matter which I know we’ll unpack through the course of this discussion is is that it’s really
2:43the story that created the majority of the trash from my past that I pushed through and pushed down for years which caused me to show up unconsciously
2:50reacting in moments that had nothing to do with what was right in front of me and creating this ripple effect of damage in my world that I didn’t see and
2:57couldn’t identify as the shame and the anger that it really was tied to pain that was within and so I’m a big
3:03believer today and and what I’m doing today full-time is I’m helping a lot of heart centered impact makers identify
3:10and remove the waste they don’t even know exists within their world right I’ve got this concept of identifying and taking out the trash or Transforming Our
3:16waste into wealth because I believe that when our trash can become treasure waste ceases and wealth is insured and that’s
3:23going to give us the ability to live in the lives that we want oh wow I love that and I think it’s just so many bits
3:30I mean I I totally completely agree with you that we’ve all got a unique story it’s one of the reasons why the logo for
3:37the show is a fingerprint because we are all as unique as our fingerprints um and it was really trying to kind of get
3:43people to connect with that but I think you you’re so right one of the things if life’s taught me anything is that it
3:48only makes sense in the rear view mirror it’s only when you’ve gone through it and you look back that you can go ah all
3:55right that’s what I was supposed to learn from that or that’s the you know that’s the gift it was it was made to
4:00give me um and it’s changing that perspective isn’t it and you also touched on the fact that you know we we
4:06carry it into our future and um you know one of the things that I I’ve personally
4:12um struggled with and and now learned from is we don’t respond to what’s happening we respond to what we’ve made
4:17it mean and what we’ve made it mean is always a link back to something we’ve carried from our past if we’ve not taken
4:23out the trash as you say and we don’t we don’t consciously know that um and and
4:29therefore it could can color our future can’t it so how do you help people to
4:34identify that trash and then either take it out or to your point turn it into
4:39treasure yeah you know I think it’s important to acknowledge that there are some Universal truths with all of us as
4:46humans right you hit on them if with if I had permission I’d love to like do a slight Nuance word word shift for you
4:53right you said like that people don’t respond right because in in these moments because they’re responding to
4:58what they’ve like made made the meaning of it or however you said that what I think is interesting is is it’s actually
5:04the reaction that is happening there versus the response the response is once we understand it then we don’t have to
5:10be subject to it anymore right we can start patterns and so that’s just a slight nuance and that reaction versus
5:17response that I’m like yes your spot on but it’s also important to understand that it’s these moments that we
5:22react and we don’t really understand why okay now you some understanding of The
5:27Human Experience to begin the understanding of how people disconnect themselves but I’ll give an a story an
5:33example of something that showed up in my house in my marriage right that I was unconscious to for a long time my wife
5:39would ask me a question as simple as this hey honey what do you want to do with the kids this
5:44weekend but my shame and my anger filter would cause me to hear it this way hey honey you’ve not done enough to be a
5:49good husband and father here recently so what are you need to make up for it this weekend then all of a sudden all of my cells in my body react I’m feeling the
5:55need to like defend my chest Puffs I feel the wave of heat over my body right my heart’s racing and what do I do I
6:01rattle off the 10 things I’ve done in the last few days to show her I’m a good husband and father now I’ve created damage and that she asked me right how
6:11often in life are people in situations where they feel like they’re never seen they’re never understood they’re never
6:16in a position where their intent is able to be captured and therefore they need to justify defend and protect all these
6:23other Unwritten narratives that are being associated with whatever they’re feeling in that moment right this is how
6:29we all show up this all happens and why because we’re the brightest most authentic burning light we’re ever going to be and then parents teachers coaches
6:36employers start saying you should do this you shouldn’t do this you should want this you shouldn’t want this you should do this you shouldn’t do this shoulds a shame based word because it
6:42implies whoever you are and whatever you want it’s not good enough right and so then what happens we start to protect ourselves because when we don’t feel
6:48safe when we don’t feel seen when we don’t feel understood we protect ourselves okay now I’m going to bring
6:54you to a really real experience in my own life because this is a moment that created the path that now lets me see
6:59highlight it for others when I came out of the hospital I had a teddy bear between my arm because my bone needed to
7:04heal at 90 degrees so inevitably I’m cute and I’ve always had this like magnetism about me so people always
7:10would come up and be like hey what happened to you expecting me to be like man I jumped off the jungle gym or I flew off the swing or whatever right but
7:16instead I’d look them dead pan in the eye and say I was run over by a truck and my left arm was torn off now 99% of
7:21people did the following two things after they pick their job off the floor they would pause and they’d turn to my
7:28parents for validation which told me what they didn’t believe me right they didn’t believe my truth
7:35that I’m living and existing in in my own skin I’m wearing it and yet they don’t believe what I’m telling it’s too audacious coming from a seven-year-old
7:41boy can’t be real right and after my parents would validate that it was real
7:46the next thing they would do is they would start to view me through their lens of what they’d be capable of in my situation immediately limiting me
7:53telling me all the things I was and wasn’t ever going to be able to do again right and so how did I protect myself from that well if I’m never going to be
7:59seen understood if I’m not going to be believed if my truth isn’t understood then well then I’m just going to go mentally tough and set my mindset and
8:05I’m going to go Crush things and shut off everything else yeah right like so many of us learned to do see I’m a high
8:12performer that learned to receive love validation and connection through performance which meant it was contingent upon what I did but here’s
8:18the truth and then I’ll finish this part of the answer because it’s the beginning part of of our reality we all seek and
8:24desire four things we all want to feel safe we all want to feel protected and
8:29those are not the same thing we all want to feel seen and understood and we all want to feel connected but the second we
8:36walk into an environment we don’t feel safe we don’t feel protected again we protect ourselves so it could be a networking event where everybody’s
8:42handing out business cards and everyone wants something from you instead of for you could be going back to your family’s house for the holidays right you know
8:49that your aunt your dad and your grandma are all going to look at you a certain way make you feel a certain way and weeks ahead of time you start dreading
8:54it right it doesn’t matter what it is but the second that we don’t feel completely seen understood connected and
9:00free there’s a layer of guard Now using our analogy you grab those 35 gallon
9:05black trash bags and you open one up flat you pick it up and you hold it in front of you like armor it’s what it is it’s armor so then the question becomes
9:12how could you properly expect anyone anyone in your life that you love that you care about that they want to see you
9:18to understand you how could you ever properly expect anybody to see who you are what you’re willing to do what you’re not willing to do your heart your
9:24intent your soul your desire your boundaries your value your worth delivered through an opaque force field
9:29and assuming that they’re not carrying their own that’s going to further dilute the message right and so the truth is
9:35the second we protect ourselves we guarantee we won’t get the two things we want most which is to be seen and understood and to be connected at the
9:42deepest level but the other thing is is that the second we protect ourselves we disconnect ourselves from who we are and
9:48what we want in this world and so anybody who feels that they aren’t seen understood their intent isn’t good they
9:54are used to being the only one in a room that they walk into they could be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone I promise you that
10:01you’ve got some trash there and it’s showing up in armor and it’s disconnecting you and so this is where it comes to reality the world will never
10:08judge you based on your intent the world will always judge you based on your actions so if your intent and your
10:13actions are not aligned then how will the world ever be able to see you oh I love that that is it’s it’s so
10:21true I mean one of the things i’ I’ve always said is I can’t choose how people behave towards me but I can choose my
10:27response and my response says everything about me that’s the only bit I can own um and I love that whole part about yeah
10:33we do when when we feel like we need to defend ourselves very often we go on the attack because it’s the best form of
10:39Defense so our tone changes our language changes and then all of a sudden we’re
10:44kind of yeah we kind of having a reaction I remember um years ago realizing people don’t hurt us on
10:50purpose they’re dealing with their own pain and the reality is they don’t think about us we’re just collateral damage so
10:56when somebody hurts us and we start to try and lay in how we’ve made how they’ve made us feel and not
11:03surprisingly we get a really bad reaction because they’re like I’m doing my own pain and now you’ve made it all about you I just want that’s great all
11:09about me so it is all back isn’t it to that um being being comfortable to to be
11:15seen to be heard to and and I I loved when you shared about the shot I was having this conversation with somebody
11:21just the other week about unsed feedback H and I said for me one of the things that I’ve learned is anytime anybody
11:27gives me any feedback that starts with what I should do it’s about them not about me because believed I if they
11:34believed that I had the power to change they’d tell me what I could do and theyd trust that I would have the the
11:42confidence the Courage the strength to make the choice when they tell me what I should do they’re trying to take my
11:48power and that’s not their job um so I I leave the emotion where it stands at
11:53their door because it’s usually their pain they’re going through isn’t it is that have you found something similar I
11:59think it’s completely true but I also think it’s unconscious bias in a lot of situations it may not necessarily translate as like I’m a hurt person and
12:06I’m hurting other people by limiting them right like most people are unconscious to that but to your point exactly like we don’t have to accept the
12:12word should and and the reality of it is is that again it’s a shame based word
12:18but how many times do people even wake up and start shoting on themselves right I should have gotten up earlier I should have eaten less last night I should have
12:24worked out yesterday right but here’s the truth the second we say the word should ourselves we also lower our
12:30frequency into the shame category and if you understand the human frequency scale shame is the lowest registerable
12:35frequency that exists right Hawkins mapped it from zero to 700 it’s at 20
12:4090% of the world’s between 100 and 150 which is anger and fear courage is at 400 self-actualization 700 so if you
12:47feel and you don’t want to feel like garbage you don’t want to feel like trash waking up in the morning and shooting on yourself is one of the first
12:54biggest issues but the other side of this is I even loved the word choice that you said because I not found a
12:59situation yet where you can’t replace the word should with could or would what could I do differently next time what
13:05would I do if the situation was different right and so it is it’s it’s a limiting word it doesn’t open us to
13:12what’s possible but this is also to the point that you made we know the saying hurt people hurt people yeah right at
13:19the end of the day like I’ve shifted that completely because I learned really early that I wasn’t going to get stuck
13:25by the things that had happened to me but I was going to get moved by what I could do with them I also believe that moved people move people and we have the
13:32ability to open folks as well I love that and it is so true isn’t it it’s
13:37that it’s that once we shift into the you know what do we want you I chat to
13:42so many people I’m so very grateful and and lucky for it but one of the things I often find is people are very clear on
13:47what they don’t want but they’re not really clear on what you all they set
13:53are in the negative I don’t want to be overweight I don’t want to be old I don’t want to go gray I don’t want to it’s like okay what do you want because
14:00your subconscious brain doesn’t have a sense of humor so while you’re telling it what you don’t want I guarantee it’s
14:06taking you there at speed and we to we need to change that don’t we we need to
14:12reset that St now so it’s actually going in the direction we want um if you found
14:17similar if you found people are good at knowing what they don’t want but not so oh absolutely absolutely absolutely it’s
14:25it’s one of those things that it it happens all the time you know you ask somebody what their purpose is what they
14:31what lights them up what’s what are they doing to fulfill themselves right now and a a lot of times they know what it’s not versus what it is but I think even
14:38to the point that you made before right on this concept of like feedback right here’s the reality feedback is
14:43permission based yeah so us utilizing the word should or not like we’re so conditioned to just willingly receive
14:50feedback whether we want it or not whether it aligns with us or not and often it starts writing and rewriting
14:56our own narratives for ourselves right so many the people that I work with later in life sometimes we get down to a
15:02very basic element around a belief system or or a saying that they have and I’m like whose voice is that yeah yeah
15:10right and and and at first the reaction is you know I had a client that was telling me about a situation and an interaction with his wife and he talks
15:16about these things and he’s like he gets on he’s like I don’t understand this isn’t me this isn’t how I treat her blah blah blah and I said whose voice is that
15:23and he immediately was like well it’s my voice well if it’s your voice then it’s not congruent with what you just told me
15:28that this is who you are and this isn’t what it is and so it either is your voice and you need to figure out how to like repair that and align yourself or
15:34it’s not your voice and you need to give Credence to where it came from and he immediately goes oh crap my older
15:40brother that’s my older brother’s voice right and it’s like even that he didn’t
15:45even know that it wasn’t his own voice so to your point on not knowing what we want how many times do people not even
15:51realize that the voices in their heads are not even their own yeah right most people believe it as if it’s absolute
15:57like oh man I’m hearing all things but that man you’re never going to amount to this you’re never going to find happiness you’re never going to find joy
16:03you shouldn’t want those nice things you shouldn’t want to have success in life all that is not coming from in US
16:09it doesn’t we’re not born with that right it’s conditioned into us over time
16:14till the point that we just accept it like it’s ours feedbacks permission based that’s why early on I asked hey do
16:20you mind if I give you a a slight nuance and shift right because if You’ said no I wouldn’t have said it yeah who who am
16:27I to give you feedback back when we just met each other oh I I love that and I must ad I’m I always do the same I was
16:35was sh with somebody the other day and I was like you I’ve been reflecting that we we had a we did a show on unsolicited
16:40feedback um and we came off the show and I was like do you mind can I I’ve been thinking about it would it be okay to
16:47give you some feedback which I appreciate is unsolicited because I’ve been reflecting on the conversation that
16:52that we had and she came back and she was like you of course I’m always you always interested and then I that’s when
16:58I shared for these people that should all over you that’s about them not you and in my opinion actually if they can’t
17:04say could it’s not about you and and therefore something you could consider
17:09doing in the future is if somebody shs all over you is you could choose to
17:16leave that feedback at their door and just to consider I’m not going to tell you’ve got to do it I’m this is the
17:22right thing I’m just saying please consider it and she was like but that’s the perfect example of giving appropriate feedback as if you check for
17:29permission and then you gave me Choice with what I was going to what I was going to do with it and I think it’s
17:35that it is when when people take away our power isn’t it and I’ve got a little girl and you you’ve mentioned your
17:41you’re a father too one of the things I try really hard with her is to um
17:46distance her from the label that becomes attached to a particular thing so she
17:51may have made she may have made a silly choice but that doesn’t make her a silly person or she may have made but it’s a
17:58choice as the beauty of choice is the minute you’ve made one that doesn’t serve you you get to make a brand new
18:03one a brand new one um so you don’t have to you don’t have to keep repeating the
18:09same challenge you can go that didn’t work for me um actually I can do a something else because we we condition
18:16people so early don’t we we I don’t think we mean to do it in a damaging way but the results can be devastating to
18:23people’s longterm life can’t they I mean so legitimately the majority of the work
18:28I do the reason I have a job and I’m employed is because this has been happening for generations and it gets
18:34passed down right and so many of these things that I call trash from people’s past and I I want to give one disclaimer
18:39on this so that people can hear it the trash from your past is not your fault it just becomes your responsibility once
18:45you become aware of it or you start burying others in yours right so again we have to remove the shame and the blame from the situation because my wife
18:52and I traced our trash and our triggers back three generations wow trauma passes through the DNA yeah right so even if
18:59you aren’t exposed to certain things trauma can pass through the DNA that can show up in our nervous systems causing us to get activated into that fight
19:05flight Fawn or freeze right it’s all connected and so yes most of the work that I’m doing is happening in the first
19:12in the conditioning that’s taking place in people’s first seven to 14 years of life right I am working with a client
19:18right now who until she was 18 years old was in living in an active war zone and
19:25had never really given Credence to all of the trauma that was absorbed in that
19:30experience and therefore she’s only recently connected the fact that she exists often so tight so tightly wound
19:37and lives and exists in fear and it was only through a set of prompted questions that I gave her to activate in a couple
19:44of moments that she was able to start to create these pairings but the answer is yes people layer opinions unconsciously
19:51and I would suggest largely with good intent yeah yeah right like I have
19:56amazing parents and I can say because I I’m not mad at them I’m not upset with them but I also grew up in a household
20:03where there was one right way to do everything which also me that I questioned everything I’ve done for a
20:09huge part of my life because I didn’t want to get it wrong right because when there’s only one right way to do
20:14anything and there’s no opportunity for creativity or self-expression or anything else then what do we default to
20:21what’s going to keep us safe yeah and so it makes sense for each and every one of us why we end up this
20:28way but the problem is is that most people don’t want to look Inward and experience the pain that’s going to be
20:34associated with unpacking it to understand it and actually Escape it and this is what connects to one of our core
20:40lessons which is embracing pain to avoid suffering like at the end of the day most people are like Brian I don’t
20:46really want to flip open my lid and look inside my can I don’t want to feel like garbage I don’t want to feel like trash I don’t want to sit and unpack that
20:51stuff that sounds like a lot of work and then it’s like okay well then what’s important to you so I’ll just ask you
20:57what what’s really important to you in your world like if you had to name three to five things that just are the top of the list what what is most important to
21:03you so I can honestly say the most important thing in my world is Scarlet and she is the driver for me to have
21:08gone and flipped the lid and looked at my trash because I realized if I didn’t I was going to make it her trash um and
21:15so lots of other things important to me but she’s my she’s my number one for doing everything so that’s number one
21:21what else what else give me like two other things that are really important to you um so so two other things uh one is
21:28is living in the moment so being present I spent far too long worrying about my
21:34past and panicking about my future that I missed the here and now um and now one of the things so I did a um scholet and
21:40I have got a family mission statement that we did together last year um and that’s really important to me that this
21:46is this is our mantra for how we live our life so our family mission statement is to live a life of passionate
21:51curiosity and to pass our thoughts words and deeds through the lenses of is it is it kind is it honest does it add value
21:59and if we can’t say yes to those three we should think again and make a different choice and and iose for me
22:06that’s really important is that I live by that value set because yeah that
22:11that’s come from lots of years of going inward that I didn’t go inward I I’ll be
22:17really honest I didn’t go inward until after I had my little girl um and I had
22:23when she was nine months old I I had a health scare that I wasn’t certain I was going to survive to see her um grow up
22:31and I remember going to write um going to write the letter to tell her all the things i’ wanted to tell her if I if I
22:37survived and I didn’t really know know where to start that letter if I spr I mean where did you start that letter um
22:42so I crept up into a room for for inspiration and it hit me and literally
22:48it was like the world stopped that if I didn’t fix the voice in my head it would
22:54become the voice in her head yeah and I remember in that moment saying I you know if you give me the chance to
23:00survive this I will do whatever it takes I’ll go deep I’ll I’ll go and look at the dirty parts that I don’t want to and
23:07I will find a way to clear them out so that that’s not the Legacy I leave lead
23:12her so I guess for me that’s that’s been you the last seven years that’s been my absolute that’s super powerful that’s
23:17super powerful but what I’m gonna say is like I I’m the same way as you my kids are a huge reason for all of the
23:24Investments I’ve made in the last 10 to 11 years right they were the greatest reflections of they’ve been some of my
23:29greatest coaches they are my motivation to continue to improve as a father and a husband but what I also really want to
23:35call attention to is like what you had said right and you just even in the second part of that answer gave exactly
23:41what I was trying to highlight right because often times when you actually ask somebody hey what if you dropped
23:47your wedding ring in the trash can would you dig in and get it right in this case it’s like the ability to have a life of
23:55meaning with your daughter and to not actually pass pass on the generational patterns that you had right like you had
24:01a chance to dig into your can and unpack that because the relationship with your daughter could have been in the trash
24:08can yeah right had you passed this on right so I ask it’s like hey do you put that if you drop your house keys in in a
24:14dumpster if you have a family heirloom that gets dropped in to a dump would you dig in and get it and the answer almost
24:21always for these physical items or these really representative things for people is of course I would well then why
24:27wouldn’t you dig through your own m yuck inside to clear it out and identify and remove what no longer serves you and oh
24:33by the way here’s the other truth most of your treasure is actually buried in and formed behind all that
24:40trash pressure so to free all of your unique abilities to actually live and exist and have the impact in this world
24:47to make you feel the ways that you want to feel it’s all buried in there all of it you just have to do the work and you
24:54don’t have to sit in it longer than you need to but yes this is absolutely a
25:00huge pattern and it unfortunately keeps most people trapped for the majority of the Decades of their
25:05lives it’s it’s so true you the one thing I always remind myself of is diamonds are just stones that did really
25:12well under pressure so if we can just deal with the pressure then we’ll find
25:17our Diamond we’ll find the thing that we’re here to shine because I think we’re all we’ve all got a a special
25:24light to shine we’ve just got to find it and then we’ve got to have theage shine it you’re exactly right here’s the flip
25:32side to to the statement that you made there are many people who again because they learned to receive love validation
25:37and connection have lived under other people’s pressure for the majority of their lives and they believe that that’s
25:42the only way that they can survive and so yes I agree I’m gonna highlight it
25:48and specifically say that can you handle the pressure of actually doing the work to unpack what’s inside because that’s
25:54the pressure I want you to deal with and they use the external pressure to actually shape and refine your actions
26:00so that you no longer remain trapped there right because there is this belief system by many people and I fit into it
26:06as well that I was always going to deserve and needed to live in pain or there was no purpose and I’m sitting
26:12here today from a physical perspective to help you understand I dealt with daily physical pain for 31 years I’m 16
26:19months with zero physical pain okay so why do I sit here and say this because I
26:25believed that I was never gonna see a day in my life without pain and it was because of oh man I need to embrace the
26:31pain I’m a practitioner of pain the more I understand pain the better right so again these same things that can make us
26:37diamonds can also keep us trapped so make sure you understand the perspective oh I love that because I think I think
26:43it’s true you the perspective is I always say to people a context is King you without the context really makes
26:49sense um because we live in that world of polarity don’t we for every up there’s a down for every left there’s a right right without the context we could
26:57be viewing something from entirely the wrong Viewpoint and it’s actually doing us harm not help but we don’t totally we
27:04don’t see that because we’re you know it’s our lived belief I I remember many years ago um being asked by a coach to
27:11go and ask people that I you know I trusted and cared about um to say one or two things that they thought were my
27:16strengths and one or two ways where I got in my own way um and they came back almost unanimously with my strengths
27:23being brave and fearless and I was like don’t get don’t get that bra I live I let point in my life I lived in fear
27:29every day fear of being found out fear of being a failure fear of fear of life in general and I was like you can’t have
27:35to explain it to me I don’t get bra saw the tough is you were I don’t get Brave and fearless and they were like you will
27:41literally up sticks and move somewhere where you know nobody for a job you’re not convinced you can do and I was like
27:46yeah we think that’s Brave and fearless went oh I’ve spent all these years thinking you thought I was flighting a
27:52little bit stupid but I wonder how life would be if I borrowed your labels instead of my labels and see you know
28:00see what what happens when we change that perspective because we Chang the label and and it was a very superficial
28:06way of doing it and it was before I went in and dug in but it helped me see that actually there is a way of not living
28:13the past that you’ve had and leaving the bits that no longer serve you behind
28:19yeah and taking the lesson into your future yeah I totally agree with you I
28:24mean that’s that’s the the whole concept ingrained in almost all of what we teach right many people are judging people
28:30based on what they’ve done versus what they do but the issue is that most people judge themselves based on what
28:36they’ve done versus what they do as well and so you know again we’ve got to remove that shame and blame and help
28:42people start to come back into the present moment which is the other area that you’ve learned to celebrate in your life which is the only thing Real by the
28:49way it’s the only truth that exists is what’s happening right now it’s it’s so true it’s like the old saying isn’t it
28:55that you know the past no longer need you and the uh the future is that’s why the only thing you’ve got is right now
29:01it’s why it’s called the present and I always remind myself of that um if you got that on
29:08behind I had to I had I had I had to show this yeah yeah totally all right as
29:14soon as you said that I was like yeah I know exactly what quote you’re talking about live by that because it’s it’s true you know I spent so much of my life
29:21either um berating myself for my past or panicking about my future and realizing
29:27I was missing the right now I was Miss and I guess that um for me really became
29:34apparent when I had my little girl because they grow so fast so all of you
29:40realize how much you’re missing because you know sometimes I’d like to go please stop
29:45growing it’s it’s going too quickly I’m not getting enough but but it really helped me to realize actually where do I
29:51want to spend my time yeah I don’t want SP my focus and I know from the work you’re doing that’s what you’re helping
29:57people do isn’t it is say do you want to spend your time worrying about all this stuff from your past or fearing about your future or do you want to get really
30:04present to the right now yeah and live the best version of yourself well yeah there is a lot to
30:10that and I would also say that even the lived experience of what people’s stated
30:16values and where they actually spend their time right and that exercise where
30:21I’ll just ask people to say like what’s most important like what do you value most like what are the core ethics
30:26values beliefs that choose to live by or what are the things or people that are priority right and how often they’ll
30:34outline all of that and then I say okay now let’s go look at your calendar where is all of that time being
30:41invested or spent right because the other thing is that that’s something that everyone always says they want more
30:48of right but if you’re spending your time in these lowf frequency energy spaces that don’t feed your soul that
30:54don’t lift you up that don’t Advance you for forward in fact they keep you stuck or keep you pulling backwards then are
31:00you really living in alignment with your values right and are you actually allowing yourself to experience the
31:06present that’s right in front of you if you can be in the present moment and it’s it’s just really interesting to see
31:13how when this is brought into people’s awareness they start to realize that again well man I’ve been saying my
31:19intent over here is that my family is first and my friends are second and my health is third but my actions have
31:25actually shown that my business is first and my health is is second my friends are third and my family is fourth right
31:31and and and so it’s it it really is difficult for people to again escape the past and escape the future but it’s also
31:39difficult for them to even consciously see how are they living in the now when they have those chances and I can tell
31:45you for a fact that you can bend and manipulate time when you can live in the
31:52present moment you have more access to Flow State you have more access to abundance you have more access to the connections that are right in front of
31:58you right and you have the ability to truly feel the momentum of what’s
32:04possible the other side of this is is that just like a trash bag if we held it
32:09out in front of us for 10 minutes it’s going to get heavier the longer we hold it it’s going to get stinkier the longer
32:15that it’s in there and pushed down but this is the other side of this look at all of the capacity that you’re
32:21unconsciously zapping to carry around all that weight that you have your entire life and just because it’s
32:27heavy doesn’t mean you can’t handle it but that’s not the point do you need to handle it yeah right if if
32:33our trash gets heavier and stinkier the longer we carry it well the trash from our past does the same thing inside so
32:38if you want more energy you want more time you want more Focus you want more capacity again clear it out and learn to
32:44live in the present because the infinite becomes possible now I love that I love
32:49that and it’s it’s so true isn’t it you know sometimes we carry stuff around with us just to prove that we can handle
32:55it that we’re strong enough but it’s like it’s heavy put it down it’s heavy and it doesn’t
33:00serve you there’s no you know there there’s no prize for being the person who carries around the most rubbish from
33:06from their past and for me that that took um that took a lot of digging into
33:11before I was willing to put it down because I think there was also an element
33:17of that was the bit of me I knew and so it was a little bit scary to put that
33:24down and learn to learn to get to know a new me the real me but but you know without the baggage that I could hide
33:31behind and um and utilize as my almost my G free jail card yeah it’s really my
33:39fault you know look at what life look at what life threw at me um but then I you go I I love a quote you have noticed but
33:45I came across one and I loved it which is I am not the victim of my circumstances I’m the product of my
33:52choices and that for me was an amazing one because it’s like yeah you get to choose and if the choice isn’t working
33:57choose again um because we are the author of our life aren’t we we are the ones that hold the pen so we can change
34:04that yeah I believe that uh we can choose the change we want or we can choose to change when we don’t want
34:10change right but the issue is and it goes back to the Core lesson that my dad taught me which is the point you’re making right now my dad always said no
34:17matter what guaranteed always in every single situation you always have a minimum of two choices yeah right you
34:23might be held up at gunpoint and your choice is to get shot or to hand over all your worldly POS possessions the
34:28point is it’s still your choice and the second you can step into that position of ownership and start to realize that
34:35like you have active influence and control in the choices that you make to generate the trajectory in the life that
34:41you want that you deserve that you’re capable of it will always come down to your choices and again that’s even the
34:48same thing with lived values right it’s a choice I’m choosing to spend and invest my time in different areas and
34:54places I’m choosing to remain unconscious to it I’m choosing to not do the work that’s actually going to set me
35:00and my family free right so just as active as you can be on the positive side of it those same choices because
35:08guess what if you do nothing you’re already making a choice yeah yeah well
35:14you’re choosing to keep the same thing aren’t you you’re choosing to it’s exactly and I think it is that yeah it’s
35:21it it’s it’s so you’re so powerful when you take the ownership for the things that are in your control and I’ve had
35:28I’ve had people over the past go but Kim you didn’t choose this you didn’t choose that I was like well I did I had a choice in every one of those if I go all
35:34the way back I didn’t have to go into that relationship I didn’t have to um go on that holiday I didn’t have you there
35:40was things I could have done differently um and even if I wouldn’t necessarily change those um I will to now change
35:48what I think as a result of what I’ve learned um because because I got the lesson from it and you for me for me um
35:55one of the things that life’s taught me is that everything in is a lesson a blessing or both so when I don’t feel
36:00blessed I go and look for the lesson and that’s exactly where the blessing is wrapped up in that lesson that piece of
36:06wisdom that you’ve learned right I could literally chat to you all day but I’m conscious I’m taking so much of your time if you could share one one piece of
36:16advice one one nugget that um you wish you’d known sooner what would it
36:22be yeah you know I’m actually going to give an exercise because I think that it is something that
36:28brings a lot of insight to people again to your point on people often know what things are not in terms of their purpose their power their potential um you know
36:36this is a place to really start to calibrate I want everybody who’s listening to create two lists okay on
36:42the first list I want you to write down all the people places sources of information and environments that leave you feeling uplifted that you feel full
36:49that you feel excited that you’re full of light and love that you could spend eight hours there and it feels like one because you’re in flow you can’t wait to
36:56get back to that place see those people do those things be in those environments right we all know what those feel like
37:02write them down with absolute Clarity everything in your life on the counter list I want you to write down all the people places sources of information and
37:08environments that leave you feeling defeated disconnected unworthy any low frequency energy and emotion control
37:14perfectionism shame scarcity anything that causes you to feel in that space I want you to actually be able to go there
37:20right the spots that you can’t imagine spending eight hours because after one you’re banging your head against the wall you do not want to see those people
37:27do those things things be in those environments ever again yet you continue to so here’s the reality I want you to
37:32spend more and more time intentionally on the positive side okay and I want you to do whatever you can on the bot on the
37:38other side to be able to either remove reduce or recycle and refine the
37:43relationships or situations that take place I understand situations where people can’t get rid of everything on the negative list but you can improve
37:50all of them and you can learn to set effective boundaries versus operating through armor and the more you listen to
37:57yourself on these two lists and the more you trust your energy that’s reflecting
38:03your experience the more you will live a life of meaning and the more you will live a life that’s authentic to who you
38:08are and connected to what your POS or your capabilities are oh right I love that and I’m only smiling because I
38:15often have shared over the years of like sitting down and doing your blueprint which is what all the things that bring
38:20you Joy and give you energy and what are all the things that take your joy and zap your energy and if you understand th
38:26those you can you can then help not see things through Rose tinted glasses but yours is
38:33much more detailed and in depth which is amazing and I know you’ve also so kindly
38:38shared an invitation um to join your coaching Community for free for 30 days
38:44um so if anyone wants to take um Brian up on that you can find him at brian.com
38:49I will make sure all of the details um to get in touch with Brian are in the show notes below including how to
38:56connect with you on Facebook Instagram LinkedIn YouTube as well as your personal um website Brian it’s been an
39:03absolute absolute Delight um I I’ve learned so much I’m looking forward to our next conversation but thank you for
39:10sharing such invaluable Insight with us well thank you for creating a platform
39:16for me to be able to come and pour some good into the world and thank you for having me my friend bless you take care
39:22[Music]
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