Authentic Achievements with Special Guest Kyle McDowell
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Transcript:
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Kim-Adele Randall 00:00:07 Hello and welcome to today’s episode of Authentic Achievements, where it’s my absolute privilege to be joined by the fabulous Kyle McDowell. Kyle, welcome.
Kyle McDowell 00:00:17 Hey, Kim. Thank you for having me, man. I’m really excited to be here with you today.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:00:21 Oh, I’m super excited for this. And I know from our chat earlier it is going to be so much fun and packed with insight. But before we get stuck in, as I know we probably could and can chat all day, let me share with those of you listening and watching a little bit more about Kyle. So he is a former fortune one at fortune ten, executive turned inspirational speaker, bestselling author, and leadership coach. He’s on a quest to create cultures of excellence and reignite leaders passion and purpose. With nearly three decades of experience leading tens of thousands of employees at some of America’s biggest firms, Kyle’s philosophy is rooted in his trademarked principles, the Ten Weeds, which I can’t wait to dig into later on today. While today’s workforce is plagued with uncertainty and apathy, his strategy is simple begin with we.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:01:10 His mission is clear. Crush the deep rooted dysfunction so many organizations passively accept. And during his incredibly successful run in corporate America, his leadership legacy was born from delivering superior results, empowering leaders, and driving massive cultural transformation. His Wall Street Journal and USA today bestseller begin with we delves into the root causes of business dysfunction, offering a remedy through the ten We framework. So we also have within that ten week framework, which I’m going to dig into today. Kyle elevates leaders, sparks massive change within organizations. Adopting a mindset that prioritizes we over I and you over me. His insights have earned him invitations to speak at prestigious business, educational and nonprofit institutions, and his expertise has been featured in major national publications including The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, and Inc magazine. I mean, wow, what a journey. And I love the whole making it about we not I because so often in leadership you hear all about I or me, but not a huge amount about we. So Carl, tell us more about your journey and what got you here and what’s driving you next.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:02:28 Yeah.
Kyle McDowell 00:02:29 You know, Kim, I, I, and you alluded to a lot of it. And I’ll add a bit, about the journey, as you mentioned. You know, if I had written a book, ten years ago, it probably would have been titled begin with me or begin with I because I, you know, you mentioned that there’s this lack of of a we orientation inside of the corporate world. And I was that personified. So for the first 20 ish years of my career, I was that cliché, stereotypical leader. Banging my fist on the desk results at all costs. Don’t really care what’s going on outside of work. I only care about the results you can deliver for me. And if you can’t deliver those results, there was a very short leash and you’ll probably be asked to go do something else. So I was. And what a shame, because, you know, while I found myself in really, really massive leadership roles where I led tens of thousands of employees, ironically, with each passing year of my career, as the scope increased, so did my apathy for the environments that I was actually creating, which is a real it’s a real hard pill to swallow.
Kyle McDowell 00:03:38 So, you know that first 20 years or so, I was so maniacally focused on my own accolades, my own growth. You know, what’s my next bonus going to look like? What is this fancy title that I’ve been chasing and will continue to chase? And I came to a point where the the apathy became so strong in my in my I would almost call it disconnection from from the corporate world became such a palpable sense that I knew there had to be more to this existence. And, you know, I peeked my head up and looked around and, you know, I found myself surrounded by a lot of, yes men and women, people that would say what they thought I wanted to hear. And you know this, Kim, the more senior you become inside of an organization, the funnier your jokes get. The more time people want to spend with you, the more face time they’re chasing to get with you. And it just ultimately started to feel really hollow and inauthentic to me. And I came to this crossroad and I made myself, and I left.
Kyle McDowell 00:04:38 I got out of the corporate world. I really didn’t have much of a plan, but I knew that if I were to re-enter the fray, it would be under a different set of circumstances. I had to enter an organization in a team environment that would allow me to be the leader that I never had would allow me to lead in a way that I had never led. And and it will be careful what you wish. For a moment, I was given an opportunity to lead 15,000, really, really dedicated men and women in, what is I believe is still the largest health care enrollment function in the country, if not the world. And our responsibilities included enrolling people into the Affordable Care Act, as well as one 800 Medicare. And, I took the role with the understanding that there was a fair amount of dysfunction within the team. Lots of individual success, lots of functional success from here and there, but not really winning on the macro.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:05:38 Yeah.
Kyle McDowell 00:05:40 and I was warned that there was an opportunity for a bit of a transformation.
Kyle McDowell 00:05:44 So I took the role, but I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into. and Kim, the night before is probably 60 days into my stint with this company, the night before, I was to meet with the top 40 or 50 leaders of my newly inherited organization. I was in my hotel room, probably about midnight, and I was terrified. I had no idea what I was going to say to the next morning, but I knew there had to be some type of rallying cry. And for whatever reason, I realized if I were to take the stage and tell this group of very senior, very bright, very committed leaders, if I were to talk about what I was here to do and how I was going to help them on their journeys, and how I was going to make a big difference, my, my, my efforts would be for not because they had seen all that. Like so many of us, through our corporate journeys, we see the boss who comes in, who has all the answers, has the shiniest shoes, the press shirt, the most extensive vocabulary.
Kyle McDowell 00:06:36 And then we see how committed they are to their own excellence, not bringing excellence out of those around them. So that evening, really with no pre-planning, I had no idea that I’d be sitting here some two years later, no seven years later chatting with you. I created these principles. After a couple of hours in that hotel room, starting around midnight, I look back at my laptop and I had literally only had ten sentences in each of those sentences began and still do begin with the word we. And I’m not incredibly creative creative. So I have the ten weeks. I stepped out the next morning and shared these principles. And there were a couple of caveats with the team. I said, listen, guys, I will hold you accountable to these principles. Make no mistake about it, this is who we will be. And I felt like I could be really direct on that, because the very next sentence I offered was because I expect you sincerely and genuinely to hold me just as accountable. And I remember vividly, I even said, if I’m not living these principles every single day, every single interaction, you are all obliged to grab me by the ear and say, dude, you’re you’re being hypocrite.
Kyle McDowell 00:07:38 You’re not being the leader that you say you are. And what unfolded over the course of the next handful of years, was a, a transformation, the likes of which I have never, I had never seen before. I’ve seen it since then because I’ve used the same principles. Our business results improved unequivocally across the board and nearly every single measurable. But what was more important and more impactful to me was the impact that I saw watching bosses transform into leaders, watching people genuinely care about those around them, the collective success, and pouring their heart, soul and energy into those around them and their growth instead of being so inwardly focused. And I’ll and I’ll end this long soliloquy with kind of, I think, one objective proof point that talks that that I think illustrates the difference one can find when we lead with an eye orientation versus investing in everybody else. The first 20 ish years of my career, I’m left with maybe a handful, 3 or 4, maybe five people that I worked with became close with, you know, there were colleagues or direct reports or, you know, some, some type of relationship that I have managed to stay in touch with first 20 years, maybe five, the last ten years.
Kyle McDowell 00:08:52 That number is probably triple, including people that used to report to me in other organizations that we still have monthly one on ones to check in with each other, see how we’re doing, bounce leadership issues off of one another, talk about what’s challenging us in our roles. Talk about our next move bouncing career paths off of one another. So, you know, fast forward to that was 2017 when this journey started. Fast forward to today, 2024. I took those principles, wrote the book, begin with we, it’s become a bestseller on a number of platforms, and now I spend nearly every waking minute evangelizing the value and the profound impact of principle based leadership. But also the ten weeks, because not only have they changed my leadership journey, they’ve changed my personal life as well.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:09:36 Wow, amazing. I, I love that because I think it’s, you know, for me, when I, when I was leading for many years, I always felt like I was the, the outsider. I didn’t really quite fit in.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:09:48 Everyone else was very, very cool and very well pulled together, and I was like the hyperactive puppy dog that was like, come on then, what should we do? How do we get this? And, and it wasn’t until I got a little bit older that I realized that was my strength, that was my superpower, because we were in it together. The book stopped with me. I would absolutely take full accountability, but we could do it together and we could drive things forward. And therefore people actually had a voice and a choice. And when they did both of those, it really does superpower what they will deliver for you. You know, they will walk through fire to get things done. So I’d love to hear more about the ten weeds and what they are, because I know how impactful they will be when we give people permission to see themselves as part of the solution, and not just be given a task.
Kyle McDowell 00:10:43 Gosh, Kim, say that again. That’s so powerful. When we give people the ability to be part of the solution.
Kyle McDowell 00:10:48 Is that what you said?
Kim-Adele Randall 00:10:50 Okay, so when we give people permission to be part of the solution by way. We’re giving them permission to say you’re an equal part of this, your voice, your choice is equally important that we all do this. So, you know, true, as you said so eloquently, you know, you are asking them to hold you to account to the same level that you’re going to hold them to account. So you’re creating that, that lack of hierarchy that allows people to really be their very best. And for me, when, you know, I’ve seen that, in In Action and it’s amazing to see the city people really step in to their full potential because you are giving them. And we chat briefly about this before we came on, did we? You are, by giving them that, opportunity and that permission to be part of it. You’re giving them your belief that they are going to be successful and that they can trust in themselves. And that is so impactful.
Kyle McDowell 00:11:47 Well, and I think you’re touching on what what I would describe as as a leadership gap. And that was that’s something that I think I might use that terminology in a little bit of a different context than others. But throughout my journey, before I stumbled across principal based leadership in the ten weeks, because I don’t I didn’t create anything new, by the way, and we’ll walk through them if you like. But the principles are incredibly simple. I mean, there’s just so fundamental. But simple is not easy, especially when we’re talking about a big group of of of people, a team. but but the other component that it strikes me that that you’re, that you’re touching on is the difference between a boss and a leader. And it’s so cliche and everybody, you know, kind of opines on this, but but a boss manages things, manages tasks, manages inputs and outputs, whereas a leader does exactly what you said. And that’s why I was so taken by what you said. And that’s we give them permission to be a part of the solution.
Kyle McDowell 00:12:45 And it seems so fundamental, right? Of course, if you have a group of people, we have we have, you know, untold numbers of years, untold number of years of experience among us. We bring different perspectives, we bring different, data points, we bring different emotions and feelings, but we certainly bring different solutions. And to limit the number of solutions on the table to find the optimal outcome or the optimal environment or whatever it is that we’re chasing. I call it a culture of excellence to not include those that are most connected and closest to the work, especially those you serve externally. Your customers is just silly to me, and it took me many, many years to realize that. But the outcome and the impact we can have when we, when we when we embrace the collective strength of a team versus just one on one, let me muscle through this on my own is just so incredibly profound. And it’s I am just the only disappointment that I have is that it took me so long to find it.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:13:43 Yeah, but I think what you have to give yourself credit for is you did find it. And when finding it, you had the courage to run with it. Because I think often that the things that hold us back is, I’ve been like this all this time, and now to suddenly be different. Well, that’s a bit scary. And you mentioned in those ten weeks that, you know, they’re they’re really simple. And as you say, simple isn’t always easy. Simple also is really scary because if it’s too simple, then maybe anybody could do it. And therefore maybe I’m not as unique and I haven’t got as much value to add. And if you’ve grown up in corporate anywhere, corporate America, corporate, British, you know that that they’re driven on that fear of you not being unique enough. You’re not having enough to to be different. So being able to strip all of that away and go with the simple piece is a really courageous step. And I remember for for me, the first time I embraced mine was I suddenly went for this, this big job.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:14:43 So head of UK for a global organization. And I remember thinking, you know, this job is really big, and if I’m going to be successful at it, I’m going to have to be me. Because if I’m trying to be this well pulled together corporately, yes, I’m going to fail because there’s too much going on. And so I remember going into that final interview with the group HR director, and they sat there and the very last question was, Kim, if you could sum yourself up in a word, what would it be? And I thought for a moment and I went loud and they looked totally taken aback, and they went, I’m sorry, loud. And I said, yeah. And they said, that’s what you’re going with. So I looked at my watch and I went, okay, so you’ve known me for what, about 50 minutes? And she was like, yeah. I said, well, I said, do you think I’m loud? And she was like, actually, yes, this is great.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:15:35 In that case, it’s self-aware and it’s honest. I’ll stick with it. And she said, that’s what got you the job. You were the first person that didn’t say, I’m inspirational, I’m driven, I’m this.
Kyle McDowell 00:15:44 Blah, blah.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:15:46 Basically took something that could be seen as a real weakness and said, that’s how I’d sum myself up. I said, but some of that was being able to share with my team. Some think that, like with anything, an overplayed strength becomes a weakness and weakness becomes a strength. Sharing with them that the thing that I would send myself a pin can be my greatest gift. A big sales teams I do. Speaking can equally be my greatest downfall, because people don’t always want to be around somebody who’s loud. But that’s who I am and I understand it. That means I have to work with it and adapt. It allows people to have the space to share their greatest imperfection, which can become their strength or weakness.
Kyle McDowell 00:16:29 Kim, was there a was there a moment or or series of events because you just talked about a pretty significant transformation in your own journey, right? You were a bit nervous, if not scared, about this new opportunity.
Kyle McDowell 00:16:44 You realized something very similar to my to the pivot that I made. You realize something had to be different. How how did you have the wherewithal to know that, you know, if you wanted different results and different outcomes with this new role, you were going to have to lead a bit differently. Like what brought you to that, that threshold to make that decision.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:17:04 Oh great question. I think it was that piece that says, and I don’t know if this were the same for you. the platform was burning too much. What I had isn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to continue to pretend to be something that I wasn’t. And therefore, the fear of the unknown wasn’t as scary as the fear of what was known. Because the fear of what was known is that this will be how I live my life. And that’s not what I want to do. Yeah.
Kyle McDowell 00:17:36 And I can so relate to that. Yeah.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:17:38 Yeah, actually it was enough to go. What would be the worst that would happen if I really were me? I mean, you made me smile in some of the stories I got told.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:17:47 Yeah, I started out as a hairdresser and then went into corporate life and got told, you know, you haven’t got the gravitas or you haven’t got the vocabulary to meet the potential. Yeah. So I learned, I changed. I wore head to toe black navy if I was feeling colorful and I changed my vocabulary and I learnt all these words so that the board understood me, but the people that I was leading had no idea what I was talking about. Yeah, what’s the point? That was the point. Unless. Unless they understand it and they know what? They know what’s needed of them, and they know that you’re there to help them and to, you know, and to understand it and it and and in making the change and just accepting who I was and going, what’s the worst thing that happened? I go into this interview and I am who I am and they don’t like me. Yeah. Well, I’d rather find that out before I take the job and relocate hundreds of miles than after I’ve taken the job.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:18:45 And the only way I could give myself any confidence in that was to just be myself in that interview. Because being myself actually should be, should be relatively easy. But again, we have to give ourself that permission, as you did. And I mean, you took a massive step to go. I don’t want I want this, I’ve got an apathy. This but I don’t know what I don’t want what I don’t know what I do want, and I think, I don’t know if you’ve seen this yourself in your work, but that’s one of the biggest challenges I see for individuals and organisations is they know exactly what they don’t want. Yeah. but they’ve not got clarity on exactly what they do want. And so a lot of goals are set in the negative. A lot of expectations are set in the negative and therefore inadvertently we create a culture where negative is the goal.
Kyle McDowell 00:19:39 wow. That’s that’s powerful to me. So layered in what you just said, is an admission of inauthenticity the first part of your career?
Kim-Adele Randall 00:19:50 Yeah.
Kyle McDowell 00:19:50 And I’m. And I’m connecting the dots that that to the name of this show, which is so incredible, which is so cool to me in that, you know, you were, by most accounts, you were pretty successful leader, but you weren’t you? Yeah. And I and I think and I’m so drawn to that, because that’s, that’s, you know, looking back, that’s how I feel like. Yeah, I had results. I was very, you know, by most measurements, I was very successful, but I was I found myself unfulfilled. And it’s like, am I going to continue to, you know, am I going to continue another 2 or 3 decades being something and someone that I’m not, or is there a bigger purpose here? And I think that’s what a lot of us miss out on. Right? So if I’m if I’m a manager at a coffee shop, I have a, I have an opportunity to deliver massive impact. And I don’t mean revenue, I don’t mean CSat scores.
Kyle McDowell 00:20:46 I mean to those. And for those that you lead, if you choose to make a difference, if you choose to have an impact on someone else’s life, you don’t even have to have direct reports or be in a position of authority. You just you are you are in it for mankind at that point, which is, you know, an awful it’s a lofty statement. And I think sometimes when I go down this path, people think it’s a little woo woo and, and unrealistic. And I, and I just don’t accept that because you don’t have to be the CEO of a fortune ten company, lead tens of thousands of people to have an impact. You simply don’t. but it’s a choice, right? And it sounds like through your journey, you recognized. And by the way, I should. A bit of a side note here. I am always very curious how much of these transformations that that you’ve gone through that I have gone through and so many others are chasing. How much of that is born out of experience? That is just a product of age, because and I and I bring that up because I’m not naive.
Kyle McDowell 00:21:41 There are members of your audience, that I probably have a lot of years on and, and for and if I were that person in the audience hearing some guy who’s who is flirting with 50 talk about this transformation and how he stopped invested his investing his time and energy into his own growth and accolades and really, genuinely and authentically put that same level of energy into those around him. I would think he’s full of shit. I wouldn’t believe it. so I always wrestle with, you know, did my experiences bring me to this place where I needed to make a choice to be different? Or is it just age? And we realize that the number of years on this planet is finite. And what really matters most is the legacy that you are building. And I think a leadership legacy is a really fine one to chase. You know, two words that a lot of people don’t talk about together leadership, legacy. So I just feel like if, if, if, if you’re in a place where you’re, you know, by the way, we all I believe we all enter the workforce with a ton of optimism, energy.
Kyle McDowell 00:22:44 We want to do big things. We want to have an impact. We want to leave this place, maybe this company, maybe this team in a better place than we found it. But I think in your experience, which sounds very similar to mine, we lose that optimism, the energy and the desire to make an impact, and it’s up to us to find it. So I think as, as a leader of a of a team of one or a team of 15,000, I think it’s our responsibility to not only help deliver great results and keep it, you know, build a culture of excellence, but it’s also incumbent on us to try to have an impact, lift up others around us, help them on their journey, leave them in a better place than they started so they can look back at some point and say, man, Kyle really had an impact on my journey. I’m so grateful for that guy. To me, that is worth more than any paycheck I’ve ever gotten, and it helps me every single day become become the leader that I want to be seen as.
Kyle McDowell 00:23:40 And that’s someone who is really invested in others. And it’s cliche as it sounds, the rewards that come with that, including monetary, including career growth, including those fancy titles, they will dwarf the the impact and results you have as a solo show. It’s irrefutable. It just takes it takes the reps and it takes experience and it takes a commitment. And I think a lot of us don’t have that level of commitment earlier in our careers, because we’ve been taught that there is a better way in that way is to focus on ourselves.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:24:08 And yeah, garbage. No, I think that’s true. I think one of the other things, though, that’s true. And again, when I started really digging, digging into this and I was in my 30s, probably when I, when I started, you used to make me, I remember 50s now, so it’s taken me far to get to this stage. But, you know, it used to make me smile. I remember sitting in a in a in a meeting and they were they were having this massive debate.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:24:32 and they’ve been having this debate for a good 15 minutes. And I said, can I just ask a question? And they were like, yeah, so do we think we’re stupid as an organization? And they were I. Know I said, okay, do we think our customers are stupid then. And they said, well, what do you mean? And I said, well, we’ve just debated for 15 minutes about the declining sales in paper payslips. And then I think, yes, how have we chosen to pay our people well, electronically? And why is that? Well, it’s more environmentally friendly. It’s more economical. Okay. So it’s sensible choice. Why therefore are we so surprised that our customers have chosen to do the same? Why have we decided that we need to be different people at work than we are outside? Because we’re we? It’s like, you know, you said every one of us is somebody’s customer. Equally everybody. Every one of us is somebody’s friend or somebody’s sister or somebody’s brother.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:25:32 And this mother and father. We are who we are. How we make our decisions is the same at home as at work, because they’re based on our principles and our values. And yet we decide to stop thinking about the person we’re selling to, and we start thinking about what we want. So in the organization, the debate is about, well, they’re not buying enough. What do we need to do? And it’s I don’t know, the question isn’t that the question is what is the problem they’re trying to solve? And I remember once and I’m sure you could imagine the look on their face standing up in front of you in front of a town hall. And I was the UK head of sales and saying the very first thing you need to remember is nobody actually wants our product. And I paused for a moment to think to a quiet room and followed it with, let me be really clear. They don’t want it. They need it. So unless they were an accountant, they did not go into business to learn to do accounts, and we were an accounting software business.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:26:28 I said, we need to understand that they don’t want it, they need it. So they have to have accounts to be legally compliant. If not, they can’t trade, they can’t run their business. But we’re wasting our time creating a want in them that they’re never going to have because they don’t want it. They want to get the accounts done and get on with what they really want to do. So what you need to sell to them is if I address the need, you need legally compliant accounts that meet all of the requirements for, you know, for tax and all of those purposes. And I could do it in a third of the time that you do it. Now, how would you want to invest that time in your business? How many more sales you get that way because you’ve recognized putting yourself in their shoes. They don’t want it. They need it. We were thinking, we want more sales. We’re only going to buy stuff we want. Therefore we’ll we’ll drive them to get excited about random products, things like you can do lock tape.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:27:24 Who cares? Did you lock it? Yeah. You realize that actually every employee, every customer, every business partner, every regulator is a human being first. And they have their wants, needs and views and we try and meet them where they are. And I often say my greatest leadership lesson actually came from being a hairdresser. So being a hairdresser 30 odd years ago, they taught you to listen, to really understand what was important to the other person. Okay. To help me try to achieve it and to have them leave you feeling the very best version of themselves. And if we can do that in every interaction, we’ve made an impact, we’ve made a difference. And that little can be, can be as a leader, running an organisation, running a team. It can even be down to the I love Joe. At this point, we’re just doing it for humanity. One of the things I’ve been encouraging my little girl’s doing. She’s seven is you spot somebody, you go, oh, you look really nice today.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:28:25 Or, like, your hair looks lovely. And we never say it because, I mean, that would be awkward. We do, we do for you.
Kyle McDowell 00:28:32 Good for her, man. We need more. Yes. Good for you. Sorry. Sorry to cut you off, but that’s really. That’s really important.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:28:39 Yeah, but once you do that, you’re amazing. The ripple effect. And I did it with one lady on a train who’s six years ago. She looked like she was having a really bad day. And it was the commute to training, and I was like, this. I don’t know her that could choose to say nothing, but she’s gonna have a bad day. So I’m going to try and engage in conversation, have a chat. Six years on, we’re really good friends and we go out all the time. She’s like, I really needed to talk to you that day. Should I got a really big presentation and I was really stressing about it, and I said, I could see you were having you were going to have a bad day and you needed somebody to give you a positive to swap.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:29:10 So I didn’t give her a major positive. I just listened to her and then I and then played back. You know, what I’m hearing is you’ve really got this. You understand it? I don’t even work with you. But I understand that you’re trying to get across this message, this message and this message, am I right? Yeah. Well, then you’ve nailed it because you’ve got some random are on a train. It wouldn’t astonish you. So you’re going to go and you’re going to be awesome. so I think sometimes we forget that we have an impact everywhere we go and in every conversation we have. That’s why I love doing is actually making that intentional, making that done with focus and purpose and principle. and that then has such a ripple effect, isn’t it?
Kyle McDowell 00:29:53 Well, I think so. Man, there’s a lot to unpack there. First of all, what a really cool story. What a really cool story that you met a complete stranger. You could just read the energy on her face and you just volunteered and you got this.
Kyle McDowell 00:30:07 And six years later, you’re still in touch. Yeah, that’s. Dude, that is so cool. Good for you.
Kyle McDowell 00:30:13 Thank you.
Kyle McDowell 00:30:14 really, really cool. Not pandering, that is. I mean. How that must feel for you is I mean, there’s not a lot of better feelings than knowing that you’ve made that connection with someone, helped them along their journey, however small or large it could have been. That’s really cool. The you said something though, at the beginning of that story that really got my attention. It’s where I, I find myself spending a lot of energy, and that is this notion that the person I am outside of work is not the same as the person inside of work. And I think we could spend hours talking about why that is, you know, most environments, I think at the highest, most obvious level, most environments don’t don’t encourage individuality, they don’t encourage innovative or even provocative thinking. So we’ve all been taught, you know, get in line, stay in line, use the expansive vocabulary, you know, have the most pressed shirt, the shiny shoes, all these things.
Kyle McDowell 00:31:12 and I think that is the beginning of the filtering process that that really mutes our ability to be our best inside the workplace. I mean, to me, the most obvious example, Kim, and I’m not sure I would. I venture to guess there’s a similar phenomenon inside the UK. But and I know you’ve you’ve recognized this, but we have two different vocabularies there. There are the words and expressions that we use outside of work, and then we go to work and use very different ones. When is the last time you came home and asked your daughters or significant others how they did on their deliverables that day, right. Did you, did you did you mention circling back, putting their question in a parking lot and, and, swinging for the fences, you know, during the next conference, you didn’t write. Nobody talks like that outside of work. When’s the last time you came home and said, sweetheart, per our conversation, I need you to clean your room today. Nobody talks like that.
Kyle McDowell 00:32:14 So when? when the boss speaks in this way, a it’s an authentic because it’s not who they are. It’s nobody speaks like that. unless they’re in an environment where that, that type of vocabulary is, is rewarded and b, it sends the message to those that you lead that were different. Yeah. and I and I firmly believe and this is just something I think about a lot. Authenticity plus relatability equals trust. Yeah. So as a boss or a leader for my choice to be which of those two? It’s my choice. If I come to the office or virtual setting, whatever, and I’m leading my team and I am speaking in a way that I would not speak otherwise. Now, don’t get me wrong. You know, we’ve got to filter some words. We can’t be, you know, maybe it’s crass as we would be at home or other, right, I get that. but when my team hears me speak in 14 letter words and, Demise risks or threats or, you know, ugly situations that we’re trying to conquer.
Kyle McDowell 00:33:19 When I act as if those aren’t real and I speak in a way that’s not authentic, there’s no way they trust me. There’s no way, because we can’t. This guy just said a word. I don’t even know what it means. So how how how can I trust that he’s got my back? So I love the way that you framed, you know, the the difference between work and personal lives in the States, at least, it has become so profound. And that’s what ultimately happens, is we end up with employees and team members who just put their heads down. They don’t offer innovative solutions. They don’t, you know, they’re not provocative. And they’re and they’re thinking they’re certainly not going to challenge the boss because they know that’s a there’s a short shelf life to that. I think that is just the beginning of the type of ultimate disconnection and apathy that I felt. And it’s the mission that I’m on today, is to have people become more authentic in their roles as a leader or individual contributor, whatever the role is, and be rewarded for that, not be scolded for that.
Kyle McDowell 00:34:13 Like we need people to be who they are for us to get the best results. I mean, that’s just the bottom line in my mind.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:34:19 I completely agree, and I think you, you know, you see, I mean, I love to maybe start with all of those words. The other thing I never do at home, I don’t know about yourself. I don’t ever use three letter acronyms. It’s like it’s never going to get me to understand. No one’s going to understand what I’m doing, what I’m talking about. But we do it. We do it all at work all of the time. And I think we’ve got to get back to that permission. I remember it was briefly this one particular meeting, and it was in financial services, and they’d been chatting away about TS and CS for about ten minutes. And I said, can I just pause you a minute? And I said, you three at the bottom. You think we’re talking about terms and conditions don’t you? And yeah, yeah went brilliant.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:35:00 You three at the top. You think we’re talking about training and competence don’t you.
Kim-adele Randall 00:35:05 Yeah.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:35:05 Yeah yeah. So do you not even have the same conversation. because both of those use the same three letter acronyms, and both of them are regular recognized financial legal terms. I said, but until you get clarity on what you’re talking about, how do you know if you’re having even having the same conversation? And so once we get back to just having that language, and to your point, yeah, absolutely. We have to, you know, perhaps not be so crass and monitor our language or what we’re going to say for the given situation. But actually, once you make it and relatable and understandable and therefore, you know, if you share some vulnerability, it gives people a freedom to share their own vulnerability.
Kyle McDowell 00:35:45 Superpower.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:35:47 In that space. You know, you can all you can all grow. And I love that. You know, that’s your mission, isn’t it? Is to actually get us back to a place where it’s okay to be you.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:35:57 Yeah, in whatever situation. And that is one of the reasons my show is called Authentic Achievements is it’s an achievement to be your authentic self, because it takes courage and it takes, it takes resilience and, it takes honesty with yourself. Yeah. You’re very quick to put the honesty on others, but actually, we have a choice in every situation. And so, you know, I had to be. And you, you said it earlier, you know, can be a tough pill to swallow. It’s a tough pill to swallow. When I realized all those years when I’ve not been myself, that was my choice.
Kyle McDowell 00:36:34 It was.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:36:35 It was to be myself earlier.
Kyle McDowell 00:36:37 Yeah. Well, and I think for for the sake of your listeners, we should be really honest in that. yes. You know, I could not agree more. And I and I think it’s obvious you and I are very aligned on the value and importance of authenticity in the workplace, in our lives in general, for that matter.
Kyle McDowell 00:36:53 I, I gotta stop saying that because I, you know, I wrote the book with corporate America in mind or corporate world in mind. And the one huge, unanticipated, but most profound byproducts was these principles now. They police my behavior outside of work as well. So so you know, we’re obviously very, very aligned on that. But I just believe in being completely transparent with with anyone who’s listening or watching. And that is there are environments that are too big and the toxicity and dysfunction and those, those expectations of you being this robot that, that that influences to strong and you’re not going to change it. So while while I agree with with you and I think you agree with me, there’s so much value in that. But there are organizations where you you might have to make the tough decision to say, this is not a place that embraces who I am, and no matter what I do, other than get in line and kind of kind of filter my own thoughts and opinions, I’m not going to be able to be me.
Kyle McDowell 00:37:54 So I just I’m just I’m adamant about this because I don’t want people to hear or watch this and think, oh, let me just go be myself. And I’m going to I’m going to find this breakthrough, in leadership and be a different person. And, you know, Kyle and Kim said, if I do this, I’ll have this. it’s not always the case, unfortunately. So it does take that self-reflection that you just talked about. And sometimes it takes making the really tough decision and maybe even taking a step backward in your career to land in a place that will embrace who you really are, to take 2 or 3 steps forward. I’ve been there, and found myself the best analogy or metaphor I can think of. Like I was running with a parachute on the beach, barefooted, like into a stiff breeze as hard as I could run. I still wasn’t getting anywhere. And I, and I recall vividly making the decision I got to get out of here because I’m going to end up becoming one of them where I just drank the Kool-Aid.
Kyle McDowell 00:38:45 I’ve got this fancy vocabulary and I can’t be me. I, I collect a great paycheck, but boy, how soul sucking is this? And I and I and I’m not naive. We must, you know, unless that lottery ticket or some big windfall happens, we got to work, we got obligations, we got to pay for things. But I just feel so strongly that we should. We also deserve to be happy and find fulfillment in the thing that we do that that pays our pays, our bills, and that might that’s that’s a tough pill for some to swallow. But, you know, the alternative is to spend decades or an entire career, you know, we’ll work something like 100,000 hours throughout our lifetime. The alternative is to be in a place that I just, you know, I the Sunday scaries, the, you know, the apathy, the the the the duplicity, just the, the bureaucracy. All those things become who you are, the what your way of life. And you just accept it.
Kyle McDowell 00:39:36 And I’m, I just I’m here to tell folks, you don’t have to. You don’t have to accept that. But it can be a bumpy road to get to the place where you feel like you’re you’re most valued.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:39:47 I think so, I mean, so well-said, because sometimes you do have to recognize that, you know, to be you, it’s going to have to be somewhere else. And and that’s scary in of itself. And that takes, you know, some real deep soul searching and going back and, and for me, you know, one of the things once I once I once I was willing to take the step back and trust that I needed to be able to. I use the analogy. I’m a girl. I’ve yet to meet a girl that knows how to put my scar on without looking at themselves in the mirror, so I know at least once a day I’m going to have to do that. And I decided at one point I needed to be able to do that and not recoil in horror at the choices that reflected back that I’ve made.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:40:28 And so that made me make a different choice, make a different change to take a step back. But once you aligned, then you move forward much faster and much happier. And I think some of that was, again, without getting too woowoo in, it is actually, wouldn’t you become more happy and more content? More, more in grace then actually you start to attract to the people that are in the same space.
Kyle McDowell 00:40:53 Yes.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:40:54 Yes. Grow together. yes. Actually, you’re you’re trying to do something for good. And I think it changes those things, doesn’t it? It allows you to, align with with people that want to do a similar thing that have got a similar mission that want to, you know, I was saying in every day, you know, I adore my little girl. And so for every minute I spend away from her, I have to feel like I’m adding value to somebody. Because if not, why would I not spend more time with her? Because she she’s, you know, she’s happy.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:41:26 not like.
Kyle McDowell 00:41:27 The people.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:41:28 That are around our epic, but I therefore look at it and go, if I’m trading time with her for time somewhere else, I have to feel like it. It added value to somebody because if not delivered.
Kyle McDowell 00:41:40 I love that. And it’s so true, right? Our our ultimate, currency is time. Yeah. So if you’re, if you’re spending time doing things that you don’t want to do, and it’s one of the data points I talk about on stage a lot is literally the math says on average, we will work anywhere between 90 and 110,000 hours in our career. So let’s just take the average of that and say 100,000 hours. The only thing you will do more than work on this planet is sleep. So I think if you’re going to, you know, we talk about wanting to have an impact. We talk about a legacy. You talk about, you know, adding value to to what it is that you do is as perverse as it might sound to some work is a really great place to start because you’re going to spend so much time there.
Kyle McDowell 00:42:26 And that is a choice. You know, I guess in so many things in life, especially in choosing to have an impact as, as, as a leader or someone that, you know, helps lift others up, that choice must be made. But I just happen to think that work is a perfect platform because there’s so much time spent there.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:42:44 So. So I could literally chat to you all day.
Kyle McDowell 00:42:47 Likewise.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:42:48 Conscious of time. So how how can people get in touch with you? I mean, obviously we’ll make sure it’s in the show notes below, but I always think it’s nice to hear from the guests themselves. How and.
Kyle McDowell 00:42:58 I Yeah.
Kyle McDowell 00:43:00 Sorry to step on you there. And I sincerely appreciate, a the opportunity to join you today. You know, I had a chance to listen to a few episodes before before jumping on today and was really excited. I was excited by the title, first of all. But then I thought we might have a kinship and it turns out we do.
Kyle McDowell 00:43:17 and secondly, thank you for the opportunity to share how how to how to find me. So on essentially all social platforms, I’m at Kyle McDowell Inc, and my website is Kyle McDowell Inc.com. The book we’ve we’ve touched on a number of times is begin with we ten principles for building and Sustaining a culture of excellence. It’s it’s it’s already sold more units than I, in my wildest dreams ever would have ever would have predicted. Started as a passion project. and I share those social media handles. I’m not chasing those vanity metrics like followers and likes and all those things. I. I share those because I use them as actual communication conduits to help people. So, I, I personally reply to every single message, sometimes not as quickly as I would like, but I do, I do, I do like to engage on, on, on those platforms. And what I found the most value to be is someone who is struggling with a career move or struggling with a an A-hole boss, or struggling with with, with anything related to their career or embracing these principles.
Kyle McDowell 00:44:19 I love to hear from folks. I love to offer my opinion. I don’t have a lot of facts. I have a lot of opinions on this stuff and and that seems to be the best way to interact with those, of a like mind. So thank you for the chance to share those.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:44:32 Oh bless you. It’s been an absolute pleasure. And thank you for for sharing such great insight, such a fabulous conversation and just being so authentic and so honest with with me and with the audience. I really appreciate you. And for everybody listening and watching. Thank you. I hope you found it useful too. And until next time, take care.