Authentic Achievements With Special Guest Erin Marcus
🎙️ Welcome to Authentic Achievements, where we uncover the stories behind remarkable journeys and distill actionable insights for your own success! 🌟 In this week’s episode, we have the privilege of hosting an incredible entrepreneur and thought leader, Erin Marcus.
As the founder and CEO of Conquer Your Business, Erin has dedicated her career to assisting driven entrepreneurs and small business owners in achieving both financial and emotional freedom. Erin’s journey is nothing short of inspiring. From a successful career as a corporate executive, she took the bold leap into entrepreneurship, leveraging her MBA education and street-smart upbringing. Now, she’s on a mission to empower others to reach heights they may have never imagined, all while injecting a sense of fun into the entrepreneurial journey. Join us as Erin shares her invaluable insights on making the transition from the corporate world to entrepreneurship, navigating the challenges of building a business, and finding the balance between financial success and personal fulfillment.
Discover how she utilizes her unique blend of experience and education to guide her clients towards creating businesses and lives they can truly be proud of. But that’s not all – Erin is also an international speaker and the host of the Ready Yet?! Podcast, where she dives deeper into the world of entrepreneurship, leadership, and personal development.
This episode is a treasure trove of wisdom for anyone aspiring to break free from the conventional and forge their own path to success. Tune in, be inspired, and get ready to conquer your business and life with the incredible Erin Marcus! 🚀✨
🔗 Connect with Erin: – Website: [Conquer Your Business](https://www.conqueryourbusiness.com/)
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Transcript:
[Music]
0:06[Applause] hello and welcome to this episode of authentic achievements where it is my
0:12absolute privilege and pleasure to be joined by my good friend Erin who I’ll introduce you properly in a moment but
0:18Erin welcome thank you for joining us I’m so excited to chat with you again oh
0:24me too we we always have such fascinating conversations don’t webly other people will think they’re fasc I
0:30know you and I think it’s fasc we think they’re fascinating and and kind of sharing some of those stories but before
0:35we get into that let me share with our audience a little bit more about you so Erin Marcus is the founder and CEO of
0:42conquer your business an international company dri helping driven entrepreneurs and small business owners get the
0:48financial and emotional Freedom they need to build a business and a life that they’re proud of having made the
0:54successful leap from corporate executive to entrepreneur Erin uses that experience along with her MBA education
1:00and Street Smart upbringing to help her clients reach Heights they never dreamed possible and more importantly have fun
1:08doing it and Erin is also an international speaker and host of The Fabulous ready yet podcast and you do
1:15such an amazing job of bringing to life some of the complex challenges that
1:20entrepreneurs face in conquering their business and but in a way that actually
1:26makes it fun um because once things are fun they become less less challenging
1:32don’t they automatically they become less challenging right I mean I didn’t the way that I describe it is I didn’t
1:38quit my fancy job to be miserable yeah yeah right if I wanted to be miserable I
1:44could go get a job I love that I say that all the time if I want to be miserable or unhappy I can go and do it
1:50somewhere else I can go do that anywhere or one of my friends once said to me you know the phrase um life is too long to
1:57whatever life is too short right just too short to be miserable right we don’t
2:03have time for this it is it is and and it the one thing that none of us get any more of his time no um and I read um I
2:12read step Bartlett’s book uh Before Christmas the happy sexy millionaire and in it he talks about having an
2:19hourglass an hour long hourglass uh and he’s got them dotted around his house he
2:24said every now and again he’ll tip them over just to remind him that he never gets this hour back so to be really
2:30conscious and present in the moment and I must I’ve done the same which is just reminding yourself if this were the last
2:36hour on Earth is this what I do um and if it’s not even something you’d like to
2:41do in the last week of your life then you probably shouldn’t be doing it it’s so true I mean I think that is one of
2:48the interesting things I watch happen with small business owners and entrepreneurs they go into business to
2:54have more control over their life and then they fall victim to a situation
3:01where they have less control over their life right they they end up doing all the things they don’t like doing because
3:08someone told them they’re supposed to do them yeah yeah right and you end up
3:13doing less of what you like to do it’s so TR and I in the first day when you become an entrepreneur you suddenly
3:20realize you know your payroll your it your first no it realizing that I was my
3:27it Department was my first official meltdown as an entrepreneur when the printer didn’t print and I realized I
3:35have nobody to call yeah yeah like there’s I don’t even know where to begin
3:41to solve this problem and I don’t even have somebody to call to help me do this
3:48right it’s it’s true isn’t it because they’re the bits that we don’t always
3:53think through before we get there we think through some of the big is but as is often the case with life it’s not the
3:59big is that trip us up the devil’s in the detail and it’s the detail that piles up and you you kind of sweep it
4:06under the carpet for a little bit until all of a sudden there’s not enough room between the carpet and the ceiling for
4:11you to keep walking so you kind like you might need to do something about that and I said that to a team member this
4:17morning I asked her where something was and and I forgot what her reply to me was was I I was but I said well as long
4:25as it’s easy because we all know I won’t take the time to figure it out I’ll just ignore
4:31it until it becomes a big catastrophe right because I won’t go do that right I
4:38W it’s not it’s one of those things whatever it was it I’m sure it had to do a attack that I don’t like and I’m like
4:44well I’m glad you fixed it because I would have ignored it until it became a disaster and I think we I think we do
4:51don’t we we do that um I think that it that’s sometimes the lessons that that we learn having been in corporate life
4:58where you do have somebody to call um you suddenly realize that you know you’ve got to do those things
5:03differently but before we get into that tell us a little bit about your journey so what made you make the leap and
5:09what’s been your greatest lesson so far oh my gosh so the journey makes no sense
5:15until you look backwards and go oh okay so that’s why right because I was you know if you want to go way way back in
5:21the origin story I grew up in Chicago in the 70s and 80s Public Schools you know
5:26no brilliant education but I not because it wasn’t necessarily available I felt I
5:32had other things I could be doing at the time right yeah yeah right but somewhere
5:39along the way I became very driven and I think it was because I there’s this
5:47weird mixture of thoughts in my head where I’ve never felt the rules applied
5:52to me I really didn’t I never have I I’ve always felt that I can go about
5:58doing whatever it is that I wanted to do however I always knew I had to do it for
6:04myself there was no entitlement associated with it right I never felt the rules applied to me but I never felt
6:11anything was just gonna be handed to me either yeah right so because I felt that way I just had this career
6:19where I did a good job what opened the next door opportunity I did a good job it open the next door and opportunity
6:25and I worked my way up in corporate in a corporate job where they paid for an MBA
6:31I was given ownership shares in the company I was brought into rooms with by
6:37great mentors that were way above my pay grade at the time and someone poured energy and
6:44effort into me but they did it because I you know did my part yeah right so I
6:50learned corporate business and my first leap out of that
6:57world was actually with a franchise okay but because and the franchise had to do
7:03with helping families with aging parents I liked it because I wanted the
7:08business aspect of it it was what I call the baby franchise so they had a framework but it wasn’t really
7:15completely thought out so I had a lot of freedom to actually help them create the
7:20path and while I got my business to the top 10 out of 200 offices in like 18
7:26months because I had the business background right because they had the business background but what started to happen is
7:34working with families with aging parents right which is everybody’s trauma all my
7:39clients were in trauma it was a a horribly difficult situation interpersonally for them from a business
7:45standpoint was a logistical nightmare with no barriers to entry on any of the things that we did so my competition is
7:53working under the table while I’m above board with insurance and taxes and much
7:58higher expens enses and at the same time when I would
8:04have my turn at the networking event to talk about my business the other people there were like yeah yeah yeah we know
8:11aging parents blah blah blah but why are you making money like how come it’s working for you yeah yeah and it was
8:19because of this business background and a a MBA that focused on marketing and executive leadership
8:27so I got to this point where where I could stay in the trauma of my clients
8:32in the very logistical difficult franchise not because they made it difficult but just because of business
8:39that it was or I was having these amazing aha moments with friends and networking friends and my vendors and my
8:46partners and even the franchiser hired me to help train new franchises and that felt way more
8:54exciting yeah yeah right where instead of just building my business now I got
8:59to build everybody’s business I love that and right and through that
9:05Journey strength finders you know diving into personal development diving into
9:11all of the the personal Journey that comes with a successful entrepreneurial journey I realized okay if I just play
9:20to my strengths that’s here yeah to our right and to our Point have fun doing it
9:26it’s easier for me to work in my genius Zone it’s more fun for me to work in my genius Zone it’s better for clients you
9:33know one of the things in my personal life is I say I don’t know how to cook I don’t cook the world is a better place
9:39for me not cooking no one wants to eat this right like it’s the same thing in my business if I just stick with the
9:47thing that I’m good at and where is that intersection and service to
9:52others yeah everything just works much better I I love that so one of my
9:57favorite books is is the um is the big leap and that part that says we very often don’t we we stop at our sphere of
10:03Excellence where we know we can earn something for a skill but that means
10:09we’re often doing a lot of things we don’t like as well as the one or two things that we do um but once we have
10:14the take the faith to step into that sphere of Genius which is um we’re
10:20brilliant at it because we love it so much and we’ve got such a passion and we
10:25take the leap of faith to strip away the other stuff and that’s that feels very vulnerable doesn’t it when you step into
10:32that space I think it feels risky be well in a lot of different ways one is
10:38you have to get really confident of owning your space like I can I spent a
10:45lot of money a lot of time and a lot of right being able to look someone in the eye and say listen this is the thing I’m
10:51really good at yeah but the thing that makes it easier is I can just as easily give you the much longer list of things
10:58that I suck at things that I am not good at and so there’s vulnerability in being
11:07massively authentic but I think what happens is there’s fear and scarcity around letting go of everything else
11:14yeah yeah combined with being susceptible to believing other people’s
11:20marketing especially in the small business world right like if you look at marketing and Leadership and the just
11:28unbelievable amount of volume of information out there about just do this one
11:33thing if you haven’t embraced your Genius Zone your authenticity really
11:38strong in what you know how to do you’re going to be more susceptible to other people’s influence yeah it doesn’t make
11:46them wrong or bad it just might not be the right thing for you that’s so true because it’s it’s
11:53about finding our path isn’t it and it’s one of the reasons clearly we’ve called this authentic achievements which is you
11:58know for as part of my journey it was finding my authentic space and growing
12:05enough to fit in that space and like you say that is that big personal Journey
12:10that we go on as entrepreneurs that runs alongside our entrepreneurial Journey which is um getting past it you we have
12:18a natural Talent um but we D say that because that feels egotistical we’ve all
12:23been told egoes bad um but once we own our natural Talent um but we also own everything else with about that you
12:31know I mean I’m more than happy to tell you what I I mean there is so much that
12:37like there’s a reason I’m not allowed to fill out forms and sign up for things and put things on the calendar because I
12:43won’t do it right I won’t pay enough attention to it to do it right but it’s
12:49it’s knowing that space isn’t it and saying actually what we you if we
12:54something that we find hard boring
13:00difficult just don’t want to do doesn’t matter what it is will be somebody else’s zone of Genius so while it fills
13:08us with absolute dread and horror that we might actually have to do it it’s somebody else’s
13:14Baraka they’re going can I it I’d love that so it’s find the right people in
13:19your team isn’t it where they they spark up at the things that zap your energy
13:26and that you spark up at the things that zap theirs and learning how and this was a like
13:34don’t judge them yeah like I think there is a tendency when when you’re when you
13:43really really love something the antithesis to it you don’t
13:48like it so it seems odd that somebody else would like it and so we judge
13:55somebody else for liking something we dislike yeah yeah well because because it feels
14:02like there’s a lack of connection and I guess and for me one of the things that you really helped part of my journey is
14:09we do live in a world of polarity so something doesn’t exist without its counterpart so once I realized that and
14:15really embraced it I now am so thrilled when I meet people that that hate the thing I love and love the thing I hate
14:22because my thing couldn’t exist without them right because polar opposite has to exist so I’m like way to go
14:29right I wouldn’t get to do what I do without the people who do what they do yeah yeah um but it’s it’s that it’s
14:37that subtle change isn’t it on the on um the language that we use and how we
14:43position things um internally as much as how we position them externally um
14:48because if you I use it with my little girl all the time she’ll come out I’m I’m not good at this and I always say to
14:54it yet I’m not good at this yet um because if you just leave it as I’m not good at this you’ll never be good at it
15:00because you become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you say I’m not good at it yet you start to look for ways to
15:06improve or I think the danger point in that though is and it really is not not
15:15with a child who’s trying to learn but with an adult who has fears and and
15:21limiting beliefs to overcome in their entrepreneurial journey in your career wherever you are we can use I need to practice that
15:29to get better at it as an excuse to hide in these yeah pns right of being busy
15:37instead of being effective well I’m not good at that so I have to get good at it no you don’t you need to admit that you
15:42don’t want to do that and hire someone who does absolutely yes so I think sorry you’re right but I think if it’s
15:49something that you want to do that that you go I really want to do this but I keep telling myself I’m not good at it
15:55and that’s I guess you know I meet so many entrepreneurs that are great at this stuff it is their secret Source but
16:00they can’t see it um so so they’re in that easy for them so why would see it
16:05right it and and I think that’s also why it does take some
16:11external person that you admire or
16:17respect to help identify these things
16:22yeah yeah because you often can’t see them um for yourself and and the voice we use inside our head is so plausible
16:29um it sounds so reasonable and we never question its motive do
16:36we it’s usually a big joke it’s like I don’t want to spend time with you and
16:41you’re the one person I can’t leave behind know you come with me so you know
16:46I have to I have to say to I had to go this journey myself it’s like why why would you allow the one voice that you
16:52cannot switch off to be somebody you didn’t want to hang around with right
16:57because if that was naturual person in front of you you’d walk
17:05away somebody’s calling my name over there I’ve got to go um so I think sometimes it’s it’s that whole um
17:12relearning our internal dialect well it goes so fast I think one of the things
17:18that I had to learn how to do your thoughts can run away with you so fast
17:23and it for me it is I’m able to catch a physical feeling faster than a thought
17:32that that Whirlwind can be you know way off the train tracks before I catch on
17:38that the Train’s even moving but I can feel the physical feelings and so I’ve learned to identify the physical
17:46feelings the physical manifestation of what’s going on in my
17:51head and use that as a
17:57barometer and catch it faster because actually our emotional brain responds 24
18:03times faster than our thinking brain so we think that we’re logical rational human beings but the reality is 24 times
18:11faster we will have felt an emotion and that’s what we respond to and so very
18:16often when you’re having a conversation you go let’s look at what actually happened and what you’ve made it mean um
18:21because both of you were in the same situation but you both responded emotionally differently based on
18:27whatever’s happen happed in your life in your past and in you know what you’ve created from from that which why you can
18:33show people the same situation and somebody will be anxious and somebody will be angry because it depends on
18:39their perspective coming into it but factually what happened when you kind of pull it back and I remember doing a big
18:45redundancy and people I think got fed for me in the end like facts are your friends so let’s come back to the facts
18:52because you’ve created a story and you’re off there with the emotion of the story where we’re going we need to bring
18:58all all of that back because that’s not happened yet um so let you know let’s look at the facts but it takes a lot of
19:04learning and a lot of ment learning how to self- coach through
19:10those types of situations is so challenging
19:17and as weird as it sounds the longer my journey has been in that
19:24world while I’ve become monumentally l judgmental my world and who is in it has
19:32gotten much smaller yeah because I have all the empathy in the world for the
19:37people who have not done that Journey because it’s not easy it’s not something you’re taught it goes against it goes
19:44basically against Neuroscience like you are up against some things yeah but the
19:50more you learn to neutrally observe you know that’s my big thing is become an observer of my behavior
20:00isn’t as opposed to a judgmental of it oh isn’t that interesting what the hell was I thinking you know like why did I
20:07do that in because that’s how you get out of those spirals
20:12faster and I always go back to my my dog who has since passed but I have a I had
20:18a dog that was highly reactive I have a new dog that’s highly reactive so I guess certain patterns don’t change but
20:25um I was never gonna she was never going to be The Confident dog that could go to the beach and go to the art fair and go
20:32to the other places with all the people all we could really do is hope that when she was going on a walk and something
20:38startled her that her recovery time would be faster and faster and faster and same thing right you can’t change
20:44the way a brain works this is the way a brain works yeah you can only catch it and recover faster and faster and faster
20:52that’s so true isn’t it because yeah I always say to to scholet we that we try and live our life through passionate
20:58curiosity with self and others so instead of having to label it and judge it be curious about it I wonder why
21:04that’s so right I wonder why I think they’re so wrong why they got there I wonder why I got here um but just that
21:11that slight you know Change Makes You Makes such a difference and you know I I
21:16was I’ve said for years if we don’t get to choose how people behave towards us
21:22we do get to re choose our response um and over time and that can be how
21:28quickly we recover um what we do following that it can hardest the hardest is recovering
21:36from your own thoughts though right like even now because this happened
21:41recently for me where I’ve come so far in this journey and yet a couple things
21:48happened in my business and I’m like this went on too long like why didn’t I
21:53catch it sooner and you almost get more and more judgmental with yourself like I should know better I should have seen
22:00this like and it’s that’s no less damaging than making the bad decision or the decision
22:07that didn’t work out in the first place I it’s so true I’m only smiling because
22:13I so do that it’s and you’re then like right you’re now wasting even more timeing
22:19yourself the problem’s still not fixed because now first you made the mistake
22:24now we’re dwelling on the fact that you made the mistake now we’re beating ourselves up about the mistake the
22:30mistake still isn’t fixed because we’re just obsessing over the Mist got so much capacity of brain power
22:37that we can use and we’re wasting it on the I know that I should know this by now because I’ve gone through this
22:42journey and you like you said sometimes you know it only makes sense when when you look back and I’ve often
22:48said you know life only makes sense in the rearview mirror it’s only when you look back that you’re like ah ah so
22:56clear fit together but you know with the benefit of hindsight we all have 2020
23:02Vision I guess you know it’s easier when you get when you get to that other side but it is that
23:09um I guess it’s learning the discipline of which practices work for you yeah and
23:14which practices don’t work for you and then kind of to your to your point being
23:21a bit more forgiving that when you’ve fallen into a bad decision or bad practice to forgive yourself quickly so
23:29that you can actually move on and fix it instead of just adding in another bad practice which is let’s now dwell on it
23:35now dwell and one of the things and and just to use economic terms and I don’t know why this occurred to me I’m trying
23:41to determine as I look back on 20 you know because of this time of year
23:47like I do this all year long but there’s certain times of year you go a little deeper
23:53into feeling that there’s a fresh start I’m trying trying to determine
23:59what are the leading indicators of a problem instead of having to rely on the
24:04lagging indicators that there was a problem like what not just
24:11identifying okay this was a mistake I didn’t get the results I wanted okay now we need to forgive ourselves faster move
24:17on faster but what could I put in place to make that whole process happen
24:24even more quickly because it really that’s the trick like again you’re up against Neuroscience when you spiral out
24:31so you’re not going to change the way your brain works but what can you put in place so that what used to throw you for
24:37a year only throws you for a quarter and then a month and then a week and then a day and then a like oh well that didn’t
24:45work next yeah I I love that because it is it’s in that one of the things that I
24:51see a lot with with with with clients is we don’t do the lessons learned
24:58we do the we make we make the mistake we do the beat ourselves up about the
25:05mistake but we don’t do what lessons have I learned that to your point can be
25:11my early indicators that I might be making this a similar mistake in the fut
25:17because true success always comes off the back of failure because it’s in when they’ve gone back and looked at it and
25:22go no it’s not the the whole thing’s not wrong if I just pulled these one or two things and kept the rest in
25:28then it will move faster and that’s you we see that all the time don’t we and and identifying the patterns and and the
25:34thing that makes me crazy and yet at the same time intrigued is you’ve heard of
25:40the uh the phrase um new level new Devil and I don’t think that’s how it works I
25:47think it’s new level same devil different outfit yeah yeah right like
25:52it’s the same damn pattern except it’s trickier this time because
25:58you solve the easy version of it yes you just get to the next level aren’t you the next you know the next um iteration
26:08yeah and I think sometimes we expect that the answer is going to be massive no and it’s the same it’s the exact same
26:14answer just a little better hidden yeah yeah and then my my girlfriend and I
26:20used to say oh my God I hired my mother again how did that happen I thought I solved this problem right
26:30this how did I hire my mother again I could have sworn this was those Shure
26:36moments don’t you where where they just they just come through and you’re like ah right okay and you how how did I fall
26:44for that part again how did that’s a great way to say it because I think back
26:49to our conversation about we beat ourselves up for it because that’s ex how did I screw this up again and I
26:55think for those of us who have have achievements we get harder and harder
27:00and harder on ourselves when we feel that we’ve not broken the pattern that
27:06we’ve made the same mistake again but in a different way and and as you said earlier you we
27:14we’re filled with so much compassion for anybody else that makes the same mistake you know I I look at it and um I
27:19remember doing my Tex last year and the guy that was running it um gave me some feedback afterwards and he said you know
27:25you’re the most supportive person you were so kind to everybody before they went on I was doing people’s hair
27:31and makeup for them because they were nervous and you stood outside he said outside before they went in for
27:36everybody you were like you’re brilliant you know this stuff you’re all over it you know just trust yourself and enjoy
27:42it he said then I heard what You’ said to yourself when you were stood outside on your own waiting to go in I was
27:49like what I said to myself was for crying out loud it’s 12 minutes just get over yourself yourself stop
27:58ridiculous and it was really one of those Ure Eureka moments for me of oh my
28:03goodness I am I’m like Jackal and Hyde yeah in a nice way because I do the nice
28:09bit to everybody else and the mean bit to myself but maybe if I could just keep learning so that I could do a little bit
28:16of that kindness to myself um imagine imagine the the
28:22journey that you could be on and you know that was a year ago and I’m pleased to say I’ve learned a lot in that year I
28:28still have my moments of pull yourself together pull yourself yeah I mean I remember and
28:35again it was just so like yours it was so blatantly obvious that it it helps right I was in
28:44my car and literally this is so terrible
28:50banging on my steering wheel you stupid idiot how could you
28:55seriously have screwed this up like who would I ever talk to I was mad
29:00at myself in a million years I would never not just
29:07because of what’s proper because I never claim to be proper I just would never do that to another person no and
29:14yeah and then I’m like okay like get a grip like this is not okay this it’s
29:20true is it I mean you okay I always think to to myself now you know if if this were If This Were somebody cared
29:27about and this had happened what would I say to them and why can I not say that to myself so so I play that dialogue now
29:34in my head in those moments because I’ll still get mad with myself and I’ll play it out and go well okay I’d say this to
29:40them why would you say that because I genuinely feel it you know they didn’t do it on purpose it was a mistake they’re learning from it they you know
29:47their intention wasn’t to get it wrong right so so all of those things that I know to be true it’s like did you intend
29:53I have this for myself Kim did you intend to mess it up well no did you in tend to for for it again well no right
30:00okay so let’s just be marginally more forgiving of ourselves for the fact that we are perfectly imperfect human beings
30:06and therefore we’re fallible and we’ll mess up and now take the learning and move forward so that you question you
30:13with this because you and I are very similar in this and I know it’s your show but
30:19I’m asking the question different what do you do how do you put
30:27in place what people call and I say people call because clearly I have no
30:33frame of reference for this processing the emotions I don’t even understand what
30:39that means right so I had a very hard year I
30:45had a very hard year I’m oddly perfectly excited about everything
30:50that’s to come like I under I understand on that logical level like everything that happened and it was family and
30:58health stuff and you know there is a big old thing and I realized as I was doing
31:04some of the work that you just mentioned especially this morning that you know because it’s you
31:10know new Journal new Journal day right so it looks all it’s all organized and
31:16pretty still chaos is not interrupted in the new Journal right um I have done
31:23nothing to process the feelings And the emotions attached to the
31:30challenges and in and while I to our point of our conversation have moved
31:36past the angry reaction at myself I don’t know that I’m yet at like how do
31:45you process the emotions of it as opposed to The Logical approach that you were outlining of moving through it’s
31:54such a great question and um you over the years life’s thrown me the odd plot twist which has given me an
32:01opportunity to be in very very highly emotional situations um
32:07yay Y and you they I do believe everything in life is a lesson a blessing or both so even in the moments
32:14I don’t feel blessed I know the lesson’s in there and the blessing will be hidden in it yeah and I remember in one particular it was a it was a personal
32:20situation one particularly tough situation I remember having a conversation with with um my ex and
32:26saying to him um I’m really sorry I need to I I need to hang up for 10 minutes
32:32and then I will call you back um and he was like what’s wrong and I was like right now I’m really finding it hard to
32:39find a response I’m going to be proud of so so I catch that in myself and I’m
32:44going to remove myself from this conversation until I can deal with the emotion and then come back and not allow
32:51the emotion to drive what’s going with us um and he was like oh my God you’re such a robot um and I was like now’s not
32:57a good time for character assassination your any
33:03deeper par that for somewhere else I said but I guess I had to learn to do that in leading big organizations and I
33:10did big transformational change so it was a lot of upheaval it was a lot of redundancies and restructuring and
33:16they’re highly emotive yes and you have people coming at you swearing and angry
33:23and frustrated and the natural response is very often to defend um and and to go
33:30back at them but I was able with lots and lots of work lots of mentors lots of
33:35um putting in the effort uh to understand it to acknowledge that people
33:40don’t hurt you on purpose so what do you do then because I love that part right
33:47what do you do then to fill your cup because that while you we can all do
33:55better and learn better how to handle it I think there is a emotional toll as
34:02opposed to a physical toll right of staying in that space you have to go back and look at them so so what I’ve
34:09what I’ve for me personally I’m not saying work for everybody for me personally I’ve realized I don’t need
34:14other people to be there when I look at them as long as I look at them as long as I go and find that space as long as I
34:19find something that works appropriately for me is my worst times appropriately for me um was to cry for five hours was
34:27on my own and just let the emotion out because I needed to empty it for for the
34:32next day and I worked out embarrassingly to say that if I started crying at 8 o’clock at night as long as I finished
34:38Crying by two in the morning nobody’d know right you were happy it was in between um Scarlet’s feeds and I wasn’t
34:45I didn’t look like i’ been slapped around in the face with the wet fish the following morning to go into work and I did that for a number of months at one
34:53of my worst moments because what I realized was you’ve got to deal with the emotion if not what you do is you bottle
34:59it up and you up and it bursts out somewhere else and I think that is one of the
35:05failings of a lot of the life coaching profession like like they talk about and
35:13I’ve studied all of it and enjoy it the positive manifestation the
35:21Gratitude and I again big fan yeah but there is a big difference between
35:29releasing the emotion right you can’t mistake any of that for believing you’re
35:35not supposed to feel the emotion no and they do um I I’ve read a book actually
35:41for to help my little girl out but it’s amazing and I recommend it to adults it’s called the whole brain child and it
35:47talks about the fact that actually what we should be doing is managing the whole brain and how the brain works and the reason why all have seen a child that
35:54was in fullon tantum room and then seemingly minutes later happy is Larry
36:02know a few adults that still do that best living their best life and it’s because what what little children do is
36:10they feel the they feel the emotion and they let it go because we because we
36:16tell them not to and actually you know the book taught me some amazing things about parenting that I was getting really badly wrong so the minute Scarlet
36:23cried my initial reaction was to tell her everything was okay and to get to stop crying the book allows you to realize you’re
36:29teaching her not to trust her emotion and not to feel them so instead of fixing it she doesn’t wants to be fixed
36:35she wants to just feel in that moment you should say that must feel really awful tell me about it acknowledge it so
36:41when she’s woken up and it’s like you know monsters under the bed instead of going there aren’t any you have to go
36:47well that must be really scary okay talk to me about that because what you want to do is teach them to trust that their
36:52emotions are valid and they’re okay and it’s okay to feel them and then what we need to do is work
36:58through them so you don’t leave it there go it’s really scary then go okay that must be RIS I’d have been scared if I
37:04felt like that should we have a look together because I don’t think there are any there but let’s just put our minds at rest together so we’re acknowledging
37:11it and I started doing it with adults and it really helps it’s that piece that’s going to stop suppressing the
37:16emotion the emotions right to feel but you’ve got to feel it acknowledge it
37:22accept it and let it go and then is it br who talks about um not calling them
37:29negative feelings yeah they’re just emotions of which we’ve got different
37:34ones it’s like you we we give it a label and then because of the label we give it we decide if it’s good or bad whereas
37:41actually it is just what it is it is what it it is what it is and it was it was there to teach us something so you
37:47know I use a combination and it really depends on what works you what works for me and sometimes it’s really helpful and
37:54somebody got me to do this many years ago and was a great it was a great thing I realized this me interviewing you and
38:00now I’m switched but you know we do that um
38:05but they did they told me to go and ask people that I trusted so friends colleagues um bosses and say look I
38:14really need you to be brutally honest with me because this is about my development can you tell me one or two
38:19things that you think of my strengths and can you tell me one or two things where I get in my own way and it was
38:25amazing what you got played back so so even the phrasing of that instead of calling it a weakness weakness it’s
38:32where I get in my own way because those are two very different feeling you know
38:38because it’s not a weakness it it’s a blind spot right and a blind spot we can
38:43get through because we can shine a light on it and if we can’t see it someone can shine a light on it for us but it’s all
38:49in the language because the language that we tell ourselves is it our brain is a bit like a satnav so the language
38:56we tell it is where it drives us like and it doesn’t know it doesn’t understand the difference between help
39:01and harm so whatever we’re telling it it’s completely neutral yeah I have a friend I have a friend who suggested she
39:09has a lot of different exercises she does for releasing the heavier emotions
39:14and anger and all of those things so she tells she lives in Idaho and she tells me that she throws rocks and screams to
39:23rele right and that that is what I should do I live outside of Chicago I could drive for two hours in any
39:30direction and still be if I start throwing rocks and screaming the police are coming like
39:37I and it’s it’s finding the thing that works for you Erin you for me sometimes Al decid it’s a really good idea to go
39:44and make bread I’m probably never eaten that bread because I’ve needed The Living Daylights out but actually it’s a really great
39:50release and it’s a quiet release so if you know if I’m in the house on my own and I’m really angry and scar say she’s
39:57never going to hear that rant um but I can get it out by eaing the bread um or
40:02I’ll you if I’m walking the dog and it happens to be somewhere quiet I might I might yell or might I might put on a
40:08really loud really loud music and Just Dance it out I used to call
40:14like and for me it is the staying not just occasionally but staying immersed
40:21in nature yeah yeah right staying immersed in nature in some way just kind
40:27of dissipates so much of the chaotic emotions well it’s it’s kind of sending
40:32you it’s grounding you so so you’ve got those parts but I would say you for any
40:38for everybody listening or watching try a few things find the one that works for you and you know we do live in a Despair
40:45and compare Society so people tell us what works for them and then we start to go it doesn’t work for us there something wrong with us so no it’s right
40:52for us you know what’s what works for me won’t work for somebody body else but if we all share what does work for us
40:59eventually there’ll be enough information that we can find a thing that does that that really does work
41:06that allows us to just you know get it out of that get and I think that’s such
41:12a big part of that’s you know it was missing and
41:18it’s been a while when I was in corporate but if you you have to have
41:24these mechanisms especially as an entrepreneur and a small business owner that saying that
41:31your business can never outgrow you is just so true because you can get really
41:37really far in a career because to my horror to my personal horror when I left corporate
41:44and I thought I was so brilliant because I had such a great career you know that really is
41:49achieving on a narrow path that somebody else created and so there’s not nearly
41:56as many pitfalls because if you just follow the path right yeah but as a small business owner entrepreneur like I
42:02said first melt toown was over the printer um your business can’t outgrow you and that was my one of my biggest
42:09biggest shocks when I started my journey was that the thing that was messing me
42:16up was very seldom what I was doing and almost always how I was thinking yeah
42:23was not prepared for that you know as as entrepreneurs in our business we are both our greatest asset
42:30and our biggest distractor yeah um because it can only go at the pace we
42:36can go at H and if we think wrong it will go wrong because what we think
42:42about we become so and that’s really hard when you get stuck in a pitfall in your business and then you spiral into
42:48it and actually what you’re really supposed to be thinking of is what’s the answer not what’s the problem but instead we kind of all delve into we
42:55know that problem inside out don’t we Inside Out upside down you know we can name it children um but we’ve not spent
43:01as much time thinking about but how what my what’s the art of the possible and for me that’s one of you know that’s one
43:07of the things that I ask people all the time because we when you’re asking people to think outside of the box it’s
43:14a very frightening place to be because people are expecting that whatever you say is concrete it’s you know forever
43:23that every decision is a forever work whereas if you go with okay what do we
43:29think is likely and then what is the art of the possible the art of the possible is where we trigger our creative brain
43:35because it doesn’t have to be right or wrong it’s the art the possible so we start with that and then we can pull it
43:41back and go okay well you know which bits work which bit didn’t work how do we learn from how do we learn from those
43:47um and I think again it’s all back to I think my I guess one of my greatest lessons so far has been the importance
43:54of language um the language we use on ourselves and the language we use on other people and because just changing
44:01one word um can totally change you the
44:07outcome of of kind of where of where we’re going but liven you you are so right it is that um that self Journey as
44:16as an entrepreneur that I think becomes the a massive lesson for us all Erin you know I could chat you literally all all
44:23day and you’ll have to come back on because we need to do this again if you could go back and give yourself a
44:30piece of advice at the start of your entrepreneurial Journey what would it
44:37be advice I would dive into that personal
44:43development much sooner I would dive into that personal development much sooner and one of the
44:50things that I’ve learned to ask myself I would have um one of the the things I’ve
44:56learned to ask myself constantly is where can I be a little bit more
45:01Brave you know that that lands for me yeah so where can I be I always say you
45:07want to get me to do something all you have to do is say oh I bet you can’t you know fill in the blank it’s really easy
45:12so I know how to use that against myself like where can I be a little more Brave and it would really be around so much of
45:21diving deep in that personal development side of things which is people are
45:28somewhat shocked because I really am so much so much of a strategist and a business
45:34strategist as are you and yet this is the conversations
45:40what we end up with so diving into that sooner whatever that would have looked like um and a little bit more
45:47prly I love that I always I always enjoy our conversations I always learn so much and I think it is it’s those parts
45:54around you it’s planning for the known those bits that entrepreneurial Journey where you’re it it’s like pain like when
46:01you first start it out it’s like the worst game of tag you ever gonna play you are literally
46:06It Whatever the question um and then the you know that that that re realization
46:12that you know they they used to have an analogy over here where you know I know
46:17why he was named poor Fat Stanley so forgive me that that was his name but the Sunday School group went on a walk
46:22and little fat Stanley could only walk so fast so where did you put him did you put him at the front of the group the
46:29back of the group or the middle it’s like it doesn’t matter the group only goes as fast as Stanley Gres when you
46:35realize you are Stanley and you you’ve got you’ve got to
46:41do that work to be able to to move it through is both a Eureka moment and also
46:47a daunting next stage because you’re like oh I’ve got that to learn now as well everything else um and you that
46:55that finding the what works for you I love that the the where can I be brave where can I be brave finding that your
47:02trigger your trigger phrase isn’t it the one that you know is going to switch on
47:08that little bit of you that can always go a bit faster yeah absolutely absolutely Erin I love it we will have
47:15all of the contact details with you below but how can people get best get in touch with you and who can you best help
47:22awesome so the easy we make it real easy for you everything is at conquer
47:27yours.com so just go to the website conquerour bus.com and you can get to me
47:32and all my stuff a million different ways the person that I best help is the
47:38solopreneur entrepreneur who is trying to get over the bridge into becoming a
47:44business owner right they’ve created a business around themselves they’re doing
47:49the business but how do we then having created this personal brand
47:56how do we then keep the personal brand but add now a scalable self-managing
48:03business behind them so that they can really launch for what’s next I love
48:09that and that is so needed because that is where people can get so stuck isn’t it they do all of that work and then
48:15what they really need is someone to help them and see their own blind spots so that they can then address those blind
48:22spots because and I will promise you it’s not about doing more work it’s about doing different
48:29work and there right and it’s kind of like everything we talked about you only learn it by doing it so you haven’t done
48:35this yet so you don’t know how do I do different work allow myself to get over
48:42that bridge into a business owner not just a business doer I love that and
48:48Erin it’s been an absolute Joy until next time and take care and I look forward to speaking to you really soon
48:55thank you thank
49:02you
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