Unlocking Personal Growth and Leadership: Insights from Amy Kemp on “Authentic Achievements”
In a recent episode of “Authentic Achievements,” host Kim-Adele engages in a compelling conversation with Amy Kemp, the CEO of Amy Kemp Incorporated, a certified habit finder coach, and the author of “I See You: A Guide for Women to Make More, Have More, and Be More Without More Work.” This episode dives deep into the nuances of personal growth, leadership, and the often-overlooked subconscious thought habits that shape our lives and careers. Here, we break down the key insights and actionable advice shared by Amy Kemp, providing a comprehensive guide for listeners and readers alike.
Introduction to Amy Kemp
Amy Kemp’s journey from a high school English teacher to a successful sales leader and now a renowned coach is a powerful testament to the transformative power of personal growth and internal reflection. With over 20 years of experience leading a national sales team and coaching more than 400 female business leaders, Amy’s story is an inspiration. She emphasises that real change starts from within, and her work focuses on helping individuals replace unhelpful subconscious thought patterns with healthier ones, leading to personal and professional success.
The Core Message: You Can’t Outwork Your Thought Habits
Understanding Subconscious Thought Habits
Amy’s core message is that one cannot outwork subconscious thought habits. Often formed early in life, these habits underpin our actions and decisions. Many driven individuals reach a point where they feel they cannot work any harder, yet they still desire to achieve more. This creates a crossroads where they must decide whether to change their goals or themselves.
Actionable Advice:
Identify Your Thought Habits: Reflect on your recurring thoughts and beliefs. Are they helping or hindering your progress?
One of Amy’s most actionable pieces of advice is to seek external feedback. Engage with a coach or mentor who can help you identify and challenge unhelpful thought patterns. This is not just a step, but a crucial leap in the journey of personal growth and leadership, as it paves the way for significant change and progress.
Practice Mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness practices such as meditation or journaling to become more aware of your subconscious thoughts.
The Importance of Internal Reflection
Confronting Uncomfortable Truths
Kim and Amy discuss the significance of internal reflection and the need to confront uncomfortable truths. Often, individuals know what changes to make but resist acknowledging those truths due to fear or vulnerability. Amy emphasises that sustainable change cannot occur in isolation; it requires support from others.
Actionable Advice:
Create a Safe Space for Reflection: Set aside regular time for self-reflection in a quiet, comfortable environment.
Another critical piece of advice from Amy is to embrace vulnerability. She encourages the audience to allow themselves to feel and process uncomfortable emotions. This is not a sign of weakness but a crucial step towards growth. By normalising the experience of feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable, Amy’s advice empowers the audience to step into their courage and embrace their personal growth and leadership journey.
Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with trusted individuals who can provide honest feedback and support.
Recognising and Embracing Natural Talents
Overcoming Self-Doubt
A significant theme in the episode is the importance of recognising and owning one’s natural talents. Amy explains that many individuals struggle to articulate their unique gifts, often downplaying their abilities because they come easily to them. She encourages listeners to embrace their natural genius and not to undervalue their skills simply because they find them effortless.
Actionable Advice:
List Your Strengths: Write down your skills and talents, no matter how insignificant they may seem.
Seek Validation: Ask friends, family, or colleagues to share what they believe your strengths are.
Celebrate Your Talents: Regularly acknowledge and celebrate your achievements and strengths.
The Value of Diverse Leadership Styles
Embracing Authentic Leadership
Amy emphasises that the world needs a variety of leadership approaches, including those that may not fit traditional molds. She advocates for organisations to foster a more inclusive and effective environment by celebrating different styles and respecting and appreciating everyone for their unique contributions. This validation of diverse leadership styles can make the audience feel respected and appreciated for their individuality.
Actionable Advice:
Identify Your Leadership Style: Reflect on your natural approach to leadership and how it benefits your team.
Embrace Diversity: Encourage and celebrate diverse leadership styles within your organisation.
Lead Authentically: Stay true to your values and strengths, and lead naturally.
The Role of Coaching in Personal Growth
Finding the Right Coach
Amy believes that individuals often need different coaches at various stages of their lives. Just as one might seek a specialist for a specific health issue, a person may require a coach specialising in a particular area of their personal or professional development. This evolution is crucial; the person who emerges from one coaching experience may not be the same individual who needs guidance later.
Actionable Advice:
Assess Your Needs: Identify the areas where you need guidance and growth.
Research Coaches: Look for coaches who specialise in those areas and have a proven track record.
Invest in Coaching: Prioritise coaching in your budget as an investment in your personal and professional development.
The Importance of Play and Rhythm
Incorporating Guilt-Free Play
Amy introduces the concept of “guilt-free play” and the importance of incorporating rhythms into our lives. She explains that life is filled with natural rhythms, from the changing seasons to the structure of our weeks. However, many people neglect the need for play and downtime in their work schedules. Amy argues that scheduling time for activities that bring joy and relaxation can enhance creativity and problem-solving abilities.
Actionable Advice:
Schedule Play Time: Dedicate specific times in your calendar for activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Embrace Rhythms: Recognise and honour the natural rhythms in your life, such as work cycles and seasonal changes.
Prioritise Well-Being: Ensure that your schedule includes time for self-care and activities that recharge you.
Trusting Yourself
Listening to Your Inner Voice
Towards the end of the episode, Kim asks Amy what advice she would give her younger self. Amy reflects on her journey and desires to have trusted herself more. She acknowledges that distractions from external voices can lead to a loss of motivation and clarity. Instead of following the advice of others, she emphasises the importance of listening to one’s inner voice and staying true to personal values and strengths.
Actionable Advice:
Tune Out Noise: Limit exposure to external opinions that do not align with your values and goals.
Trust Your Instincts: Practice making decisions based on intuition and inner guidance.
Stay True to Yourself: Regularly revisit your values and ensure your actions align.
In this insightful episode of “Authentic Achievements,” Kim and Amy explore the profound impact of subconscious thought habits on personal and professional growth. They emphasise the importance of internal reflection, the value of diverse leadership styles, and the need to recognise and embrace one’s natural talents. By fostering a supportive community and engaging in meaningful conversations, individuals can navigate their journeys of self-discovery and achieve authentic success.
Listeners are left with a powerful message: true growth begins from within. Understanding and changing our thought habits can unlock our full potential and create our desired lives. Embrace your natural talents, trust yourself, and prioritise play and well-being to lead a fulfilling and balanced life.
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Transcript:
Automatically Transcribed With Podsqueeze
Kim-Adele Randall 00:00:06 Hello and welcome to today’s episode of Authentic Achievements, where it’s my absolute pleasure to be joined by the fabulous Amy Kemp. Amy, welcome.
Amy Kemp 00:00:16 Thank you for having me, Kim. I’m excited to be here.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:00:19 Oh, I’m excited to have you here, Amy. And I know from our quick chat beforehand, we’re going to get stuck in quite quickly. So before we do, let me share with those listening and watching a little bit more about you. So Amy is the owner and CEO of Amy Kemp Incorporated. In her work within this growing company, Amy helps leaders and business professionals understand how deeply thought habits impact every part of their work and lives. As a certified Habit Finder coach, Amy has led over 400 female business leaders through a four month small group engagement called encounter. This experience is designed to help clients replace subconscious thought habits that are no longer serving them with more healthy ones. She’s worked through the Habit Find a curriculum with hundreds of leaders in 1 to 1 settings and with the leadership teams at small and large companies.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:01:05 Finally, with the launch of her first book, I See You A guide for women to Make More, Have more and Be More Without More Work, which came out on February 29th, 20 of this year, 2020 for Amy’s created an opportunity for everyone to learn and engage with it and the principles that guide her coaching. Amy, I love it because there’s just a subconscious brain and the thoughts that we allow to foster there can have such a detrimental effect, and yet we leave them there. But before we get into that, what an amazing journey. Could you bring that to life a little bit more for us and share with us how you got to here?
Amy Kemp 00:01:42 I would love to. I think the the through line of my life’s journey is that I am captivated by seeing people start here and go to their wherever, here and there are this idea of growth and development of people has been the absolute, central message of all the work I’ve done, starting as a high school English teacher, where I worked with students, and then moving into sales and leading and a national sales team for over 20 years.
Amy Kemp 00:02:23 And then in the last seven years in this capacity, using a tool where I’m working with people on their subconscious habits of thinking, what what I see through all of those iterations of my professional life is that people can grow and change, and a lot of that, happens inside and then creates external results. So if you can work on you and really develop you as a person, the external results tend to show up out of the blue. So I also have three children. two in college, and then one caboose who’s coming up behind and keeping us on our toes. And then my husband, who also is a principal at a high school here in the Chicagoland area.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:03:11 Wow. So, so a lot going not going on. but I, I love that whole that drive around people being able to continue to grow. I think that’s the one thing that I’ve, it’s always driven me, which is we can all we’re all just on a journey and we can all grow. And if something it doesn’t serve as we can learn to change that.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:03:35 but we do have to go inward, don’t we, to, to do some of the fixing. And having spent far too many years and looking outward for, you know, whatever, whatever was going to solve the problem. And it wasn’t until I learned to go inward that I realized that actually, that’s where you could make the biggest difference outwardly. but you had to go in first. So what? I know the core message of your book is you can’t, outwork your thought habits. About what that means.
Amy Kemp 00:04:02 Yeah. We talk a lot about habits in the business world and in business spaces. I feel like that’s sort of a buzzword, and they’re very important. What we talk less about are our subconscious habits of thinking that oftentimes create the external habits that you see that show up in your day to day life. the work that I do really focuses on these subconscious habits of thinking. And I will tell you, a lot of the particularly business owners and or career driven people that I work with reach a point in their journey where they’ve climbed the ladder a bit, they’ve built something.
Amy Kemp 00:04:45 They’re not brand new just starting out, but they get to a point in their journey where they cannot work any more hours or they just don’t have the energy to work any more than what they’re working. And hard work never was their problem in the first place. They’ve got that part down, and you absolutely still have ambition of growing the thing to the next level or moving your career to the next level. And so then what do you do right there? There’s sort of a crossroads. can I share just a little story of when I get to that point myself? so this is actually in chapter one of my book where we had our annual meeting with our financial advisor, and she’s a trusted friend and mentor of mine. I really respect and admire her. So we head into her office. I had spent several hours preparing all of the forms that you fill out, kind of overview of our finances, our goals, all of those things. And so I remember what I was wearing. I remember the feel of the maroon burlap chairs that I was sitting on.
Amy Kemp 00:06:00 I remember the air conditioner, the sound of it. It was one of those moments that sort of it solidifies in your mind. And that’s was sitting there with all these forms on her desk sort of lined up in a row, and she said, you know, I’ve reviewed everything. You’re very organized. You’re not overspending. You don’t have debt. There’s just one problem. If you want to achieve the goals that you’ve outlined here paying for college for three kids and the retirement goals we had and just all of the goals we had, she said. You’re not making enough money. And I can remember feeling like all the air left the room. I don’t know what else she said for the rest of the meeting, I’m sure I was responding, but all that was happening in my head was I can’t work any more hours. My husband is sitting next to me, very vetted in his career in education, not going anywhere and shouldn’t. This is what he’s supposed to do. And the only way he makes more money is by getting older.
Amy Kemp 00:07:11 So he’s sort of there, and I’m thinking there’s no one else in the room. This is actually on my shoulders. And the reality of that left me with a choice. Do I change the goals or do I change me because it was not an option? With our kids in their busiest season of their lives, our lives being so busy that there was no option for me to work more hours without sacrificing things that I’m just not going to sacrifice. And so I really had to do some changing of my subconscious habits of thinking in order to take my income to the next level without working more. So that’s a good example.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:07:57 I love that because I think sometimes that’s why we find these, these gifts, and I see them as gifts when we find that breakthrough and we see that gift, but we we usually find them in a period of despair where we’re kind of like, they’re going really well else, and I don’t know where to go. but but they’re the moments where actually the rubber does hit the road.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:08:26 You do have to then go, okay, let me think this through. What is what is most important to me? You know what? What am I willing to change and what am I not willing to change? so, you know, for example, things that you’re not willing to change is giving up any more time with your family than you already have to because you’re already working so many hours. So you’re like, right, that’s definitely a non-negotiable. That’s not happening. And it allows you to come to, Okay, these are the bits I’m willing to change because these ones are too important. So, it’s the only one. And I came to a similar place online. I was like, okay, the change is going to be you. You in the mirror. You’re going to need to, to do something differently. because if not it to your point, you know, I was I was definitely guilty of being one of those people that, you know, before I had my little girl that had corporate jobs.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:09:18 And you know what? Consider whether or not I could merge Saturday and Sunday and call them some day and use the time to do a little bit more work. So that’s where we went. And that all changed. And you’re like, no, actually your priorities changed. The things that are important to you changes. But unless you do the work that you’ve done and that you’re helping, all these other these leaders to do, you’re running on outdated software. You know, I kind of look at mine, I think. Is it is it I say that you form the you form the beliefs at seven, enforce them at 14, embed them at 21. And if you don’t go back and do the work, then you’re running on that software. And I look at myself, I’m putting my, my phone over there, but I’m like, I’m 51 now. So if I hadn’t gone and looked at it, I’d be running on 30 year old software. And yet the minute that the phone tells me it needs an update or I’m like a mac, a pie must update.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:10:16 It clearly can’t wait. Can’t wait a couple of days. So for me that was the part was I really wanted to update all of your equipment, but you won’t update the most important equipment that you’re new to to kind of run your life.
Amy Kemp 00:10:30 I can’t believe you’re using this analogy, because in the publishing process, in my proposals, that’s the exact analogy that I gave, is that, yes, this idea of these upgrades that we’re constantly doing with our technology, but not doing in our own thinking and in our own way that we’re showing up in the world, but it’s sometimes a little bit intimidating or it’s a little bit vulnerable. And I also do not believe it’s possible to do it alone. I don’t think real sustainable life change or habits of thinking can be changed in isolation, even with as many tools and as much information as we have today, I’m convinced that we change in the context of relationships and community.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:11:22 I completely agree. I mean, we need that psychological safe space to go and do the digging, and you can’t do that for yourself because you can’t do the digging and be your own psychological safe space.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:11:33 It’s it’s too much. and so and also, I, you know, I believe we’ve got blind spots for a reason. We’re blind to them. And therefore, unless we’ve got somebody else who can shine a light on those for us and go, yeah, you might want to look in that corner over there. That’s a bit dark. We’re never going to look in that corner over there because we’re we’re blinded to it.
Amy Kemp 00:11:53 I absolutely are 100% agree. And not only blind spots, but the people around us, particularly if you’re leading a business or you’re leading within the context of a business or organization or government or wherever you lead. They all have agenda in your decisions. So for me, I knew I can’t talk to the people I’m leading about the fact that I’m feeling a transition coming on because I knew my decisions would filter down and have such a significant impact on so many people, and they had a stake in my staying where I was. Even my husband, who’s awesome, he’s not coaching me.
Amy Kemp 00:12:39 He’s my spouse. You know, I needed someone who was so far outside of my day to day experience, any kind of connection to my decisions, who could just be a sounding board and create a space where I could talk through some of the noise that was keeping me from making the changes that I knew needed to happen. Here’s the other interesting thing about that conversation with our financial advisor. I kind of knew it.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:13:10 Yeah.
Amy Kemp 00:13:12 I mean, I didn’t want to know it, but I kind of knew it. And I had been playing around with that for a bit. But it was there was a lot attached to me really owning that truth that I had to wrestle with and reckon with. And so, I would not have been able to do that without the help of several coaches throughout the journey of the transition that that happened from that point forward.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:13:39 I love that, and I think it is so true deep down, deep down, we know, but we almost don’t want to know, and I can’t.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:13:46 I need to find out who it is, because I must have used this a few times recently. But I read a book and then in it she shares. But it’s not our darkness that scares us. It’s our light. It’s the fact that we might be really good at something and that feels egotistical. That feels wrong. Yeah, we’re told egos are egos a bad thing. And yet actually, our light and and the thing that we’re good at, the thing, that, you know, I think you encourage your readers, is to do the thing that feels easy to you and astonishes everybody else. It’s that thing that is your natural talent. And again, natural talent sounds a bit braggy, doesn’t it? And yet we have. And yet we all have that thing where we’re talented. yeah, I remember mine was I can literally talk to anybody. I’m the person that people talk to on the Tube in London. Nobody talks on the tube.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:14:43 I got people giving me that.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:14:45 Kids to cuddle.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:14:46 Like, okay.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:14:48 But I didn’t think that that was a particularly a particular gift because I’m like, well, we can all talk pretty easy until you watch people that can’t. And so how do you help people to own their natural talent? Because they probably know deep down where it is, but they’ve not really owned it yet.
Amy Kemp 00:15:11 I believe this is a unique part of my coaching that I never imagined would become a part of it, and that is being able to articulate I in just talking with clients and working with them for a period of time, I start to be able to see what their natural genius is, but they almost to a person, can’t identify at themselves now when I say it. So if I said to you, oh, you have such a natural ability to connect with people in any setting that would ring true to you and you would say, oh, of course, I’ve always done that, and you could trace it back. But if I asked you, what is your natural genius? Most people just go blank.
Amy Kemp 00:15:55 They have nothing. So it’s sort of a building process. It’s funny, I was just talking with a client about this. Who? She’s a leader in her organization who does have a great deal of impact. But her leadership is very different from our, stereotypical style of what we think of leadership as this charismatic, out in front, leading from the stage, always having a vision. She’s a connector. She’s, watching the vibes of the room. She’s a quiet, introspective, thoughtful leader who shows up to tables, noticing, listening, Observing, and then maybe following up with a quiet conversation afterward to see how someone’s doing. She’s leading. But it’s not this. And so for years, she has felt like she needed to become a better leader and to become this stereotype. And we had this really great conversation where I said, I think our world needs more of your style of leadership. We’ve got the other covered in spades.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:17:10 You know, all over that.
Amy Kemp 00:17:13 I’m not sure it’s serving us well in every context.
Amy Kemp 00:17:15 Right. Particularly not with a counterbalance of this more, I might even say, stereotypically feminine energy that she’s bringing to the leadership space. But do that. Please bring more of that without apology and without trying to be what you’re not. I learned this from a very young age. I actually worked alongside my mom, who is an exceptional leader, but exceptionally different from me as well. She’s very much charismatic, out in front, outgoing, kind of the life of the party, you know, she’ll walk into a room and is sort of magnetic. I’m a very strategic one on one developing people and intimate spaces, analytical, more quiet leader. And for years felt like I wasn’t leading because I wasn’t that example.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:18:18 Yeah.
Amy Kemp 00:18:19 The day I remember, the day where I thought, oh, I don’t I don’t have to be that, I can be this, I can do this. And when I do this, it grows that everything around me grows. And it became this very empowering. And the best part was I could also celebrate the beauty of the way that she leads.
Amy Kemp 00:18:44 I could really just be so grateful to have her energy in that space, and then I could bring mine. We don’t need people to be what they’re not. So I think that idea of natural genius and doing what feels easy to you and is challenging for everyone else, is so vital to the future of of businesses, of communities, even of of faith organizations, that we have all kinds of gifts being used.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:19:12 I love that, and I think you’re so right. You know, the start you were saying, you know, it’s really hard to find that for yourself. And, you know, I found my natural talent through my first coach and, you know, and we sat there and I remember him saying, you know, I remember sitting down with me, and this is how far away from knowing my truth that I was, and he said, you know, what do I need to know? And I said, I’m rubbish at my job. And he went, okay, interesting. And he said, you got any facts to support that? I won’t know.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:19:38 But at least I know it.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:19:40 And certain.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:19:42 Any facts to the contrary? And I was like no anon. And he was like, okay, can I share with you a couple of facts? I was like, please do. I just want I just want to get better anyway. Okay. So, aren’t you in your third quarter of double digit growth? Yeah. No, that’s true anyway. And hasn’t your team got the highest engagement score of the entire organization globally? Yeah. He said, isn’t it in fact higher than the five year aspiration event. Yeah. Yeah that’s true. So didn’t you just win leader of the year.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:20:13 And I went,
Kim-Adele Randall 00:20:14 I said, and with these facts, you’re still you’re still not good at my job.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:20:19 I was like, wow, we would suggest.
Amy Kemp 00:20:24 Otherwise.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:20:27 But I looked at all these other leaders who were those charismatic, well, pulled together, very corporate looking. And I was like, yeah, I’m like a hyperactive puppy dog most of the time.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:20:40 And I want to lead this way. and then realize, actually, you know, finding out what that that you had gotten natural talent and actually your gift is to make you feel at ease and therefore to have that safe space to tell you what’s going on so you can help them find a solution. And that that actually helps businesses grow mine. And the ones that I work in was amazing. And yet it would have been something that I would have passed off as going, oh yeah, just I just talk a lot. Yes. So then understanding that and to your point, then being able to appreciate the other energy and the importance for all different types of energies and how collectively they work better together, if we’re not all trying to be what we’re not. Yes.
Amy Kemp 00:21:23 Yes. Another add on to that, which is don’t you dare under charge for your area of natural genius just because it feels easy to you.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:21:37 Yeah, that.
Amy Kemp 00:21:41 And I’m not sure this may be a gender stereotype, but women tend to be way worse.
Amy Kemp 00:21:46 They ask for less in terms of pay raises. They don’t charge enough in their fees for whatever service or product they are bringing to the marketplace because they think, well, that feels so easy to me. I mean, just like you were saying, it feels so easy to me to encourage people and to talk to people and to get the best out of people. But that skill in the marketplace is exceptionally valuable. Don’t you under charge or undervalue or not ask for what you deserve just because it feels easy or fun or life giving to you? That’s actually the point. That’s what you should be doing and that’s what you should be getting paid the most for.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:22:28 So I love that. And and it’s true. And I have that conversation with clients all of the time, which is why, you know, when they’re thinking about what they’re going to charge. And I’m like, okay, it might take you three minutes to do that, but it’s taking you 30 years to learn how to do it in three minutes.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:22:43 So they’re paying for the 30 years, not the three, not the three minutes. You’ve got to do a combination. I mean, I would say that it feels like actually both of you get something out of it. Both of you get value and both feel equally valued. They got something that they value because it made such a massive difference to them. And you’ve got something that makes you feel valued for sharing that skill. And it’s it’s kind of trying to alter some of that. What we’ve been, how we’ve been brought up. And, you know, I’ve got amazing parents, but we’re very much brought up in the girls should be seen and not heard. I failed dismally in that area. I mean, I’ve got we’ve said, but but that was the era that was, you know, that’s how it was. And therefore you, didn’t want to stand out in the wrong way. And then you, you then start playing a different script in your head. and it isn’t until you get a good coach or a number of them, because I actually believe that you have a coach for the moment and you have a coach for the thing that you.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:23:46 Because just like.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:23:47 Anything else, you want the coach that’s an expert in thing you need to fix right now. And then actually that bit’s done. You need to do another bit. You need a different expert. So it’s that it’s that evolution, isn’t it, of making sure that you’re, constantly growing and challenging yourself because the who you become after having the first coach isn’t the person that the first coach can coach you, then you then need the next one.
Amy Kemp 00:24:13 And I think the same is true for my clients. I don’t think they need to be with me for their whole lives. I think I’m here for a season or for a purpose. And you know, we often stay in touch, but it is okay to move on and continue your growth journey. there’s no shortage of people Who benefit from the kind of work that we do. And so, I agree wholeheartedly. Yes. And in my own journey, even I think sometimes well, sometimes I hear this narrative where it’s like, well, I did I did coaching ten years ago, and I think that’s.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:24:55 Always a.
Amy Kemp 00:24:56 Part of my budget. I’ve not I’ve invested. It’s I can only think of maybe two people I know who have invested more time and money in personal development and coaching. And it’s just it’s something that I need because my brain is so busy. I need that sounding board. I perform better when I accountability. I absolutely need someone to hold space for me, because a lot of the times I’m holding space for everyone else in my life. And so that’s just I’m not apologizing for it. It will always be in my budget. Don’t even question it.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:25:34 I love that, and the same is true for me. And I had somebody say once, oh.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:25:38 Does that mean you’re.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:25:38 Not a very good coach and I should go to your coach? By all means, go to my coach. I said, I can’t coach myself. so I have a coach has actually what I you know, what I need is junior points. Somebody who can hold me accountable and that can provide that safe space and can provide the challenge and the check.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:25:55 and I also do supervisory coaching for some of the coaches to do the same bit for them. It’s like it’s just the fact of having somebody that’s external. And you said it so eloquently earlier that hasn’t got such an emotional attachment to the outcome. That doesn’t say they’re not emotionally attached to you and they want the best for you, but they genuinely got no emotional attachment to what choice you end up making. It’s like they’re there to help. And I think that’s what makes them a unique part of your of your thrive hive, aren’t they? You’ve got your family. What your friends you’ve got, you know, other people that are in there, but they become that, that kind of, my class, my coach who I adore as my critical best friend. So I know that we’ve got my best friend, my best interests at heart. But, you know, they they they will also let me know that doesn’t look good or doesn’t sound good or it doesn’t or doesn’t work for me. before I’ve gone off and done it, you know.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:26:54 It’s like.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:26:55 Come back and let’s let’s talk that through. That’s not a good option. and I think that’s what it is. I’m conscious of time. I’ve still got a few bits to talk about, but I love the thought of working and living in rhythms and guilt free play. I’d love to know more about that.
Amy Kemp 00:27:11 So if you think about almost every part of our world has rhythms, the seasons are rhythms. We’re heading into fall, the leaves are turning. It’s getting cooler in the Chicago area. things slow down a little bit. You think about our favorite music has rhythms and peaks and valleys. life has rhythms are start of our week, the middle of the week, the end of the week, the weekend, even just life as a whole. Journey starts with kind of the tyrannical tempo of toddlerhood, and then it moves into the middle part and then it you know, the I say in the book, the Wandering Waltz of older ages as we slow down, I think we’re designed for a rhythm, and we are ignoring this need in our work patterns and in our day to day schedules.
Amy Kemp 00:28:09 And my argument and I, I’ve yet to see anyone disprove it, so I’m still in a continuous study. But what I see is that when people who are high capacity people schedule. That’s a very key word guilt free play time where they are doing things that give their brain a break, meaning they cannot think about work when they are doing them, whether that is playing cards or going for a walk with a friend or having dinner with your grandma. Or I just played pickleball this morning and I love to play pickleball because when I’m playing, there’s nothing else I can think about. I build in scheduled time where I am playing. What happens is that you get into this really cool rhythm and you have something to look forward to you. And so you do a better quality of work leading up to it. Then you can take that time off guilt free and play, which actually in our human brains, stimulates creative ideas, problem solving without thinking about it. That’s all happening under the surface because we’re triggering different parts of our brain, which then allows us to come back to work and do a higher quality of work, and then we can put those creative ideas into practice.
Amy Kemp 00:29:36 And, and we have more guilt free play time. So you, you work into this beautiful cycle of, of genuine joy in all parts of it where you’re working and working and working and working and working even throughout your day, building and breaks and rhythm to your work. It’s absolutely essential. We are not machines.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:30:02 Yeah, we are.
Amy Kemp 00:30:04 And we have got to work focused. Then rest and play, work focus and then rest and play. And we generally stink at the play. I was in a, this just happened last week. I’m at an event with about maybe 40 women. And I said, what do you do for play? What are the things you love to do that. Just feel joyful and fun and you look forward to it. And it is silent. It’s silent because the thought of even being able to consider what would I want to do? This one is so far from their brains. All they’re thinking about is what they need to do for everyone else. Their work getting things done.
Amy Kemp 00:30:50 You know, there’s just this grind.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:30:54 Yeah.
Amy Kemp 00:30:55 That is not an attractive energy. It does not bring growth and abundance into your space. And so there’s got to be more prioritizing. the, the things like today I had this idea this morning about a dinner party. There’s these three couples that I think would really enjoy each other. And I thought, oh, that would be so fun if I could just invite them all over and they could get to know each other. But I’m constantly playing around with that kind of thing, because if that dinner party is on my calendar, I am looking forward to it. I have a text out to these two friends of ours who want to go to the city and spend a day, just the three of us. I, you know, there’s just a constant part of me, and you can hear it in my voice when I talk about it.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:31:41 I am alive.
Amy Kemp 00:31:45 I am not here just to work, but I love to work. But that is not the only thing.
Amy Kemp 00:31:50 And the things that are playful do not have to cost money. They don’t have to be expensive, but they have to be the things that give you a break and really fill you with joy and wonder and awe. and so I’m just a huge believer in that, that that process of scheduling the guilt free place you have something to look forward to makes you your work on higher quality. It’s all connected.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:32:16 Oh, I love that.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:32:17 I’ve got a really good friend of mine who her favorite color is pink, and she always has in her calendar her pink pink time.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:32:24 and that would.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:32:24 Be her time. That is about her and something that brings a joy. And it could be anything from like going going to sit underneath her favorite tree with a book. so like you said, it doesn’t always have to be things that cost money, but it’s things that she know is going to feed her soul. that could be I might one of my favorite ones. My fun ones is cooking. I love cooking, it’s always my go to, But I love cooking with my little girl.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:32:49 So actually, then we get family time and we get to do something. So poor little thing, which is only seven. But she knows how to make jam and pasta and bread and which for a seven year old is probably a little bit unusual, but she loves it. And and I love teaching her and showing those. And they are real moments of joy that you that have to plan in, because if not, they’re the easy thing to get bumped off. You know, it’s much faster for me to make dinner than it is to teach her how to make it with me.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:33:17 So, some things where you go, there you go.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:33:21 So I try not to be really conscious. now of to your point scheduling it and go right on Saturday. This is what we’re going to do. And then we do it. And always so much more filled with joy when we when we’ve actually done what we said we were going to do.
Amy Kemp 00:33:34 Yes, it’s the good stuff. And I, I think also I used to feel guilty about it.
Amy Kemp 00:33:40 I would feel like, oh, there’s a lot to do or oh, I’m so much more efficient, so much more effective. And I’ve built in now. I’ve gotten really good at I’m kind of mastering this whole concept, but I build in a once a month trip somewhere fun on a weekend or, and then we have scheduled vacations where I know these are times that we’re going to be taking fun trips. I, I it’s it’s become such a priority because the more I’ve prioritized it, the more successful my businesses have become. And so I just would triple dog dare anyone who’s feeling like, yeah, that’s easy for you to say. You know, I’m, I’m drowning in all of this work. That’s exactly how I felt at the outset. I just took a flier and thought, okay, I’m going to trust people who say, if you take breaks, this is going to work better. And it did it. I became so much more magnetic in my role as a leader and a business owner, because I was feeling inspired from the play.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:34:44 Oh, I love that. And you can see it. You can see it in your energy. You can see it in your in your face. it just makes such a difference. I’m really conscious. I could charge you if I really got some time. So if you could go back and give your younger self a piece of advice, Amy, what would it be?
Amy Kemp 00:35:04 I just had this conversation with two friends. We were at dinner, and I said, I wish I would have trusted myself more in my younger years. And even now when I get off track, it’s because I’m starting to listen to other voices and not being still and like, really listening to my inner knowing. I got through the publishing of this book. I got a little distracted by a lot of marketing voices recently. This is an example of this where it’s like, you should be doing this and you should be focused on this, and you should be. That’s not how I’ve grown my business as ever. And but I got distracted and I was feeling not motivated.
Amy Kemp 00:35:54 I wasn’t feeling like I had it, so to speak, where you have that sort of energy. And what I realized is that doesn’t it doesn’t fill my cup to grow it through the channels that they are suggesting. What fills my cup is serving people in very real, intimate spaces. And if there’s someone I can serve, put them on my path today and I will serve them. And when I’m in that sort of energy, the rest takes care of itself. I don’t need to have all these strategic initiatives. What I need to do is what I’m best at and trust myself and stay true to that. And when I do that, always the return comes. I’ve never done that and not had the return come 100 fold. It’s just when I get distracted by other how other people do it in. This person says in that and know I would trust myself more and sooner.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:36:57 Oh, I love that. Because we can we can get too carried away with and everybody else has got.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:37:02 You know.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:37:03 Got an opinion that they’re free to give to us. You know, I was doing a show on unsolicited feedback a while ago. and the lady that the lady asked me, the question is, what are your thoughts about it? And so. Well, and personally, if somebody provides me with unsolicited feedback, Then if the if they’re not, it’s not about me. It’s about them. Because if it really about me, they would have asked me if it was okay to give me some feedback. They would have checked in, I said. And then the second way I know it’s definitely about them and not me, is when they tell me what I should do because I should do. What they’re saying is you haven’t got the power or the knowledge to make the right choice for yourself. Well, I have got the power in the knowledge to make the right choice for myself, and if I ever give anybody feedback, what I always ask first, would you mind? And then too, I always tell them, here’s, here’s just some things that you might consider that just in your part for you to choose, you could choose to do nothing with them.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:37:57 You can choose to try them out. You can choose to throw them in the air. It really doesn’t matter. But but it’s always here’s some things to consider rather than you should do this, you should do that, you should do the other. Because I get so distracted by people telling me what I should do. that I’m that it took me a while until I realized that’s not about you. That’s about them feeling out of control in another area of their life, and wanting to regain control by taking control of yours. and so you sometimes you have to disconnect. So I love that whole trust yourself, trust that in and know it and go. That may well work for them, but that isn’t going to work for me. It’s not going to feel authentic. It’s not going to feel how I want to lead my life. And that doesn’t make it right or wrong. It just makes us different.
Amy Kemp 00:38:44 Yes, yes.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:38:47 Amy, it’s been an absolute privilege. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing such invaluable insight and sharing your stories with us and and your energy.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:38:57 It’s been a joy.
Amy Kemp 00:38:58 Thank you so much.
Kim-Adele Randall 00:39:00 And to everybody listening and watching, I hope you found today’s conversation as enjoyable, insightful, and actionable as I have. And until next time, take care.