Living Intentionally: Insights from James Brackin IV on Personal Development and Coaching on “Authentic Achievements”
In a recent “Authentic Achievements” episode, the host conversed profoundly with James Brackin IV, a podcast host and personal coach. James shared his journey of overcoming personal challenges and emphasised the importance of living intentionally. This blog post delves into the key themes discussed in the episode, offering actionable advice and expert insights to guide listeners on their path to personal growth and intentional living.
The episode begins with a warm welcome from the host, who introduces James Brackin IV, highlighting his impressive podcasting and personal coaching background. The conversation centres around James’s journey, the significance of intentional living, and the transformative power of coaching.
James’s Journey: A Catalyst for Intentional Living
James recounts a pivotal moment in his life—the loss of several family members at a young age. This experience instilled in him a deep understanding of the importance of living intentionally and not deferring dreams or goals to an uncertain future. He emphasises that many people live as if they have all the time in the world, often postponing their aspirations. This realisation led him to hire a coach at just 17, a significant investment for him financially but ultimately transformative.
Key Takeaways:
Live with Intention: Don’t wait for the perfect moment to pursue your dreams. Start now.
Invest in Yourself: Hiring a coach or seeking mentorship can provide valuable external perspectives and accelerate your growth.
The Importance of Intentional Living
The host resonates with James’s perspective, noting that many people live reactively rather than proactively. Instead of embracing the present, they often prioritise saving for a future that may never come. James agrees, stating that living with intention requires effort and a conscious decision to take control of one’s life narrative.
Actionable Tips:
Set Clear Goals: Define what you want to achieve and create a plan to get there.
Prioritise Your Time: Focus on activities that align with your goals and values.
Reflect Regularly: Take time to assess your progress and adjust as needed.
Getting Started with Intentional Living
James suggests that investing in oneself is a crucial first step. He acknowledges that while it’s easy to support others, being one’s cheerleader is often challenging. He advocates for seeking external perspectives—whether through coaches, mentors, or supportive friends—who can help individuals see their potential and overcome obstacles.
Practical Steps:
Seek Support: Find a coach, mentor, or supportive community to guide you.
Commit to Continuous Learning: Invest in courses, books, and experiences contributing to your growth.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
The Role of Coaching in Personal Development
The conversation shifts to the transformative power of coaching in personal development. James explains that coaching is not about providing all the answers but asking the right questions. He emphasises that everyone has their answers within them, and a good coach can help clients uncover those insights, empowering them to take control of their personal growth journey.
Benefits of Coaching:
Accountability: A coach can help you stay on track and committed to your goals.
External Perspective: Coaches provide unbiased feedback and new viewpoints.
Personalised Guidance: Coaching is tailored to your unique needs and challenges.
The Power of Vulnerability
James discusses the significance of creating a safe space for vulnerability. He believes that when individuals feel safe to express themselves, they can explore their true potential. The host agrees, noting that often, people are unaware of their blind spots and need someone to help illuminate those areas.
Embracing Vulnerability
Create Safe Spaces: Surround yourself with people who support and encourage open dialogue.
Be Honest with Yourself: Acknowledge your fears and challenges without judgment.
Use Vulnerability as a Strength: Sharing your struggles can lead to deeper connections and personal growth.
Permission and Reminders
James introduces the concept that coaching provides both permission and reminders—many struggle to give themselves permission to pursue their dreams or take risks. A coach can help clients recognise their worth and capabilities while reminding them of their progress and potential when they feel low.
Implementing Permission and Reminders:
Give Yourself Permission: Allow yourself to dream big and take risks.
Set Regular Check-Ins: Schedule regular sessions with a coach or mentor to stay motivated.
Use Affirmations: Remind yourself of your strengths and achievements daily.
Experiential Learning
The discussion also touches on the nature of experience and wisdom. James argues that wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age but rather from the willingness to experiment and learn from various life experiences.
Learning Through Experience:
Embrace New Experiences: Step out of your comfort zone and try new things.
Reflect on Lessons Learned: Reflect on what each experience teaches you.
Share Your Knowledge: Teach others what you’ve learned to reinforce your understanding.
As the episode wraps up, the host and James reflect on the importance of being brave and fearless in pursuing personal growth. They emphasise that everyone can change and grow and that seeking help through coaching or supportive relationships can be a powerful catalyst for transformation.
Final Thoughts:
Be Brave: Don’t let fear hold you back from pursuing your dreams. This message instils a sense of courage and determination in the audience, encouraging them to take bold steps towards their personal growth.
Seek Support: Surround yourself with people who encourage and challenge you.
Commit to Growth: Embrace the journey of self-discovery and intentional living.
This episode of “Authentic Achievements” offers valuable insights into personal development, the importance of self-awareness, and the transformative power of coaching. James Brackin IV’s journey inspires listeners to take charge of their lives, trust their instincts, and seek the support they need to achieve their goals.
Connect with James:
Connect with James on YouTube or Instagram and check out the You Can Too Podcast
Stay Connected with Authentic Achievements:
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Transcript: Automatically Transcribed With Podsqueeze
Kim-Adele Randall 00:00:07 Hello and welcome to today’s episode of Authentic Achievements, where it’s my very great privilege to be joined by the fabulous James Brackin in the fourth. James, welcome.
James Brackin IV 00:00:16 It is so great to be with you. Thank you for having me.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:00:19 I’m so looking forward to this. I mean, we’ve been chatting behind the scenes for a while, but before we get stuck in, as I know we really can, let me tell the audience a little bit more about you. So James is also a podcast host. He’s the host of the fabulous You Can Do a podcast sharing inspiring stories from some of the most exceptional thought leaders on the planet, including Hollywood medium Tyler Henry, Seth Godin, and Gary Brecher. He’s also a personal coach, helping entrepreneurs get out of their way and help support leaders impact more people. I love that, James, because I think that’s one of the one of the biggest challenges, isn’t it, is how do we stop holding ourselves back? How do we how do we become our own cheerleader when we’re very often very good at being cheerleaders for other people? So can you tell us more about your journey so far and what got you here?
James Brackin IV 00:01:09 Yeah, absolutely.
James Brackin IV 00:01:10 Great introduction. There’s so many pathways that can go down from that. I think the one that I often start with on most podcasts I go on is I lost a lot of family, really young in an unexpected way. My father and uncle both passed at 37. My grandfather passed a few months before his retirement. And so in an unexpected way, it really helped me realize how intentional I wanted to live a life and not put things off until a later date, because I don’t even know if a later date is going to come. And we know that. And it’s hard for us to really conceive because we can’t imagine what life is like after death. I think a lot of us live like we’re not going to die, even though we know we’re going to die, but we can’t conceptualize it, so we don’t live like it. And so that was the intention. And so I hired a coach when I was really young, at 17, invested more money than I had in my bank account just to go down a path I knew that was going to lead me to where I wanted to go, and it led me down so many different pathways, from coaching to podcasting to working with thought leaders like you say, and so many different things.
James Brackin IV 00:02:04 But that’s the core of why I kind of moved down this path.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:02:07 I love that, I think sometimes, life gives us something that ensures that we understand the intent in the need to be intentional. because very often we’re not, are we? We’re kind of putting it off, so. Well, I’ll do that when I’ll do that, when I think we’ve got life backwards. You know, we’re all saving for retirement that we’re not promised we’re going to have, instead of living in the living in the here and now and living with that intention. And I think for me, that’s the bit I’m hearing quite a lot recently and from various people seems to be the new word is actually whatever we’re doing, we’re doing it intentionally. We’re doing it with purpose, with forethought. And and that takes effort, doesn’t it takes effort to move from a life of living the way society has always done to actually now taking back control of the pen and being the author of your own life. So how did how would you recommend people get started if if that sounds interesting to them?
James Brackin IV 00:03:07 Yeah, it’s a great frame that you use.
James Brackin IV 00:03:09 I think for me what was powerful was investing in myself. So I think like you said, it’s really easy to be a cheerleader for other people, but it’s really difficult to be a cheerleader for ourselves. I think the same thing goes with the problems that we face. It’s really difficult to overcome the problems when we’re so close to them. I think that’s why an external perspective, whether that’s a coach, a mentor, accountability buddy, just a friend, whoever it may be, someone that can see something in you that you can’t see in yourself is the kind of way that I like to see it. I mean, we’ve all had it, whether it was a coach that we had growing up, or maybe it was one of our parents. We’ve always had someone that could see something in us we can’t see in ourselves. And I think it’s really powerful because on those days where we don’t feel like showing up, where we want to revert back to the person that we used to be, instead of going forward and creating a life that we really, truly love.
James Brackin IV 00:03:53 I think it’s really powerful to have someone outside of you to help you see a different perspective of your own problems, because when you’re so close to them, it’s really hard to overcome them. But if we were telling someone else the advice that we need to give to ourselves, it’d be really easy because it’s not on us. And so I think for me, what was really powerful was investing into myself, because for a lot of people that they thought, that’s when the work ends, you know, you, you spend a lot of money and you buy a course, you get into a coaching program, whatever it is, that’s when the work ends. Because, well, I just made that investment. For me. It was this realization of that’s when the work started. That’s when things really started to happen, because I invested more money than I had in my bank account, like I genuinely needed to find a way to make more money so that I could even pay that off just to begin with.
James Brackin IV 00:04:32 And so putting my back against the wall, taking on more than I can handle, was something that really, for more than anything, really changed my life because it made me see a different version of myself and show up as a different version of myself. Because I had to. I gave myself up. No other option. Now, for some people, that’s not the best route that they can take, but that for me, that’s that’s what worked.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:04:50 I live that I think sometimes for some people, as you say, it has to be when the platform is already burning. You’ve kind of got to make that leap. And I know you know, I’m a single mum to a seven year old, and that’s been a game changer because I look at things now and go, but if I don’t do this, then I’m letting her down or I’m showing her that actually it’s okay to not keep going. It’s okay to stop developing. And and you put it so eloquently, you know, the work doesn’t doesn’t end once you’ve got the course.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:05:18 It’s the start and the start of what becomes, I think, almost a lifelong journey into learning, doesn’t it? Every day, my nan used to say, every day is a school day. So an every day we should learn something. And my granddad used to say, live each day as if it’s your last and one day you’ll be right. And I think between the two of them, they pretty much nailed life. Yeah, yeah. You’ve got to keep learning and you can’t put off until tomorrow. And you and I don’t know if you found it. I sometimes find it when I’m coaching clients. You say something and you’re like, that’s really good advice. We’re not taking it. That little voice in my head that just reminds me sometimes that actually I have to take my own medicine. If I’m telling other people that I’m coaching this, you do it. You have to have that reflection. So why is it that you do what you do?
James Brackin IV 00:06:06 Yeah, it’s funny that you say that because I think, like of all of the authors that I’ve had on my show and people that I’ve spoken to, most authors are writing the book that they need to hear most.
James Brackin IV 00:06:16 It’s the problem that they’ve dove into the most in their life, and so they have the most authority to talk about it, but it doesn’t mean that they’ve overcome it completely. So that’s something that’s it’s so true. Why I do what I do is, on top of losing a lot of family, it really put me down a path of depression, anxiety and just a a place where, you know, I didn’t really want to wake up, to be completely honest with you, early on in my life and going down that path to where I’m at now, like you said, I mean, school start started for me after high school, funnily enough, because I started reading books and understanding things that I never could possibly imagine the story that I tell myself, the way that I can show up for myself. The psychology, neuroscience, like so many things that just really changed the direction of my life. And I think for so many people, we need the information to start. But then we need the accountability and we need reminders to keep going.
James Brackin IV 00:07:03 I think a coach I had on my podcast a while ago brought up the fact that coaching is is permission and reminders, and I think for a lot of people, I think that’s the best way that I’ve ever heard it framed. Because first off, as as a coach, humans, we need permission. We could give it to ourselves realistically, but it’s so difficult for us to tell ourselves, yeah, like you have the permission to take this leap. You have the permission to do this thing because we’re just always going to get in our own way. It goes back to that. Then we need reminders, because the one thing that every single human does is we forget. We forget of our infinite capability, we forget are about how like there’s days where we feel amazing, and then there’s days where we feel the worst. Like life is not a constant. It’s either going really high or really low. And on those days where you’re feeling really low, you need a reminder, and sometimes it’s just a little bit of a reminder to help you kind of see again, something that you can’t see in yourself, that someone else can see in you.
James Brackin IV 00:07:56 And so through coaching, I realized really early on how like empowering that really is for me. And so if I can do that for other people, man, it’s it’s amazing. And like you said earlier, is a lot of the time we need to hear it for ourselves, the advice we’re giving to someone else. But funny enough, most of the time I’m on a coaching call. I’m not giving any advice, but I’m just giving what’s downloaded to me in the moment. It’s just the same with the podcast. It’s like, I don’t even want to know anything that’s going to go on with the podcast, because what’s ever going to is going to come through, it’s going to come through me, and that’s going to happen through the podcast. So that’s a little bit.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:08:28 Yeah, I love that because I think that is so true. And I think, you know, for me, sometimes, you know, you’re so intently listening. And what I find is that people inadvertently are telling you their own answer.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:08:41 Yeah. They just can’t hear it yet. because we have blind spots for a reason, don’t we? We’re blind to them. So, you know, even if they’re glaringly obvious to everybody else, if we can’t see them, we can’t see them. And that’s when somebody needs to help us and kind of like shine a light on those, help us see what they can see. because again, I think we often get confused with the fact that we live in a world of polarity. So for every up letter down, for every left, there’s a right. So just because I’m right doesn’t make you wrong, and just because you’re right doesn’t make me wrong. We’re just viewing things from a slightly different perspective. And once we’re open to the conversation and to being curious about what can you see that I can’t see and what can I see that you can’t see? And what can we collectively do together? And that’s when you really start to see barriers breaking down for people. Don’t you start to see them go, actually, yeah.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:09:34 No I could I could do that. And I love your piece around, the permission piece because I’ve often found one of the when I was leading teams, you know, the biggest breakthrough was when you gave people permission to be part of the solution. So instead of boxing them in and telling what they’d got to do, actually opening it up and going, you’re you’re as, as required as I am to solve this and your, your thoughts and your suggestions are equally valid as mine. So let’s talk about them. Let’s explore them. Let’s be curious about them, and see what gets channelled through it. I love that that’s what you was you’re saying with the podcast as well. It’s just been really open to that conversation and being really present so that you can genuinely really listen, and see what flows through that. Is that what inspires you to hear, like to be able to help people, to hear their own hidden truth?
James Brackin IV 00:10:32 Yeah, I think so. I think when I realized when I got into coaching, I think a lot of people think it’s I’m just giving advice.
James Brackin IV 00:10:39 And as a 17 year old, what advice do I have to give? I’ve barely lived any life, right? One of my first coaches told me was that two things that really, really resonate with me deeply to this day. One, that you do a disservice by not bringing your unique gifts into the world. And so I never I don’t have all the advice in the world. If I, if I did, I’d be in like everything would be perfect in my life. But what I do have is an ability to create a space for people to be vulnerable and open. I found that a lot, and it’s something that I just hope I can provide for everyone that I meet, whoever it is, whether it’s a client or someone I just meet as I’m walking. The other part was that you don’t need to have the answers, you just need to have the questions right. And so, like you said, every single one of us have our own answers. A coach is not saying that you’re further along in life or you have more experience or none of that.
James Brackin IV 00:11:26 It’s just a mirror. It’s it’s helping you see something because you have your own answers. And I tell that with clients. And so they’d say, well, why am I working with you? Well, it’s because if you could generate those answers yourself, well, you would have done it already. You already would be where you’d like to be, having someone outside of you to help you, you know, ask those insightful questions that you know you’re afraid of asking. And I think a lot of the time it’s what role am I playing that I don’t want to admit? When you have a coach, they can help you see that. And so, it was just it’s so powerful for me that I realized that, I mean, I would be doing a disservice if I wasn’t bringing that into the world, no matter the fear or insecurity or imposter syndrome that was coming up. Am I going to let that stop me from helping people? No.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:12:07 I love that because it is having to get over yourself, isn’t it, to, to go? Actually, I just want to help.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:12:12 And yeah, I remember many years ago somebody saying to me, oh, you’re a coach, so you think you’re better than me? And I was like, no, absolutely not, I said, but every top athlete, every top politician, every top actor, actress, every top business person has got a coach. And, you know, if they were actually better, if the coach were better than the person they were coaching, it be their name we know. Right. And that’s not the point. So the point is they can stand behind you and say you want to run. You’re an ever up so slightly to the left, and if you could just straighten that, you’d probably improve your time. and they’re like, oh, I never thought of that. I said, yeah, that’s all they’re here to do is help you to your point. Hold that mirror up. Be able to go. Actually, here’s the bit you can’t see or and you put it. so, so eloquently the almost the what are the questions I don’t want to ask myself.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:13:04 because you can stop asking yourself those ones because I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll put that on my little pending pile. But if you’ve got a coach, an accountability buddy, or a good friend that you trust, they’re not going to let you put it on the pending pile. Are they? They’re going to hold it up and go, you know, like you’ve kicked that can down the road a couple too many times. You now need to pick it up and look at it. Is that what you’ve found?
James Brackin IV 00:13:29 Absolutely. It’s funny. it brings up a lot of the time when, when I first started coaching with people, there was a client that every now and again he’d hop on the call and he would just. I’d ask him if he took action on his action steps from last week, and he would try to lie. And as soon as he was lying of giving an excuse of why he didn’t do it or whatever it was, he’d catch himself and he started laughing. Because he can’t lie like you.
James Brackin IV 00:13:50 Just you’re lying to yourself at that point. And so you’re right. It’s it’s just having someone that’s there for you that wants you to be your best self at the end of the day, and doesn’t want you to keep dealing with the same problems over and over and over again. Because as humans, we like the security of doing something, even if it isn’t in our best interest and having someone outside of you that is for your best interest. I mean, it’s just it’s the only shortcut in life. I really believe that.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:14:13 Yeah, I agree, and I think also, as you’ve said, coaches don’t always have all the all of the answers, but they do have all of the questions. But I think equally, we’ve each each of us, whether we’re a coaching, we’re not a coach, we’ve all got our lived experience. And actually, that’s really powerful for anybody that might now be facing something we’ve already lived through because although it would be different, although it will be unique because it will be their experience, not yours.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:14:41 Knowing that people have got through it, knowing that people have come through the other side can be really helpful, can’t it? In those moments when it all just feels overwhelming?
James Brackin IV 00:14:51 Yeah, absolutely. I think it’s funny too, because I think experiment or experience comes from experiments in a way, and to some, some respect. Like there are people I think everyone’s experiences when you’re like, I can think of an example of I was on a plane a few months ago, and I’m sitting next to an older man that was trying to give me all the advice in the world, and it was just terrible advice. And it’s he’s probably in a 70s, in his 80s and just giving me like the worst possible advice ever. And it brings me back to like, I think wisdom doesn’t come from age, but it comes from experience. Experience, and a lot of experience comes from experimentation. Just putting yourself in positions to see what you’re capable of, to see what life is really all about. And there are so many people that the longer you live doesn’t mean that you have more experience, because you could be creating the same experience over and over and over again.
James Brackin IV 00:15:37 I mean, there’s people in my family that are much older than I am, and I’m teaching them things that they had no possible idea of. And that’s just because I experimented, and I put myself in positions and learned from people that are ahead of me in other situations.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:15:49 I love that because it is it’s looking. It’s looking at those people that are a bit further ahead, isn’t it? And going, well, I wonder what and how they got there. I wonder what I might be able to do. And then, and then feeling the fear and doing it. Anyway, I remember many years ago, having to do an exercise where you went and asked people that you trusted like colleagues, friends, etc. and you know, what are the 1 or 2 things that you see as my strengths? And what are the 1 or 2 things where you see, I get in my own way? and it came back almost unanimously with Brave and Fearless. And I was like, yeah, I don’t get that.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:16:21 I live in fear all of literally every day. I live in fear of getting found out for finding out that I’m only a hairdresser. Really, and I shouldn’t have this board level role or whatever was the story I had going on in my head, And I was like, okay, you’re going to have to give me more information on that because I don’t understand it. And then we’re like, you will literally up sticks and move to a place where you know nobody for a job you’re not convinced you can do. And I went and they said, that’s brave and fearless, I mean, interesting. I thought you all thought I was flighty and a little bit stupid. So although I did the push myself to go and experiment, can I actually do this? Can I go and live on my own somewhere? Where? There. You know where I know nobody whilst trying to do a new job or learn a new skill? and actually, yeah, you can sometimes you fall some, but you can get it from that current, you can get it from that fall and go, I go life.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:17:12 I’ve found life only really makes sense in the rear view mirror. Like when you look back and you can put the jigsaw pieces together. You’re like, that’s why that not happened. Whereas when I’m in it, I’m not always that certain. And so one of the things I look for is just the next jigsaw puzzle. It’s like I can’t see the pictures, I’m just gonna see the next thing that fits. So. So for me, sometimes that’s what success looks like for the day. It’s like I found the next part of the puzzle and I fit it together. So I might still not know the picture, but I’ve moved that little bit further forward. What does success look like for you?
James Brackin IV 00:17:48 Success for me has really changed over the years and it continues to change, and I hope it does. It’s for the most part, it’s my standards is what I’ve said for a long time. It’s like, am I doing what I said I would do? At the end of the day? There’s a quote by Tom Bellew, that has stuck with me for a few years, and it’s probably my favorite quote ever.
James Brackin IV 00:18:07 And that’s all that matters, is how you feel about yourself when you’re by yourself. A lot of us are looking for external things, achievements, places we want to get to, things we want to do to fill a void within ourselves. And I think if we just did what we said we do, we had a strong relationship with ourselves. Like discipline isn’t, you know, pushing yourself from a place of hatred, but it’s doing things that you know are going to be in your benefit in the future. and so that’s for me. That’s what it looks like. Am I happy with myself in my in my in my doing what I said I would do my showing up for myself. That’s that’s success. Because that’s all I really can be in control of is what I’m doing. Not so much what I’m getting from what I’m doing.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:18:43 I love that it’s so true, isn’t it? We can only control that. That viewpoint is that am I doing the things in my control, and am I holding myself to account for doing the things that I’ve committed to? And I know for me personally, one of the things that I was really bad at and I’m getting much better was and I’d love your thoughts on this, was I would do that.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:19:05 But then if somebody else needed me, if somebody else had a problem and they wanted your help, I would stop what I promised to myself. And I did it for that because I think, well, no, I should, I should do that and I can get around to that. And then all of a sudden never got around to mine because you were so busy and taking that step back to say I am equally as important as everybody else, I’m no more important, but I’m also no less important. And therefore I should prioritize not only helping others, but doing the things I’ve committed to doing as well. And I had to be really intentional about making that change. Is that something that you’ve observed people doing?
James Brackin IV 00:19:43 Yeah, I mean, I think it’s like the oxygen mask idea of when you’re on a plane, right? Like you have to show up for yourself first. The amount of coaches I know that don’t have a coach themself blows me away. It just it’s it’s it doesn’t make any sense.
James Brackin IV 00:19:56 Like for me. And it’s going to be in some capacity, whether it’s my health or, my business or my personal, spiritual health. Like, there’s so many things that you can move forward in your life. For me, boundaries have always been something that I’ve been really good at, because if I don’t show up for myself, how can I show up for anyone else at the end of the day? But I think a lot of people do struggle with taking on the burden of what other people have going on, when at the end of the day, it’s their responsibility and you can give all the advice. You can help them in every direction, but you cannot help people that don’t want to be helped. I’ve really, really. And it’s one of the most difficult things to accept because when you are improving your life in so many ways, all you want to do is help other people and take them along the ride. But people can bring you down if you if they don’t want to be helped or if they don’t want your help.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:20:39 Yeah, I that’s so resonates. Or when you suddenly think, well hold on, I’m doing I’m doing all the work and you’re not doing any of it. So you’re not really evolved or changed. It reminds me of, there’s a book by Marshall Goldsmith called Becoming Coachable that says, actually, you’ve got to be ready to be coached. You’ve got to be ready to make the change. Because change is uncomfortable. doesn’t mean say, we can’t do it, but it’s uncomfortable. And therefore you’ve got to be willing to go through the uncomfortable, to be able to to be able to come to the other side, haven’t you? And I love that you used the analogy of the, of the, oxygen mask because I never used to get that. Surely you don’t do that. You know, if I’ve I’ve got little one, then surely I’d put it on her first until I realized, hold on. If I put it on her and can’t get mine on what happens to her. If I get mine on, then I.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:21:31 I’m going to have been much more used to her to be able to be able to help, but I’m ashamed to say that it took me until in my 40s, when I had a child, that I realized that dawning realization. It was like, oh, she’d be no use with just the oxygen mask on and she’d be really scared. Whereas you’ve got to do that the other way. But it was a real eye opener, for me to then look at how many times am I trying to pull from an empty cup because you’re trying to do everything for everybody else, but you’re not coming back and holding yourself to account, and you’re allowing yourself to get away with murder because you can go, oh, I didn’t do any of those things because I was being Mother Teresa over here to all these other people. But actually, I’m like, yeah, but your accountability is to to you. And like you said at the start, sometimes you’ve got to put your back against the wall to to force yourself to go.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:22:26 There is nowhere else to go. Doing nothing is not an option. And so I’ve got to, I’ve got to find a way through. I’ve got to push through. and I think also, you know, as you say, always having a coach because we can’t see our own blind spots. Doesn’t matter if you’re the best coach in the world, you won’t be able to see your own blind spot because you’re blind to them. and that’s kind of what you’re needing, is it is somebody who can who can help you probe into those, like, why are you blind to them? What what’s really sitting underneath that? and then what what options might you have? because I think for me, that’s the bit I love about both my coach and both when I’m coaching is it becomes much more about a team, a team effort. You no longer in it on your own. I mean, you are you’ve got you’ve got to do the work, but actually you’ve now got other people whose sole purpose is to help you achieve that goal.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:23:23 And so it’s like being when I lead big teams, it’s like being in a team, you know, you’ve got collective support to help you get there. Do you find the same with the people you’re working with?
James Brackin IV 00:23:36 Yeah, absolutely. There’s been people that I’ve worked with that I can show up for them, but if they don’t show up for them, then it’s not going to work at the end of the day. Right? Like I can do all the I, I can’t do all the work. Right. Like that’s just how it works. and so that’s why I work one on one with people. And I’m very selective with who I work with, because I know that it’s going to be more of a hassle to work with the people that don’t really want to put in the work. And you can usually tell those kind of people, but yeah, if they’re not showing up for themselves, it’s it’s the same thing with like wanting to help people that maybe were in your family or your close friends, like, you just genuinely cannot help them if they don’t want to put in the work to actually help themselves.
James Brackin IV 00:24:12 At the end of the day, it’s really difficult because a lot of people need to get to a point where it’s so bad that they’re forced to make a positive change. And for me, and I bet the same thing for you. It’s like we want to help people before they get there, but it’s so difficult for people to get out of what they know, even if they know that what they know isn’t exactly what they want.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:24:29 That’s so true, because I think sometimes and we have all these sayings, I don’t know if they if they, if you have the same over, but, you know, over here we’ve got sayings like about the devil, you know. Grass isn’t always greener. So all these things that were to anchor us to, no matter how bad the situation is, it could get worse. Yeah. So you better just not move because you just got to stay where you are. And I think we had them peppered throughout our childhood. And you’re like, but they’re not true.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:24:56 They’re not true. It might be better on the other side. We can change things. We don’t have to. We don’t have to go. Well, this is awful, but at least I know what it is. We can go. Well, this is awful. What bits of it can I change? What steps can I, you know, what steps can I see that I could start to make some some evolution. And I know it’s not just the the coaching, but I’d love to also get onto your podcast as well, because I think podcasting is a great way of also sharing people’s lived experience, helping people to access other people’s stories, to be able to take from those whatever they want or whatever they think is going to speak to them right now. So tell me more about your podcast and what made you get started?
James Brackin IV 00:25:39 Yeah, it’s funny, my my coaching journey started through the podcast in a way. because I joined a coaching program and it was by, one of the biggest podcasters in the world.
James Brackin IV 00:25:49 And so I thought, well, I don’t really know what a coach is, but I know that I want to create a podcast. So let me move down this path. I always I think it was an affirmation, I almost told myself of UConn to growing up because, I mean, everyone’s plagued with self-doubt in some way, shape or form in some, in some level. And for me, it was something that really held me back. And so I really thought, like, I want to learn from people that are ahead of me in some shape or form, whether it’s talking about anxiety or it’s talking about business or it’s talking about career development. There’s so many things that we can learn. And so my approach was, well, I want to learn from the people that had to overcome a lot of things. And I didn’t want to go to college for it. But I still want to learn about neuroscience. I still want to learn about psychology. Let me just go to the direct person that’s speaking about it.
James Brackin IV 00:26:32 Instead of going to all the classes that I would have to go to to learn about it. And I learned a much faster route. And that was the approach was, I just want to learn from people and help people through sharing stories, to help them believe that, you know, you need to unlearn a lot of things to be able to step forward. It’s not so much about learning things, but more so what did these people have to unlearn? What are they unlearning? And then how can my audience also unlearn that as well? And it’s kind of like humanizing, world changing individuals, like they’re not. We put a lot of people on pedestals, but if I can bring it down to like, what are you still going through? I think it gives a lot of other people a lot of hope for themselves as well.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:27:05 I love that, and it’s so true, isn’t it? But very often it’s what we’ve got to unlearn, not what we’ve got to still. Yeah. and like you, I’ve got a real fascination with neuroscience and all of those parts, but I came to it later in life and couldn’t find the time to go and study.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:27:22 So I was like, well, let me go and learn from people. Let me go and see. How did you get so cool, I understand that, how do you like what what happened in your life to to be able to, to give you that insight. And I guess that’s the society we live in now, isn’t it? It’s like you could go and read the books and spend the next 30 years doing it, or you can have a half hour conversation with the person who wrote the book, and they can give you the like the key takeaways like, by all means read the whole book. But actually the three things you need to take away from this that are actionable, that you can do something with are this, this and this like brilliant. Now I can actually affect some change.
James Brackin IV 00:28:00 Well, for me, what I thought was fascinating was I, I found, I took a lot of pride in never reading a book throughout my entire life up until I was about 16, after I got out of high school, 17.
James Brackin IV 00:28:10 And I never read any books. My mom and sister always told me, you’re going to start reading. You’ll eventually read. And I was like, no, I hate reading. It sucks. All the books that they gave me never give me it. Just never give me anything in life. Start reading books. After I got at high school, that actually improved my life and I thought, let me read this book. But I still have some questions. I still have some questions based on this, on this, this and this. And it doesn’t really make makes much sense to me. So let me go talk to the author. To this day, it’s still, I assume, probably the same thing for you and a lot of podcasters. It’s the coolest thing in the world when I can read a book that Seth Godin, 21 international bestselling author wrote and then then go speak to him like, that was just a that’s like a instead of meeting celebrities like, that is my celebrity. That is the person.
James Brackin IV 00:28:47 Those are the kind of people that I’m genuinely so fascinated by, because they took years out of their life to dedicate so much to this specific problem that multiple people never overcome throughout their entire life. And so I thought it’s fascinating. Still think it’s fascinating. I think it’s the coolest thing ever.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:29:03 And I love that. And I think, you know, it just shows that when you put yourself out there, it’s it’s amazing because the amount of people that will go, well, I couldn’t possibly ask them. I was like, oh my God, it’s their life’s work. It’s their life’s work. So if you’re interested enough to ask them questions about their purpose, their their reason, for for giving their life over to it, they’re not going to go. No. Sorry. I’m busy. That’s because they’re like, yes, I want somebody to be involved in the debate. Actually, it’s it demonstrates, doesn’t it? They’re their legacy is doing what they expected their legacy to do and and to continue that debate.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:29:37 So I love that actually you’re taking that I think very often we when we’re growing up and we learn it in a particular way, and I see so many people that come and find that they’re calling to get involved in something that’s going to transform and develop them much later, because they didn’t want to follow the path that wasn’t their path. Yeah. It was. Let’s put everybody on the same path and let’s like, let’s just push you along. And I’ve seen so many people that have like left school and not done that, but come back to it and ended up being significantly more successful because it’s now being done through intentionality. And it’s doing. It’s being done because they are in the driving seat. And I think, I think once we find that driving seat for ourselves, things become so much clearer, don’t they?
James Brackin IV 00:30:23 Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think it’s a lot of people are in a place where they don’t know what they want, and it’s so they’re plagued with just paralysis by analysis of like, there’s so many things I can do.
James Brackin IV 00:30:33 I have no idea what I want to do. I think a really good advice for people that are in that position is the best decision, is the decision that you go all in on. It’s not the one that is going to put you in X position or whatever it may be, because when you are going thinking about 20 different things and you try a bunch of different things, you’re not really seeing what you’re capable of. But if you go all in on one thing, even if it’s the worst decision ever, at least you made a decision and then you move forward. Because not making any decisions at all still is a decision to begin with. But you’re just deciding to stay in the same place, which is probably that is the worst decision. The best decision is just choosing one, going all in, deciding that, hey, I can actually change my mind about this. This doesn’t have to be the rest of my life. And then going down that and then maybe changing your mind. You could even change your mind a few weeks later and then just decide to do something else.
James Brackin IV 00:31:19 But just going all in on one thing, committing to it instead of just being interested in it. There’s a big difference between the two. I think it would just give so many people just the emphasis of like, hey, I’m actually in control here. Like, I can change my mind because so many people think when I go down this path, like, that’s my path because that’s what college tells us, right? Is like, we go to college, I’m going for this thing. But the amount of people that changed their major like, goodness gracious, it’s more people change your major than than stick to the same major, even drop out. And so it’s the same thing in life.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:31:47 I love that. It reminds me. I was chatting to somebody on the show a few weeks ago, Cindy Carillo, and her book is about finding your next. Yeah. So not thinking about it being like, no, every decision is like, once I’ve done it, there’s no going back. It’s that was just the next decision.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:32:02 It’s like, I’ve got it, I’ve got to go in and I’ve got to go all in. but interestingly, one of the things I’ve found over the years is people are very good at writing the goals in the negative, so they write about what they don’t want. I don’t want to get older. I don’t want to be overweight. I don’t want to be in this job. I don’t want to be anywhere. Like, okay, what do you want? Yeah. I’ve not thought of that. Well, come on, let’s work that out because we need to. We need to be setting it about where we want to go, because if not, we’re going to end up where we don’t want to go.
James Brackin IV 00:32:30 Yeah. I mean, I think for a lot of people, they don’t have good role models around them. And so figuring out what you don’t want is the only step that they can take. Right? And it’s funny to think of it through this lens, but I’ve seen a lot of people, speak on it like this is or not a lot of people speak on it like this is if you don’t know what you want, it’s really good to get clear on what you don’t want because then you just do the opposite.
James Brackin IV 00:32:53 Yeah. Like like for me, I grew up with a lot of people that just struggled with money and struggled with just not loving what they do for work. And so really young. I just got really intentional about my personal finance and figuring out what do I need to do to set myself up for success. And now when I speak to financial advisors and people like that, they’re like, how did like what is going on right now? You’re so young, how do you have this? And it’s like, well, I just knew that that’s what I didn’t want was to struggle with money. And the same thing when it comes to work and helping people and, you know, dealing with mental health problems that so many people deal with. Just if you don’t know what you want, figure out what you don’t want. But if you do know what you want, fully focus on that, because we get way too consumed on what we don’t want and then we move towards it. What you just said.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:33:33 I love that. And I think the point for me that was really, impactful about that is start with what you don’t want and then do the opposite. Yeah. And I think for me that’s that’s a crucial part because if not, if you just focus on being really clear on what you don’t want, but you don’t then look at a case. So what’s the opposite of that? So I don’t want this. Therefore what’s the opposite of it. Because that’s probably what I do want. You can stay stuck can’t you, in that paradigm of kind of well, I don’t want it, but it’s still happening to me. I think doing that step that you that you talked about, which was then doing the opposite. Well, I don’t want that. So I don’t want to struggle with, with, finances. I do want to have good finances. I want to have what, you know, what I need to to continue. James, I could literally chat to you all day, but I’m very conscious of time.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:34:21 So before we get on to how people can get in touch with you and how can they work with you, and I appreciate your. You’re already, so young, but so much in. If you could go back and give your younger self some advice, what would it be?
James Brackin IV 00:34:36 Just trust yourself more honestly. And everything that I’ve done, I mean, I’ve, I’ve trusted myself to start it. But then just in anything we forget, like, I, like I say it, I think, a recent coach of mine actually told me that recently, and it is nothing has ever resonated more in the sense of we just forget we all, we always forget. And if we could just remember a little bit more and just trust ourselves a little bit more, I think a lot of us would be in a much better place in life because we just when that intuition shows up, we just think, oh, I don’t know, I’m just gonna I don’t know, I don’t know. We just we just question ourselves.
James Brackin IV 00:35:11 And so just, just trust a little bit more.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:35:13 I love that it reminds me of a good friend of mine who introduced me to the Big Me Up book. so what she said was, you have to have a little book that you can carry around everywhere, and every time you do something well, or every time somebody compliments you, or on a scale or on something that you’ve done, you write it in the book. So for all those moments when self-doubt hits in, that should reminder you through the book and you go, now I’ve got this, I’ve got this. This is just that little devil on my shoulder that’s trying to keep me where I am. So, James, how can people get in touch and work with you? And who do you help?
James Brackin IV 00:35:48 Yeah, absolutely. I mean, the people I help, it’s it’s really it’s it’s really cool because I thought my, I thought my age was a limitation when I first started. Now I realized it’s more of a superpower because I’m able to work with really anyone at any age.
James Brackin IV 00:36:00 It’s been really cool in so many different positions and jobs, so I work with really. Anyone as broad as that may sound, it’s really true. when it comes to connecting with me, James Brack and I’ve pretty much on all socials, I’m on YouTube. You can too. Spotify, Apple Podcasts, you can find it everywhere. I think on YouTube it’s under James Brack and I’ve. But, yeah, that’s where you can find me.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:36:21 Perfect. Well, I will make sure all of the links to all of your things are in the show notes below. So for everybody listening and watching, if you want to be able to connect with James and learn more, just go to the next below and all of that will be there for you. James, thank you so very much for coming on and sharing such insight with us here. It’s been an absolute delight.
James Brackin IV 00:36:39 Thank you for having me such a great conversation. I’m grateful to impact the audience in some way.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:36:44 Fantastic. And to everybody listening and watching.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:36:46 I hope you found it as inspiring and insightful as I have. And until next time, take care.