Authentic Achievements with Special Guest Dr Julie Ducharme
Welcome to another inspiring episode of the Authentic Achievements Podcast! In today’s installment, we’re thrilled to be joined by the remarkable Dr. Julie Ducharme, a true change maker dedicated to empowering individuals and nurturing their aspirations.
Dr. Julie’s journey is one of relentless dedication to helping people harness their strengths and achieve unparalleled success in their professional and personal lives. Armed with an MBA and a Doctorate in business and organizational leadership, she has left an indelible mark as a 5x national bestselling author, earning recognition from prestigious publications like INC magazine. Her influence extends far and wide, with a presence in the corporate sector and a commitment to guiding those re-entering the workforce.
Through her captivating speaking style, Dr. Julie ignites the flames of empowerment within us, transforming mere sparks into roaring fires of motivation. But Dr Julie’s impact doesn’t stop there. As the SHE CEO podcast host, nestled in the top 1% of podcasts, and a sought-after guest on networks like CBS, ABC, and Fox, she shares her wisdom with a global audience. Moreover, as a serial entrepreneur with five thriving companies under her belt, she exemplifies the spirit of innovation and enterprise.
One of Dr Ducharme’s most significant contributions is creating Lead and Empower Her She Talks, a groundbreaking platform where women uplift each other by sharing their stories. Through initiatives like She Talks Mag and the She Talks membership, she’s spearheading a movement redefining how women network and support one another, leaving an indelible mark on communities nationwide. Join us as we delve into Dr Julie Ducharme’s extraordinary journey, exploring the insights and wisdom that have made her a beacon of empowerment and inspiration.
Tune in and discover how to unlock your full potential with Authentically You Empowering Your Way to Success.
Find out more about Dr Julie at https://drjulieducharme.com/meetdrduc… or connect with her on social media at / drjulieducharme
Find out about https://leadandempowerher.com/ and https://shetalksmag.com/#authenticachievements#shetalks#shetalksmag
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Transcript:
Music]
0:06[Applause] hello and welcome to this episode of authentic achievements where it is my
0:13absolute privilege to be sharing the session with the fabulous Dr Julie desam
0:20but before I introduce her to you all properly Dr Julie welcome well thank you
0:25so much for having me on the show oh I’m so excited to have you here I know every time we have a conversation I learned so
0:31much and you’ve got such an inspiring Journey so let me share a little bit of that with our audience before we
0:36actually open up and get chatting so you are a change maker who’s dedicated your
0:42career to empowering and supporting people to achieve their Endeavors and their dreams people from all over
0:48including corporate sector and those returning to the workforce having taken the advice and guidance of yourself and
0:54learning how to use their strengths to maximize their work and life success you’ve got a unique speaking Style that
1:00ignites the passion inside all of us and makes that tiny spark into a blaze of empowerment since earning your MBA and
1:07Doctorate Degrees in business and organizational leadership you become a five times National bestselling author
1:13recognized by Inc magazine host of shei CEO podcast a podcast in the top 1% of
1:19podcasts numerous TV appearances with CBS ABC and fox you’re a professional
1:25public speaker a Serial entrepreneur and your most recent book authentically you empowering your way to success is
1:32changing the way women approach their lives and you’re also a Serial entrepreneur with five companies and a
1:37real Power House of energy you’re the founder and creator of lead and Empower her she talks a platform for women to
1:43share their stories and fill the gaps for women supporting women and you’ve also launched the she talks magazine
1:49which has been trending Nationwide and the she talks membership changing the way women Network and support each other
1:55and you know that’s just for now now I’m I just got tired listening I
2:01was like wait I am am I doing all that I’m so tired oh my goodness so where do
2:06you get the energy because you have got such high energy and you’re so um so
2:12very generous in sharing that energy with others to G gain their inspiration to find their own yeah you know I I
2:19think my energy started in sports um I learned early on how to um have to do a
2:26lot and multitask and deal with a lot of stress and power but still perform and
2:32so I attribute a lot of that to my my first many many years of Sports Experience and playing and you know in
2:39sports sometimes you only get three or four hours of sleep and then you got to go play and perform and and be at your
2:44top so I also think I thrive off of chaos I think I do um one of my friends
2:50told me that they’re like you thrive off this and I’m like yeah I’d probably be bored if I wasn’t doing anything so um
2:56but you know I just after my mom passed away 10 years ago I just really felt like life is a gift and you need to live
3:03it and don’t waste don’t waste the time and so that was kind of a real pivotal
3:08moment of me just really thinking you know how do I give back how do I create Legacy how do I make change because
3:13that’s something my mother did and so I think that is something as well that really just kind of um pushes me to do
3:20the things that we do oh I love that what what an amazing Legacy you’re leaving for your mom and through your
3:27mom because it sounds like she really inspired you to be this way and to want
3:32to follow on in in her footsteps which I’m sure was part of the Legacy that she dreamed that she left so it’s amazing to
3:38see that come to fruition for her yeah absolutely yeah she was a servant leader and when I watched over 300 people show
3:46up to her funeral people that she had impacted it was a real Just moment of like wow who would come to my funeral
3:53and who have I impacted and that just really shifted my mindset of like we can
3:59be servant leaders and we can still do our businesses and have our passion and make money but if I shift the way that I
4:05approach what I do to leave a legacy I have a a daughter who’s 15 a son who’s 12 you know for what my mom left for me
4:13that that she really was the one who inspired me to just push ahead and start things like she talks oh I love it and
4:20again great legacy for your children as well it’s that driving that spirit and that that’s totally resonates my little
4:25girl is my North Star she is my reason for being and and everything that I do is trying to show her how she can be the
4:33best that she can be and break away probably from some of those older uh more Norm Traditions that certainly when
4:39I was growing up where girls should be seen and not heard I didn’t do very well at that I’m afraid neither dismally to’
4:47be seen and not heard um but I want to like move that and and say actually we should be seen and heard all of us
4:53irrelevant of our age race and agenda and we should be able to stand up and
4:59step into the light that we are supposed to shine and you do that so beautifully and with the likes of she talks you’re
5:06creating that space aren’t you for other people to find a safe space to take that
5:12risk because it does feel like a risk doesn’t it yeah oh absolutely I mean early on in my career I mean you
5:18probably can’t tell but I’m a bit of an overachiever and um you would never know um I think but I
5:26mean all joking side it’s just something that’s kind of built inside me How It Was Made um is the best way I can
5:32describe it but I started early in my career in all things I was doing right and so I was a bit of an oddball and I
5:38loved business and I was in male dominated Industries and um you know no wasn’t
5:44part of my vocabulary failing wasn’t part of my vocabulary I was incredibly stubborn um and as you said I was very
5:51you know I voiced my opinion and I stood out and um As I Grew in those
5:56Industries there was such a lack of women men in the industries there was a lack of mentorship and there was a lack
6:02of safety it was really doggy dog and I had to really um watch myself so that I
6:09could stay above board so that I I that I you know didn’t get caught up in in these types of very unsafe situations
6:17and she talks really came from that area that when I left that industry that I
6:24was really good at but didn’t have a passion to stay in I thought to myself I don’t have any women to lean on I don’t
6:30have any women mentors I don’t have any woman to talk to who knows what I’m going through because it’s very
6:35different what I had was several vicious women who seemed hellbent on making my
6:41life miserable and I couldn’t figure out why and so that really came from a deep area of like how do we change this how
6:49do we stop this divide right because even now today women seem incredibly
6:54divided right and so that idea that I had of like you know have you ever met
7:00someone and you right away kind of stereotype them and then you get to know them and you hear your their storying
7:05you’re like oh my God like why did I think that about you right like a lot of times people say like you’re so intimidating when you come into a room
7:11Julie and I’m like well I’m six foot tall and I used to play sports I’m supposed to look intimidating but um I just had this
7:18thing of like where’s my tribe like who can I rely on and you know I had my mom
7:24and my sister but they didn’t work in those Industries so they didn’t always understand the struggle and so she talks
7:30came from this place of like how could we create a platform for women to share their stories to be vulnerable to be
7:36honest and realize that we’re not as different as we think and that fill that
7:42divide that gap of us women thinking that we have to be like this you know like oh no I can’t I have to climb the
7:48top and if I got to step on your neck and stab you in the back do it oh well I’ve just got to get there and really
7:53change it to this thing of like we’re not so different let’s climb this ladder together you’re good at this I’m good at
8:00this there’s plenty of room at the table for both of us to make this difference and that was really my dream that at
8:07first I thought I don’t know if women can do this like I don’t know if they
8:12can put things aside put down their barriers put down the pettiness and do
8:17this and I was pleasantly surprised you know the first one we did we thought we
8:23might get 20 women we got a 100 we like okay then the second one the university
8:29wanted to sponsor us and we got 250 women and I mean I women who are Barrier
8:34Breakers calling me going like I just want to come you don’t even have to pay me to speak I just want to be part of this and I was like okay we’re striking
8:40a Nerf there’s something going on here and of course that was about seven and a half years ago now we’re a growing
8:47thriving community and and one of the words you said was safe and I really
8:52pride myself on that because having a safe Community for women from all walks
8:58of life is so important because we don’t know everyone’s situation but if they feel safe in that Community then they’re
9:04going to thrive and that’s important to me and whenever we find someone who maybe isn’t really wanting to resonate
9:12with the mission and vision they kind of funnel themselves out real quick we don’t have to do it they just kind of go
9:18no they and they’re out uh and and that’s just really like that’s my passion is I have a 15-year-old daughter
9:25and I just think if I can leave this world a better place if she can have a tribe when I didn’t have one if we can
9:32get thousands of women to give back like that’s going to be like a domino effect
9:38right it’s just going to keep going around the world it starts in one spot and it just keeps going now we have women like yourself who have I’ve met
9:44who are in other parts of the world we have people in Australia New Zealand Ireland so we’re now expanding
9:51internationally and bringing in all cultures which is to me just incredibly powerful you know um for women to find
9:59syst Hood around the world and so that was just really my vision and it’s exciting
10:06that it’s taking off and um in a really great way and it’s and it’s expanding
10:12and this has always been my give back I’ve never made any money off of this I have other companies um and now we’re
10:17trying hard to figure out how do we expand properly and we do it the right way we create
10:23sustainability um for it um but that was just kind of like the vision behind it oh I love it and you’ve definitely
10:28achieved that you know love being part of the community since we since we met and I think I think safe spaces is so
10:35needed because you know you touched on it before actually you when you were cutting your teeth in these kind of
10:41Industries and I did the same I and financial services for 30 years and you that’s no that’s no easy ride um but
10:49actually women were some of the worst and some of the biggest challenges from of the women than I did from from some
10:54of the men and it was almost that you you mentioned it but people with a if I to stand on your head get there I will do and it’s like why do we have to
11:01compete right why are we coming at it from a position of scarcity and why can we not collaborate and can we not find a
11:09a path through and um and I think that’s driven a lot of people to feel insecure
11:16about being vulnerable being brave enough to to share where they’re going but it’s not until we embrace our
11:22vulnerability that we can get through it and we can grow and I think yeah you for me that’s you part of what really
11:27resonates with what you’re doing with she talks is that it’s providing that space it’s providing that and it also is
11:33providing a space for people to reach back and help the next person up um so
11:38that you know that give back piece that being able to say look you know I I get it I know I know it’s like to be where
11:44you are I know it’s like to have to navigate some of these situations that we really shouldn’t ever have to navigate um but we do and um and I think
11:53you know that the fact that now more and more people are getting there I can see why it resonates and I what I also love
11:59about about your mission and what have you is like you said you know good good Mission should repel as many people as
12:04it attracts so the people that don’t want to make that change that don’t want to be open that don’t want to get there
12:10it will eventually repel them because they realize they aren’t going to be able to succeed in the same way that
12:16they perhaps succeeded in other areas this is really about that um we’re
12:22stronger together peace isn’t it and that kind of like drivve for people to want to see other people do well um so
12:30what’s what’s next for you oh gosh well I mean we’re we’re in the
12:36process of building out our magazine which is which has done incredibly well and um I love it because this month we
12:42did we focused on women’s history month and so women came in and told stories of their grandmothers their
12:47great-grandmothers because I challenged them to find women who made change but maybe never got their their day you know
12:54there there where someone recognized it and it was really impactful and resonated with me that that we’re
13:02continuing to build platforms to tell stories even tell the stories of women who can’t tell their stories and it’s
13:08important right like how do we bring to light those women who are the scientists in the background like saving lives That
13:14No One Ever Knows about but you know about and we want to recognize that I always love the story of talking about
13:20Alice who was the scientist who figured out that x-rays um on pregnant women were causing Childhood Cancer and she
13:27found this out and it was was 25 years of fighting with people for them to stop
13:33x-raying pregnant women despite all her proof and I think about her story and
13:38the struggle I mean who would stick it out for 25 years right but like what a
13:43what a a testament to the efforts of a woman who changed not just saved
13:50thousands of childhood Cal lives but so many more right because this day everyone goes to get a woman goes in to
13:56get an x-ray they ask are you pregnant right and if they don’t do it and so I
14:01think about those women and how it’s our job to keep their legacy alive and we’re
14:08doing that through the magazine we’re doing that obviously through the she talks um we’re doing that through the
14:13memberships you know bringing women together and and we’re even trying to integrate in some AI technology which is
14:19so far over my head my team explained it to me and I was like that sounds good go for it said yeah yeah it sounds great the
14:27the AI world every time I I someone talked to me about AI I’m just like I think Terminator and I’m like as
14:33long as nothing happens like Terminator we’re good you can tell I’m old because I’m mentioning Terminator but I think probably one of
14:40my my lifelong goals which is would be to really just create a Sisterhood
14:46that’s so huge with she talks it’s so worldwide right that the impact would be
14:53happening in countries around the world I mean that would probably be my lifelong goal which is big and obviously
14:59that would mean I’d be doing this for the rest of my life um but I think as it continues to catch on I mean I just I’m
15:08floored by the women I’m meeting like and the stories and the impact and it
15:13and it betters me as a person right because I get to learn from them and if
15:18I’m having a pity party sometimes and someone tells me this story and I’m like oh my God why am I having a pity party
15:24like you’ve been through the ringer you’ve you know you’ve gone through this so you know i’ love to see that and I
15:30want to just keep creating connections I want to see women write books together I want to see them create podcasts
15:35together businesses together you know solve world problems together like I I want that to happen and just really my
15:42goal is to close that divide right like we can have different religions and different political beliefs but when
15:47it’s all said and done we’re all women we’re mothers we’re business owners we’re facing those issues so that’s
15:56really my goal and I think that’s obviously a huge massive goal to try and connect different cultures but I think
16:04that you know I think about my daughter and the Legacy I want to leave and so that’s what’s driving me to just keep building that out and um it’s going to
16:11be an interesting ride to see how it goes but I have um you know real belief
16:16that it’s something that’s going to continue to to grow and make change I I completely agree and I think you know
16:22you’re going about it in in just the right way because the one thing that I’ve always thought and and you know
16:27shared with people is is the one thing that connects us all irrelevant of our age our race our gender our culture is
16:34that we all teach and we all learn through stories so it’s how we’ve done it since the caveman drawings or the
16:41hieroglyphics so actually if we can share more stories um we’ll find ways to
16:46connect we’ll find that commonality where we learn and we grow together and I think that’s the beauty of what you’re
16:52doing is is creating that safe space where people can share those stories and not just their stories but the stories
16:59that have been passed on to them that they know so that we those that learning that knowledge that empowerment stays
17:05alive and it is all down to that domino effect isn’t it you put the Ripple out there and and it grows and grows and I
17:13think that’s why you’re then getting so many and I mean this month’s magazine was amazing so many fascinating stories
17:21in but be but be inspired um I I was all kinds of emotions if I’m
17:29honest you you kind of you learned so much there was such spirit in those
17:34stories and and that that piece that was that the amount
17:40of Drive the amount of determination the amount of getting up no matter how many times you fell because what you were
17:47doing was too important not to that was kind of the underlying sense that I got from some of those stories um and that’s
17:55kind of what we need it’s not about how many times you fall down it’s to make sure you get up every time thought do it slowly um so that you kind
18:02of so that you keep going and and I think that’s going to be what helps us to really affect the change isn’t it
18:10it’s raising the debate keeping the voices going that allow us to learn New
18:15Perspectives and find better ways to collaborate with people that maybe alternatively we would not have found a
18:22way of speaking to yeah I know I agree this story that Andrea Bell wrote on her
18:28I’m not sure if it was a great grandmother or I think it was a great grandmother but that story of treering
18:34through Frozen area and lost her son and husband and her shoes froze to her feet
18:40and I mean I’m reading the story and I’m like what else is going to happen to this woman and then hearing that she
18:45made it and then still lived this fruitful life and had more I mean I was just like oh my God like that’s an
18:53amazing story and it reminded me of what women were doing at that time trying to
18:58come to the US and find a new life for themselves and I agree with you I was so
19:04proud of that that that um issue because it was just really I mean it’s interesting and riveting and touching
19:11and impactful and you know some articles I had tears because I was just reading the Journey of the woman and I’m just
19:17like wow you know but I mean that’s that’s what it’s all about right and I’m so thankful because we have it so much
19:22easier right I mean we have everything we need at the touch of our fingertips you know um and so I think you know
19:29we’ve got all this amazing technology now we can use it right to reach people in the matter of seconds or
19:35minutes which I think is really powerful so yeah I’m really excited to see how that goes and we’ve got another exciting
19:42episode a really exciting cover which I can’t announce yet live but I can tell you later but it’s gonna be a really
19:49really cool cover oh now looking forward to that and I think you know for anybody
19:54um watching I highly recommend like check out she talks about magzine because every edition’s been brilliant
20:01and it’s such a lovely Community um and it really is about that like you said um
20:06earlier it really helps you in those moments where you’re having a pity party for love I have got nothing to have a
20:12party about here in comparison like my world’s actually pretty cool yeah
20:19sometimes we need that moment don’t we sometimes we need that moment to to kind of kick us out of that to to help us
20:25find that that um path out though that piece where you look at it and go okay I
20:31might not be happy with things way they’re going for me right now but at least that’s not happening to me at least I am not facing that challenge or
20:38that very often that Myriad of challenges and you think how do you find
20:44the strength to just plow on and yet they do and you
20:49think well actually you know it always reminds me of the fact that every single one of us has survived 100% of the shul
20:55lives taken at us it’s pretty good batting average and every time we’re faced with another challenge we immediately assume we can’t achieve it
21:02and you’re like okay where’s my evidence for that because I’ve overcome everything else so I try and remind
21:08myself of that when I get into that oh my God what now it’s like well hold on okay you might not know how to go over it right now but you didn’t know how to
21:15get over any of those other things and you’re still here and you’re still trying and you’re still showing up so
21:22focus on the bits you can do and I love the fact that the goal is a big audacious scary goal
21:29was Elena Roosevelt that said we should do something every day that scares us and you that is a big scary goal but
21:35because of that it’s going to be a goal that drives you isn’t it oh yeah absolutely yeah 100% so what would you
21:43say has been the greatest lesson you’ve learned so far oh my gosh gosh there’s
21:48so many so many lessons I’ve learned from business to people um I think
21:54something especially with women because I think women are very unique to deal with sometimes you don’t know what version of
22:01the woman you’re going to get right but something I learned when dealing with people is that if they’re tough to deal
22:09with it’s not always you you just happen to be there in the moment that they’re dealing with that um because oftentimes
22:16people will project negative things on you and you’ll think gosh why would you do that to me and I started learning
22:22that you know when we don’t know the story of someone we don’t always know what’s going on so I think the biggest
22:29lesson I’ve learned is to give Grace whenever I can and and giving that Grace
22:34oftentimes opens up other opportunities that I wouldn’t have found if I didn’t
22:40give him that moment of Grace and so that’s something that as I dive deeper into working with women because I really
22:46have worked with men most of my life up until you know she talks um and I was very comfortable working with men
22:52they’re easy they they you know they’re very non-emotional you don’t have to deal with much stuff you know and they
22:59get straight to the point and uh dealing with women was a whole new ballpark for me um and then becoming a mom I realized
23:06that I needed Grace for myself because being a mom isn’t
23:11easy so so that’s something that I just I I’ve taken in and then I’m also hoping
23:18to help other women realize to give each other Grace because very often we don’t
23:23and I’m not saying that every person deserves it but I think that it’s worth giving an off opportunity to dig deeper
23:30I love that because I think you’re right you know we we leap to judgment and actually sometimes I was saying this to
23:36my little girl the other day actually about a little boy that made had picked on her at school and I said I wonder
23:42what’s going I wonder what’s going off in his life and she what you mean by me after we talked about you know how did you make you feel Etc and I said well I
23:48people don’t hurt you on purpose darling people hurt you because they’re going through something that’s making them feel pain and pity loves the party so if
23:56I’m feeling pain I want somebody else to feel pain as as well I say I just wonder what’s going on in his world that makes
24:02him feel that this is going to be what what he has to do I said maybe next time you know if he does it again ask him how
24:08he’s feeling so she came back the next day and went mommy you did it again he went to pull my hair I said did you what
24:14what did I said to him would you like a hug and she said he just looked at me and he went yes please she said so I
24:21hooked him and he’s not pulled my hair again I love it that might have been
24:26just of Grace that he need to allow somebody to have a positive because we don’t know what’s going on in
24:33somebody else’s world and I remember many years ago doing a big redundancy and the day before saying to the the
24:38board said Kim are we ready like Ready’s where we’re going to be because go should we postpone and I was like what I
24:44mean is we’re about to tell 1,800 people that their job is at risk I don’t know
24:50what impact that news is going to have on whatever burden they’re already carrying nor will I ever know so I can
24:58do is be comfortable with the uncomfortable and give them Grace to hold the space for whatever whatever it
25:06is however they’re going to have to deal with that and find a path through it and I think that is I love that you shared
25:12that piece on Grace because I think it is one of the greatest lessons in leadership is actually how do we
25:18find Grace for ourselves and Grace for others those moments of saying our brain will always leap to judgment our
25:24emotional brain responds 24 times faster than our thinking brain but if we can
25:29step straight in there with our thinking brain and go hold your horses for a moment just let’s see what’s going on
25:36then actually we might find a much easier way of working together and connecting yeah fully agree
25:44absolutely so um if you could go back and give your younger self some advice
25:50particularly as a female leader what would it be great question I asked people that question a lot too um I
25:57think you know I would say to myself to just be confident push through it ignore
26:03the negatives you know um I think as a young woman the toughest thing is
26:08listening to the noise and worri being worried about what people think about
26:14you right that’s a tough one right we I always wanted everyone to like me and when they didn’t I couldn’t understand
26:20why and it just bothered me it would give me a stomach ache and so and my mother was really great about this she
26:26would she would just be like listen wear what you want to wear I look back at my outfits and I’m like what was she thinking right but she would say is if
26:33that makes you feel great wear it who cares what anyone else says and I think I would have consisted to say like just
26:38be you you know process of trying to figure out my identity and who I was right and I tried to adopt everyone
26:45else’s because that was successful and I was nervous at being just Julie silly
26:52fun smart Julie right because I like to have fun and be silly but I am a strong
26:57leader and I am intelligent and I know my you know I used to not want to show people that I was smart because I didn’t
27:03want them to look down on me so I think I would have really pushed myself to just be my authentic self so much
27:09earlier on in life than when I started to figure it out in my 30s um you know
27:14and just ignore the cultural norms and things that are yelling at you to be perfect and to look a certain way and
27:21and I hope too that that message I can continue to share not just with women my
27:27age but younger women you know um with with uh all the photography and apps
27:34everyone looks perfect online you know and and it’s really a message that you
27:40know is sent to our young women about perfection and not being yourself you know it’s about looking the part and so
27:48that’s just a real big passion of mine and and you know I went through that struggle and I hope that I could help
27:54other women especially younger women not have to go through that struggle right just ignore the noise Embrace who you
28:01are and it’s not easy because people are mean people are really mean I keep my
28:07kids off of social media they don’t have any social media why because people are mean and move forward and so that’s what
28:14I think about when I think about you know back when I was in my 18s and 19s and 20s and now I’m 46 you know looking
28:21back thinking if I wish and this is where I wish I would have had a woman Mentor right I mean I had my mother who
28:27was wonderful but when you’re working in an industry sometimes you need that industry expert to be like hey I’ve been
28:35there let me give you a little advice right so that’s what I think about and like I said like you said your your
28:41daughter drives everything my children as well and especially my daughter you know she’s 15 going on
28:4825 I mean she’s just like okay when I start driving and going to college and all this stuff and I’m just like I still
28:54see like the little kid that’s like hi mommy you know and I’m like what you’re in college in three years like what you
29:00know and so it just she drives me every day to be better and to leave it better
29:07for her and so that’s that’s and so that advice that I told you I would give to myself I’ve been giving it to her you
29:14know and saying like I said the same thing to her my mother said she came out she goes what do you think Mom I go does it make you feel great and she’s like
29:21yes and I’m like then wear it so that’s that’s kind my goal it so resonates CU
29:27yeah I I think the same you know I spent many years desperately trying to fit in and be what everybody else expected and
29:33I lived My Life as a hyperactive puppy dog most of the time so it was really hard to box that part of my personality
29:40until I realized I can do both I can I can lead and be successful and still be
29:47a hyper excited human being um and I think that you know sharing that message
29:52younger soing that piece my little girl sometimes will come down and she got dressed the other day and I was like
29:58okay we’ve got sequins and netting and we’re going we’re going to going to Asda I the
30:06supermarket not going anywhere else somebody was like we going to a party I was like no this is how we go shopping
30:11the weekend but she felt great and it’s like I don’t care if that’s what makes you feel good and then that’s what
30:17that’s what you should wear because we TR we do now live in a Despair and compare Society don’t we we compare
30:23ourselves to the seemingly perfect life of others and we compare it with the mess realityy of our own and we find
30:29them lacking but you know I sh I don’t share the no makeup selfie that is my gift to the world and when I’ve not had
30:36not had a good night’s sleep or when I’ve burnt dinner which happens because sometimes I get carried away playing with scholar but so we only ever post
30:43the best version of ourselves but the reality is we’re not like that all the time and I think I love that the message
30:48you’re sharing is actually to just be who who you are who you really are in the moment flaws and all and that that
30:55trust that that will be the right you today yeah absolutely and I love that I
31:01love hearing that my daughter I have all kinds of weird pictures of things she’d come out and and I’d be like all right
31:07well let’s just say you know like she’d put on like three hats and like all sort I had a picture of her with a like
31:12bucket on her head and a hat and like these jackets on watching TV and I was like okay well that works for you you
31:20know feel good if that’s how you’re rocking it yeah I was just going to say it
31:26drives her crazy because her school requires uniform forms and she’s just like this is so constricting
31:31mom does she try and like design them up a little bit like trying got visions of
31:37her trying to do a Cruella you know start to oh yeah it’s not as bad as that to me
31:43almost that how far can I get away with making it mine because I think there’s a real they’ve got a real Drive haven’t
31:49they that that you the generations which I love have got that real sense of being themselves and I think that’s because
31:57they’ve got parents older parents like us that are going let’s not do it the way we did it let’s not put them in
32:03boxes um and let’s let them step into who they’re gonna be which is amazing and I’m excited to see what impact
32:09they’re all gonna have because imagine the world they’re gonna create oh my gosh and and if we could reach you just
32:16imagine if you reach 50% of the youth right which is a huge number and 50% of
32:22those kids had that belief and they may change I’m not saying that they would
32:27solve all the world’s problems but they come pretty darn close to solving a lot
32:33and if our young women could start with that confidence like I wish I had had
32:38that confidence when I was young I mean I I love my daughter’s confidence I mean
32:44sometimes she’s a little overconfident I’m like honey like let me just give you a little reality check here but I’m like
32:49you know what I’d rather you go in and be confident and go after and if you fail you fail it happens you know but I
32:56I just think you know you and I both both feel this because we have daughters and of course I love my son as well he’s
33:0212 and he is just a boy he is so funny um but I think if all of us start making
33:09that effort which I think many of the women in our generation are because we went through it and now we’re seeing it
33:15and I’m a older mom I didn’t have my kids until my 30s um many of my friends had them in their 20s I was playing
33:22sports and traveling the world so you know being 46 right now I have such a different perspective on life but I’m
33:28really thanful that I can give that back to my daughter like I’ve gone through it and now I can be like okay I had my
33:35identity crisis I had my early midlife crisis as I joke about it like you know I failed like so many times on my face
33:43um but she gets to see me do all my business like I don’t keep anything off from her like I let her just see me
33:49struggle through it all I you know I’ll be like ah that was rough I lost that client or oh that this client hasn’t
33:54paid their bill in six months or you know like just really see like me in
34:00life right um I think it’s just really helped her her grow as a person um you
34:07know me not trying to be this perfect mom in front of her so not perfect you
34:12know it makes it so unrealistic for them doesn’t it you know I’m even older M so
34:17I schol at 43 I’m 50 now um and I think it’s a for me personally it’s a blessing
34:24because when I look at how I can how I can be with her um in comparison to the
34:29m I would have been in my 20s or 30s because of where I was at that point in my growth journey I know I’m much more
34:36equipped to help her now than I was than I was then and my drive in life was to
34:42was to raise a daughter who is Sassy classy and a little badassy and that’s sometimes the but when she’s she’s got
34:49the sassy and badassy nailed some of the time age seven and occasionally I have to like remind her that we have to layer
34:56The Classy in there as well if she doesn’t I love that that needs to be like a bumper sticker that’s a great thing so I
35:04love it so much was that piece where that’s not how we were brought up to be and it’s like why shouldn’t we be why
35:09shouldn’t we be able to step in and be confident and I always say to us you know as long as you’re kind um then
35:16actually there’s nothing else that there’s nothing else anyone can expect of you yeah is kind but that kindness
35:21has to be to yourself as well as to others because that was something that I didn’t learn till later on in life I
35:27managed the kind to others but I was very kind to myself yeah and that can be a really damaging thing and again that’s
35:33something I see you talk about a lot within um she talks so that people understand it’s that balance isn’t it
35:39it’s that do doing to doing as to others as you would do to yourself is the same
35:45we all know but actually doing to ourselves as we do to others is probably the way we need to learn it often
35:50particularly as women absolutely if you if you can’t love yourself you’re going to struggle in many other things because
35:57you’re just putting up a barrier for yourself you’re putting up a stop right like if I think I’m ugly then I’m gonna
36:05have a difficult time moving forward and doing stages or podcasts or things because I’m ugly if I think I’m not good
36:12enough and I think it long enough I’ll believe it our our mind is so powerful right like we can literally fear is one
36:19of the most biggest things that stop people from doing stuff and most fear is just in our head right and it’s crazy
36:27the power that our mind has right and how we can literally like every time people go like what were your biggest
36:32barriers that stopped you I’m like myself I can’t literally say this person
36:38stopped me because they didn’t you know it was really me who didn’t have confidence or didn’t believe I was good
36:43enough or pretty enough or smart enough you know and and I went through that phase for a good 10 years of my life
36:49this is why I have an eight page resume because I was like if I just get one more degree if I just do one more thing
36:54if I win just one more award I’ll be good enough right yeah yeah it wasn’t until like 10 years into this I ran into
37:01someone I ran into a professor who told me I wasn’t smart enough and he asked me
37:07oh so how are you doing and and I started going through my mind I had all these businesses and I had doctor degrees and I had all these and I was
37:13like well holy cow I am smart enough you know and it took that moment of me
37:19running into the person who said I was stupid to go oh my God I’m not only just smart enough I was always smart enough I
37:27just made myself believe from some person who could care less about me right why do we listen to people who
37:32don’t care about us we have other people who love us and they’re like you’re beautiful you’re smart and we’re like but that guy over there who I don’t know
37:38who doesn’t give a crap about me I’m gonna take what he says and hold it in and so you know I’m I’m big on that like
37:45I’m big on the women really loving themselves and some of them have a long way to go trauma has happened in their
37:51life and they have a journey to get through but I think that if we can
37:56acknowledge it and make it and there’s still days I look in the mirror and I go oh my God I am not 23 anymore right you
38:04know find a new wrinkle and I’m like oh Lord okay you know I mean we’re human
38:10right I me we’re human and women are expected to look good and be ageless and keep a perfect little body and multitask
38:17and I mean that’s just the culture that’s been bred into us um but if we’re
38:23in a group right where women are I just got phone with a photographer the other day right and she’s like like I love
38:28your cheekbones you’re so beautiful and I was like I needed to hear that like
38:33like it was like I hadn’t had anyone tell me that in a really long time and it was like oh my God amaz impact it you
38:40have isn’t it I I was in the supermarket the other day actually and this lady did look like she was having a really bad
38:45day but her hair looked amazing just beautiful and so I went over and I was
38:50like excuse me and she looks a bit harassed like oh what do you want now you GNA can I just say I didn’t mean to
38:56interrupt you but can I just say your hair looks absolutely beautiful and I just thought somebody should tell you
39:01and she like looked a bit taken back went heway I’m going to leave you to your shop hope you have a lovely rest of the day and off I wandered with Scarlet
39:07because I tried and she came and found me three hours later and she went she know you’ve just made my day she said I
39:12just wanted to come and find you to say thank you and I like oh now you’ve made my day so look at that we’re all we’re
39:18all happy I because sometimes it’s just what we need isn’t it for somebody to no other reason to just come and tell us
39:24something that they genuinely believe to be true and I think put those ripples out there and it can be just the thing
39:30that person needs to have an amazing day I could chat to you all night as you
39:37know and we of we often do but I am very conscious that we’re taking up your valuable time so for the people
39:43listening and watching and obviously I’ll make sure it’s in the show notes show notes below but how can they best
39:48reach out and get involved with you yeah absolutely so if you want to get involved in she talks lead and Empower
39:53her.com is a great place if you want to write or propose a story to us for our
39:58magazine she talks mag.com and then if you want to find me it’s Dr Julie du.com
40:05which you can see my name spelled on the screen there because people always ask how to spell it um but Dr Julie du.com
40:12is where you can find me for all all other things that you may want to connect with me on amazing and we will
40:18make sure all of those details are written in the show notes below so that people can just get to those links
40:24really quickly Dr Julia it has been an absolute joy and um we would love to have you back on when you’ve got your
40:30next exciting announcements ready to come but until then thank you for sharing so much Insight with us and
40:37sharing your journey I appreciate it thank you take
40:43[Music] care
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