Embracing Resilience: Lessons from Marc Hoberman on Overcoming Adversity
In the latest episode of “Authentic Achievements,” the host engages in a profound conversation with Marc Hoberman, an educational consultant, bestselling author, motivational speaker, and the CEO and founder of Great Success Education. Marc’s journey is marked by resilience and transformation as he shares his experiences with epilepsy, his teaching career in challenging environments, and how he has turned his struggles into strengths. Marc’s extensive experience and success in the field of education and personal development make his insights on resilience particularly valuable. This blog post delves into the key themes and insights from the episode, offering actionable advice and thorough explanations to guide listeners on their own journeys of overcoming adversity.
Taking Control of Your Narrative
The Power of “Taking Back the Pen
Marc emphasises the idea of “taking back the pen” in our lives, suggesting that we often allow others to influence our thoughts and feelings, which can lead to a loss of agency. Kim encourages listeners to recognise that they are the authors of their own stories and actively reclaim that role. This metaphor serves as a potent reminder that we have the ability to shape our own lives, regardless of external circumstances.
Actionable Advice:
Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on your life and identify areas where you may have relinquished control to others. Journaling can be a helpful tool for this.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with those who may negatively influence your thoughts and feelings. Communicate your needs and stand firm in your decisions.
Positive Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to reinforce your role as the author of your own story. Remind yourself daily that you have the power to shape your narrative.
Overcoming Criticism and Self-Doubt
Focusing on the Positive
Marc shares his personal experiences with criticism and self-doubt, particularly in the context of his public speaking engagements. He recalls when he received overwhelmingly positive feedback from 98 attendees, yet the negative comments from just two individuals would trigger panic attacks. This highlights a common tendency to focus on the negative, which can be debilitating.
Actionable Advice:
Acknowledge Feelings: It is vital to acknowledge your feelings of self-doubt and criticism rather than suppressing them. This can help you process and move past them.
Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive individuals who can provide constructive feedback and encouragement.
Reframe Negative Thoughts: Practice reframing negative thoughts by focusing on the positive aspects of your experiences. For example, instead of dwelling on two negative comments, remind yourself of the 98 positive ones.
Building Resilience
Knowledge is Power
Marc discusses how he learned to cope with his health issues, including epilepsy and diabetes, by seeking information and support. He emphasises that while we cannot change the past or the challenges we face, we can control our attitudes and responses.
Actionable Advice:
Educate Yourself: Take the time to educate yourself about your challenges, whether they be health-related or emotional. Knowledge can empower you to make informed decisions and manage your responses effectively.
Develop Coping Strategies: Identify and develop coping strategies that work for you. This could include mindfulness practices, exercise, or seeking professional help.
Stay Positive: Focus on maintaining a positive attitude, even in adversity. This can help you navigate life’s ups and downs with greater ease.
The Importance of Making Choices
Focus on What You Can Control
Marc highlights that we make thousands of decisions every day, and each choice shapes our experiences. He encourages listeners to focus on what they can control, especially when overwhelmed.
Actionable Advice:
Prioritise: Identify the aspects of your life that you can control and prioritise them. This can help you stay grounded amidst the chaos.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices can help you stay present and focused on the things you can control. This can reduce feelings of overwhelm and anxiety.
Set Goals: Set realistic and achievable goals for yourself. This can provide a sense of direction and purpose, helping you stay focused on what you can control.
Embracing Resilience
Learning from Experience
The host expresses admiration for Marc’s ability to keep moving forward despite facing significant challenges. Marc reflects on a friend’s comment about his resilience, noting that he has learned to embrace the things he cannot control while actively seeking out what he can influence.
Actionable Advice:
Reflect on Past Experiences: Take time to reflect on your past experiences and identify the lessons you have learned. This can help you build resilience and apply those lessons to future challenges.
Embrace Change: Be open to change and view it as an opportunity for growth. This can help you adapt to new situations and build resilience.
Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive individuals who can encourage and guide you through challenges.
Advice to Younger Self
Learn More and Learn Faster
Towards the end of the conversation, the host asks Marc what advice he would give to his younger self. Marc’s response is insightful: he would encourage himself to learn more and learn faster. He emphasises the value of being reflective and open to learning from others.
Actionable Advice:
Be Curious: Cultivate a sense of curiosity and a desire to learn. This can help you stay open to new experiences and opportunities for growth.
Seek Mentorship: Seek out mentors who can provide guidance and support as you navigate your journey. Learning from others’ experiences can help you grow faster.
Reflect Regularly: Regularly take time to reflect on your experiences and identify areas for growth. This can help you stay focused on continuous improvement.
This episode of “Authentic Achievements” powerfully reminds us of the importance of resilience, self-advocacy, and the ability to shape our own narratives. Marc Hoberman’s journey is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the transformative power of knowledge and choice. By embracing these lessons and applying actionable advice, listeners can navigate challenges and turn their struggles into strengths.
Visit Marc’s website and Youtube, Instagram, Facebook Twitter LinkedIn or Grade Success for more resources and insights on education, leadership, and personal development. His work in education and corporate settings, focusing on study skills, stress reduction, and anti-bullying initiatives, continues to impact the lives of many positively.
Remember, while we cannot control every aspect of our lives, we can always control our attitude. Embrace your unique story, take back the pen, and let your resilience shine through.
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Transcript:
Automatically Transcribed With Podsqueeze
Kim-Adele Randall 00:00:06 Hello and welcome to today’s episode of Authentic Achievements, where it’s my absolute delight to be joined by the fabulous Mark Hoberman. Mark, welcome.
Marc Hoberman 00:00:16 Oh, thank you so much for having me.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:00:18 Oh, it’s our pleasure. And before we get stuck in and I know it’s going to be a fascinating conversation, let me share with the wider audience a little bit more about you. So Mark is an educational consultant, a bestselling author and a motivational speaker. He’s the CEO and founder of Great Success Education, is a certified life coach and an expert in SAT and Act test prep. His memoir earned top 50 Human Interest Stories of 2017 on WCBS radio. Marcus presented at schools, camps, parent groups and corporations. He shows Lighting the Educational Flame and Life Stories with Mark Hoberman have featured guests including presidential candidates, professional athletes, Grammy Award winning artists, Tony Award nominees and leading educators. From the classroom to the boardroom, Marc continues his passion for helping people reach their full potential. Mark. Wow. I mean, that’s quite that’s quite a lot that you’ve packed in.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:01:13 Could you bring that journey to life a little bit for us?
Marc Hoberman 00:01:16 Sure. So I started teaching. I think I was about 22 years old in the Bronx, New York. very tough neighborhood kids. many of them had, single family homes. through my whole career, 78% of my students have been free and reduced lunch. So it’s been a very needy, group of students, which I loved. they’re needy of love, the leading of attention and structure. but rewind. Sometimes we say fast forward, rewind. Probably six years before that, I lived in Yonkers, New York, for 16 years. Then my parents came in and said, dad is semi-retired. We’re going to Florida in three weeks. Well, you know, it was a little rough. I was, I had a lot of friends, I was popular, I was the, first clarinetist in the band. What a chick magnet. I mean, so cool. yeah, but, a little depressing. And I must have had the tendency.
Marc Hoberman 00:02:18 We didn’t know, but, I was visiting. I was with my cousin, visiting her brother, my other cousin. Very early in the morning, 5 a.m.. I said, let’s visit him at college. It’s a four hour ride. I want to get there at 9 a.m. and start today. I became a coherent on the ride and then pass the same exit three times. And, once we got towards, a toll booth, I had a full blown epileptic seizure. The beginning was the what we call the, petite, petite mal seizure. I didn’t know I had epilepsy, slammed on the, gas pedal, not the brake. I wasn’t. This is what my my cousin told me. I wasn’t officially conscious, and could have died if she didn’t steer us through the tollbooth. Came home two hours later with a diagnosis of epilepsy, and I’ll take him. The problem is that, I didn’t share it with anybody. You’re talking 40 years ago. A little more than that. And, that that was the problem I was suffering.
Marc Hoberman 00:03:17 I didn’t go to a psychiatrist, but I could tell you. Now, after being in education almost 40 years, I was depressed and, probably clinically depressed, very tough. Had seizures on the medication. didn’t tell anyone until I want to say 36, 37 years later when I wrote my memoir, Adversity to Turn Your Struggles into Strengths. So it’s not a book about, epilepsy. It’s a book about adversity. My adversity just had to be epilepsy. It could be from bullying. It could be from drug abuse. It could be from so many other things. And I’ve helped people and co-authored some other books. always nonfiction and really like self-help in that way. So the sadness in that was the sadness for others more than me. I did suffer, but when I was teaching, there were no health protocols as far as privacy. So we got big buckets that told us all about our students. And I saw that many of my students through the years had epilepsy. I saw three of them were on the same medication.
Marc Hoberman 00:04:17 I was on coming in suffering bleeding from the gums, from the side effects, and I was in my early 20s. But how selfish of me not to take them aside. I had a good rapport with the kids and say, hey, I know what you’re going through. I have it too. I saw it as a weakness, and it took me so long in life to realize it wasn’t a weakness, it was my superpower. I was able to do things and accomplish things and get through things faster and a little more easily than other people because of my experiences when I decided to, I started the book ten years before I published it. Life got in the way. But when my son came down with IBS, irritable bowel syndrome,
Marc Hoberman 00:04:54 Irritable.
Marc Hoberman 00:04:54 Bowel syndrome. My son Scott. I have a son, Craig. I have a son, Scott. Scott was suffering and my wife said, you know, you really helping him? You’re finding the right doctors, but you don’t seem very emotional about it.
Marc Hoberman 00:05:05 And I was very methodical because I suffered as a teen as well, and I was able to help my son when my parents really couldn’t help me. There were no books like mine. There was no internet. what what took me to months of going to libraries and learning about my illness? you could do in 45 minutes on the internet today, I went in the back room to the periodicals section, looked up stuff on microfiche. No one, no students who might know what that is, they think. Is that a small fish? No, not micro fish. It’s microfiche. They have no idea. So I did my due diligence then. But for two years my mother had had a stroke, when she was 39. Very strong woman. And when I was diagnosed, she said, listen, you’re a good looking boy. You have friends, you’re funny. And guess what? You’re also an epileptic and it’s going to keep you grounded. You’re going to learn from it. And I did follow her advice, but not for many years later, and I need to shortcut it for other people that eventually the book got me on a podcast.
Marc Hoberman 00:06:00 Radio shows you read from CBS radio in 2017. Get my book The Best Top 50 Human Interest Stories of that year. The accolades were great and everything, but really helping people was more important than I was on 7080 podcasting radio shows. And finally I got a publicist and she said, why don’t you do your own podcast? You’re on talk show. I said, no, I don’t want to be on camera, and thank you very much. And she said, you got to do it. You got to do it. I did 2 or 3 that were terrible. Then you find your own way, and I really loved it. And I have life stories with Mark Hoberman and, had celebrities. I’ve had people who’ve suffered. Mine isn’t Hollywood ish. It’s more tell us the story behind the glory. So long winded answer, but that was a 40 something year answer, so I shortened it for you.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:06:47 Wow, I love that. And there’s so, so many bits in there that. Yeah, I’d love loved it to delve into.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:06:53 I mean, particularly that you, you know, what you’ve taken from from that incident and, and then having to come to terms with it first. So, you know, you shared that, you know, although you did have epilepsy and you could see with the children in the early days and you had the rapport, but you weren’t at that point ready to admit yours and, and therefore step into that space of, of helping them, because that I would imagine, could have felt like an additional vulnerability, like, you know, sharing that when you’re just coming to terms with it yourself. But the fact that you overcame that and you wrote the book, and then we’re able to utilize your lived experience to support, Scott with his lived experience, which, whilst different there were so many then, must have brought so much back for you because of Knowing how you felt with with a diagnosis and all the challenges that come around that in those, in those crucial teenage years which already come with so much for, for, for our children to have to, navigate and kind of learn and come and understand.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:08:11 And as parents, we want to protect them from all of that, don’t we? And when we see them going through something that where we’ve had a similar experience, being able to help him must’ve felt like a real gift from the challenges that you’d faced in the past.
Marc Hoberman 00:08:28 Well, definitely. And you touched on a lot of things there. there’s the physical aspect of the illness and the emotional. The physical. Thank God wouldn’t have killed me. The emotional could have. Yeah. Because, listen, you know, I when I was about 26, the doctor said, you know, you probably had your first seizure when you were 13. I fell down in the basement of our apartment building, but we didn’t. Nobody saw it, so they didn’t know it was a seizure. They thought I was sick and it was too hot in the laundry room or whatever. But he said we should experiment with taking you off the medication. If you don’t have a seizure for 16 or 18 months, it means you’re seizure free.
Marc Hoberman 00:09:05 Went off the medication. and 16 months went by. Nothing. I went to school one day, became incoherent because I wasn’t under the protection of the medication. Had a full blown seizure. Normally it’s an hour or two with a petite mouth, so my parents would know the warning was there. You only had a 2 or 3 minute warning because I wasn’t on medication, and I had the full blown seizure in the school. It was in the Bronx. I fell down, chipped. My tooth was bleeding. They closed the school for an hour, and the police had to show up because they thought that I was stabbed, because I didn’t put on my medical report as a teacher, that I had epilepsy. And that was God’s way of telling me. Maybe you could tell people now, and I still did not. I came back and I told people it was a bad reaction to a medication. That was my chance to do it. So, you know, shame on me for that. But I guess better late than never.
Marc Hoberman 00:09:53 But, helping parents through this. That’s why my tutoring agency takes on a different education space at different turn. Because I have that sixth sense. I know when people are suffering, I know to help them, can help everybody. But I know what’s going on, especially in that teenage brain. And you said it yourself so much, angst, hormones as a teenager. Moving on three weeks notice. And then in states that was certain laws in Florida, you couldn’t drive unless you were a seizure free for six months. Now, there were times I was seizure free for six months, but not in a row. So, you know, having that 1977 gorgeous, Mustang in the driveway that I couldn’t drive. You walk outside every day, and it’s a constant reminder to your brain. Very difficult. Had there been a book like this or somebody I knew, like me or the internet and blogs and things I could do to research it. Or if my parents I mean, when I was about to hit the the post button to say the book was out, my wife came down.
Marc Hoberman 00:10:57 She said, you’ve been staring at the screen for 30 minutes. What are you doing? I said, nobody knows I have this. When I hit the button, a thousand people are going to know I had relatives. My aunt called me. Oh, Mark, you’re such a great fiction writer. Who knew I said this isn’t fiction. So what do you mean it’s not fiction? You don’t have epilepsy? I said, yes, I do. My father, her brother never told her because it was Pooh poohed then. And quite honestly, it was seen by a weakness by by people. And, you know, to have almost 40 years have you realize that your strength is not easy. But at least we got here.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:11:32 But I think I think often, you know, life only really makes sense in the rearview mirror. It’s only when we look back that we can go, okay. So that’s why that happened and that happened, and that’s why these bits came together. And I think, you know, we like to belong.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:11:48 We like to fit in because everybody, you know, society’s telling us we should fit in, we should belong, we should be the same. And so if we ever have anything about us, that means we we might not, we can be prone to try and hide that, to try and mask it. Try and, you know, hope nobody finds out under the under the proverbial carpet. But actually, to your point, once we once we own it and acknowledge it, we realize actually that is our unique strength. That is our gift in the world. And and you said, you know, when you had the the second seizure and chipped your tooth, you thought, you know, maybe that was God’s way of saying, you’ve got to do something now. And even though you still didn’t take that, I think often, you know, what I’ve identified in life is, you know, if you don’t take the lesson, it’ll get repeated. It’s like, come on, I, I’m trying to show you something here, here, here.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:12:41 and that can be like, can be frustrating. And then when you do, when you do get there, you can look back and go, well, I should have done this sooner. but actually, how many people don’t get there at all? So so I know you said, you know, shame on you for not doing it sooner, but actually, I would say be proud of yourself that you did get there, that you did take that leap. because it doesn’t matter how long it took us, what matters that we get where we’re supposed to go, doesn’t it? And that we and that we learn from from that, and that you’re able to now take that lived experience and help other people. with more of a you made me smile when you talk about microfiche. I remember that from from doing homework when I was younger. But you know, anybody I talk to you now, say, on a site like, yes, I’m not I’m not old. but I mean, that’s kind of part of why we get into these things, isn’t it? Doing podcasts or doing the books is to say, well, it might have taken you 40 years to learn this, but you can now distill it in 40 minutes.
Marc Hoberman 00:13:42 Oh, definitely. And I guess I felt guilty here because I was dealing with young people. Yeah, I’ve since expanded, so I do a lot of corporate training, school training and also day camps and, and, but a lot of times I’m training the adults, I’m training the teachers, and the corporate obviously are training the CEOs and, the salespeople and the team as well. But, these experiences help me impart the information. And that’s a little different from some other consultants or presenters and things of that nature. And plus the teaching aspect has a little twist as well.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:14:15 Yeah, I love that because I think, you know, the one thing that connects us all and kind of, is that we teach and we learn through stories. So when we can share a lived experience, our story, it makes it easier for people to understand the lessons that are in there. And then you’ve obviously got that additional piece of having taught for so many years. So you’ve got all of the you’ve got all of the teaching knowledge and, and all of that information as well as this ability to bring that to life in a way that people are going to be able to take on board and then action for the, for themselves.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:14:51 so, I mean, you’ve you’ve learnt loads from, from doing your, coaching and teaching and consulting. And I’m interested as well with your podcasts. What would you say you’ve learned from creating and hosting Life Life Stories with Mark Hoberman?
Marc Hoberman 00:15:07 Yeah, we’re all more similar than we are different. I’ve had Academy Award winners on the show, you know, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees. And when I ask the question, what’s the story behind the glory? What’s the struggle? You really can’t believe it. Everybody thinks the glitz and the glamour. They woke up here I am. Where’s my movie set? And there’s just so many no’s and there’s so much rejection. And you have to have perseverance and you can’t let people get in your head. So, I everybody what I’ve learned most is everybody from whatever walks of life I’ve had, Olympians and athletes. They all have a journey. And, nobody has all positive experiences. Nobody has all negative experiences. How you handle them, your attitude. That’s where the gold is.
Marc Hoberman 00:15:55 And I really try to help people learn that sooner rather than later. But the show has really helped me connect with people on a different level. I was like a celebrity stalker. if I saw celebrity, I was diving for that leg. Give me a picture. Give me an autograph. I’m still impressed with them, but they’re just like us. And it’s not just celebrities. I’ve had other people who are not world renowned and not even well known, but have such amazing stories and also help people. I have authors who have a lot of self-help books, so, it’s great to see so many people out there, but we’re so similar, whether we’re you’re in one country, I’m in, I’m in the United States. It doesn’t matter. People are people.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:16:36 I love that it’s so true. I think deep down we are. We are all the same and we have different elements. But there is a lot of commonalities. And I think for me, that’s been one of the beauties of doing this show, is, is actually identifying how many commonalities there are, as well as the differences and being able to embrace both.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:16:55 And that kind of helps us all fit in better, doesn’t it? And and feel that, that better sense of belonging that, I think we’re all seeking and sometimes we try and find that by fitting a particular mold, but actually we can instead learn to grow into that space where we can, where we fit in because we’ve got an element of commonality, and also that we’ve got an element of individuality, and that the two together make this make the collective greater. And so what would you say, Mark has been your greatest lesson so far in your journey?
Marc Hoberman 00:17:36 there’s been a couple, but they they all gelled together. So the mantra of my on my book and a lot of my talks, if I talk about overcoming adversity, is don’t let your struggles define you. You define you. it wasn’t until I made epilepsy, my friend. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer that that I started to learn more. Also, you can’t let people rent space in your head. And in my years, I would let people rent space with an option to buy.
Marc Hoberman 00:18:10 I mean, they took a big rental property. and you can’t allow that. And it’s it’s so easy. But then. But once you see how well it works, then that’s where the magic comes in. So, you know, really learning from your mistakes, learning from others. scientifically, it’s not possible to listen if you’re talking, you can’t do both. So I do a lot of talking to a lot of talk on these shows. I do a lot of talking in presentations. Most of mine are interactive, but it’s really the biggest thing I learned is I say to people, here’s the terrible news, here’s the great news, the terrible news. You can never, ever control everything. Never. Here’s the great news. You can always control your attitude about everything. So that’s when and I’m still changing. So those are the things that jelled together. And quite honestly, if you see here is a little ray of light coming in. I left that there on purpose because some people don’t let the ray in.
Marc Hoberman 00:19:16 They like to focus on the negativity and some people get good at it. And some people I don’t want to say in a sick way, in a, sad way. Thrive off of the sadness sometimes and thrive off of, wallowing in self-pity, which is very easy to do. I did it for two years as a teen. My parents did it. We didn’t have the internet. We didn’t have. People couldn’t help us with the struggle. They didn’t know we had. We didn’t tell anybody. So, it’s a long answer, but it’s it’s kind of shaped my life and helps me shape the life of other people. I bring it into my training and to the corporate world and to the school setting.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:19:53 I love that, you know. Always reminds one of my favorite quotes is I’m not a victim of my circumstance. I’m a product of my choices because I think in everything we have choice, even if that choice is only how we choose to behave. you know, we might not be able to choose anything else, but there is always something we can choose, which is very often our attitude.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:20:12 And that’s the bit that’s that speaks volumes about us, isn’t it? Is that the piece that, like, is the only real thing that we’ve got? that’s in our gift to be, and so I love that, you know, in the, in, in the journey that you’ve had in the lessons that you’ve had, it’s, taking back the pen. I loved that a lot, letting people, not letting people, rent space or take over the parts of your head. I’ve often believed that we should be the author of our own life, but every now and again, we need to remember that and take back the pen. Go! Hold on. That’s not. That’s not the story I want to write for this. And actually, I don’t need you in my head. I need to get back in my own head and make that journey. But how do you do that? How do you take back that pen? How do you kick out those renters and go write your your your tenancy is now over.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:21:05 and I’m moving back in.
Marc Hoberman 00:21:07 Yes. Excellent question. So I will tell you it’s phenomenally easy after you. It’s been phenomenally difficult. So nothing this powerful can happen overnight. But it doesn’t take years and years, but it takes many months because, you know, if I gave a presentation in 98, people emailed me and said, my God, the best presentation I ever saw, I loved it. And two people said I was bored. I would almost have a panic attack. I mean, who does that? 98 two. You’re not going to please everybody. That was always very difficult. so you have to implement it in every single situation. If a family member gets sick, I go into help mode. What can I do? Don’t don’t wallow in it. information is king. Knowledge is power. So I didn’t know anything about epilepsy other than the fact that I had it. So I didn’t know anything about IBS, irritable bowel syndrome that my son had until we looked it up and learned about it.
Marc Hoberman 00:22:06 So let the rea in, let others in. But you start to learn. You can’t forget it. You can’t say, oh, that friendship’s over. I can’t believe how it ended and wallow in that. You have to take it, discuss it in your own brain. Have you time to wallow or be upset and then put it in the rearview mirror Mira folder because something wonderful is going to happen tomorrow. Something bad is also possibly going to happen tomorrow. This is what life is. But again, you can always control your attitude and knowing that knowing that what happened over here, it happens. I can’t unmake it happen. How much am I going to let it take over my life? And then in the beginning, sometimes these thoughts still do get into your head. But where’s that finish line? And as you start to chip away, these things come. As you start to learn to do this, it becomes automatic. I’m lucky that I, my mother gave me all gifts. She gave me epilepsy because her uncle had it.
Marc Hoberman 00:23:10 I have diabetes, my mother had diabetes. I’m in very good control. I’m on the same two medication for 12 years. Why am I not on insulin? Because I went to nutritionists. Because I went to people who told me how much to exercise. And I went, to learn more about how I can make it better. So I’m on the same two pills for years, as I said. But when I was diagnosed with diabetes, I’m telling you, this is the truth. It was the same that the doctor said to me, pass the ketchup. It meant nothing to me because I knew that, okay, I’m going to find out. Whatever this is, it is. I’m not going to unmake it. But how can I make this, not debilitating? What do I have to do to make it better? So because of my experiences with being diagnosed as a teen, very difficult. I can put these things in the correct category and I can really control my attitude. Do I take a step or two back? I’m supposed to be an expert in this? Sure I do.
Marc Hoberman 00:24:08 I sometimes take four steps back, but the resilience kicks in and you talk about choices. another business I have is the Power of Choices with my partner, Daniel Echevarria. And we go into schools and we help people with choices. Everything is a choice. You make 10,000 decisions a day. When you reach for the pen, your brain is saying, should I reach for this pen? So, it takes time, but it starts to become a superpower, and you’re almost laughing inside that. Hey, I’m going to be able to handle this when you’re new. Ten years ago, you wouldn’t be out of bed for three days.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:24:41 I love that because I think you are taking that learned experience and then, you know, utilizing it. I remember having a friend of mine wouldn’t say to me, I can’t decide if you’re incredibly strong or incredibly stupid, but whenever anything went really horribly wrong, things that you illnesses or that would probably flaw people is you just keep going. And I said, well, I’ve realized that there’s lots of things I can’t control.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:25:04 So what I do in a situation where I can’t control anything else is look at what thing can I control, right, and do that as I cling to that thing like it’s the life raft in the messy waters of my brain. Right. until for Lena, if you find another thing that you can do. Mark, it’s been such a delight. And I want to make sure we get a chance to share with the audience how they connect with you. So you’ve already shared such amazing insight and lived experience. For which I’m super grateful. But can I ask you if you could go back and ask your younger self for some advice or what would it be?
Marc Hoberman 00:25:41 great question. It would have to be to learn more, learn faster. And I’m a teacher. I’m not speaking academically. Learn from others. understand that you will never have all the answers, but all the answers are out there. So, I would have been more reflective. I would have jumped into, strong attitude and coping mode, but I didn’t have those coping mechanisms.
Marc Hoberman 00:26:10 And I’ve done this for people who were 12 years old when it comes to certain, you know, tutoring and stuff. So certainly, don’t hold back. And it’s okay to show your weaknesses. Not easy for adults or kids, because at the end of the day, what you have to learn is if people make fun of you, if people don’t accept you for who you are. Good. You did a good thing. You shortcut it. Better to find out now than eight years from now when you really need them.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:26:37 I love that that whole piece around trusting yourself and being being okay to be who you are without the fear that that means you won’t fit in. And I loved that part as well about, that it’s okay to learn early. You know, some people, some people are, you know, here for the book. Some people are here for a chapter, some people are here for a couple of pages. And actually, once we understand that it all, it all makes sense.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:27:07 Then actually we can we can be more in control of how much in how much negative emotion we allow to to creep in versus how we take away the lessons and, and focus on the where next. So, Mark, how can how can people get in touch with you? And who do you help?
Marc Hoberman 00:27:28 Sure. So they can go to info at Grade success.com. and I have two websites that would be very helpful for academics. It would be, grade success.com. That’s that’s the tutoring company behind me. but then a very, informative site is, Mark hoberman.com Mark Hobb urman.com. So the education aspect takes on many different roles. The great success education is really the tutoring. academic life coaching, SAT prep, Act prep college essays, things like that. But then it’s the umbrella over what I do in schools, which is, study skills for health and wellness and to reduce stress. That’s for the kids. I do classroom management for, for teachers and lesson planning. But I’m having a lot of fun with is.
Marc Hoberman 00:28:17 And I do a lot of anti-bullying, too, is being in the corporate sector. And I finally realized a few years ago that the 45 year old bully is the same bully he was when he was 11. He’s just got a little bit more of a gut and more power and became a little bit meaner. So I do a lot of that. But what I really am enjoying is, is working on a book. I’m working on the power of leadership loyalty, which is, you know, it’s going to be seven pillars of how to ignite your team. I love team building. That’s from my camp experiences in school. I love communication skills and really show teaching CEOs back and forth that if you think you value your workers, your employees, but they don’t think you do, then you don’t. So so perception is reality. So I love that training and the reason I do like it, Kim, I’ll tell you this in closing, is that I deliver it as a as a teacher. So everything’s interactive.
Marc Hoberman 00:29:14 I’m not plug and play because if you plug and play in the schools I taught and they would either, you know, fall asleep or jump out the window. So, that’s kind of the people that I help. It’s all under that improvement of a company, improvement of yourself, improvement of your attitude and habits.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:29:30 I love that. I love the fact that actually, you know, the 45 year old is just the is just the bully growing up. And I think that is for all of us. We are all just our own unhealed inner child. Unless we continue to do the work on how we develop that. And I’ll make sure that obviously in the notes below, for everybody watching and listening, there will be all of those contact details of how you can connect with Mark and and work together. Mark, it’s been an absolute joy. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing such insight.
Marc Hoberman 00:29:58 Thank you so much. I’ll also see you at Mark hoban.com, the books that I’ve written and co-authored.
Marc Hoberman 00:30:02 So thank you so much for having me on your thoughtful questions. It was really great speaking with you. Thank you.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:30:07 Bless you. Thank you. And to everybody listening and watching. I hope you found it as interesting, insightful and inspiring as I have. And until next time, take care.